Name changed as it’s outing to those who know me
I have perinatal anxiety and have been worried about all sorts over the course of my pregnancy so far.
I’ve just taken a week off work and felt much better in that time. In fact, my anxiety went away and I stopped getting intrusive thoughts / worries about things and was able to relax. I was calm and anything that I briefly worried about I was able to rationalise entirely within minutes.
Today is my second day back at work and I’m just not coping. I got home and went to make some pasta, baby brain in full swing and I turned the heat on the dried pasta instead of the frying pan with the sauce in. Only realised after 10-15 minutes. Pasta at the bottom of the pan was black and the whole house smells of burned food. Sitting here with the windows open, crying because I haven’t got my craving (😂) but also unable to dismiss the worry that in cleaning the kitchen I breathed in some of the burned food fumes. I know some of this is probably hormones!
I enjoy my job but there is obviously something about work which is the trigger for this. There is an obvious pattern where when I’m at work or have had a busy work day, I ruminate more and feel more worried.
I can’t morally get signed off for the rest of my pregnancy as I have a few months to go until maternity leave. Technically I could- and I’d get full pay, but it’s not the answer long-term and I do/did enjoy my job and find it really rewarding pre pregnancy. I am also worried about how it would look, having time off and then needing to take more off.
Does anyone have any advice for this situation? I am seeking anxiety support but as I say manage it extremely well when off work to the point it was pretty non existent when I could get plenty of sleep, plenty of fresh air, eat right and do things to distract myself.
Thanks xx