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Do you know anyone like this? How do you handle them?

3 replies

Cowey · 19/06/2024 14:42

School mum of child in my child’s class so can’t totally escape, meaning I have to see them at drop off/ pick up some times per week.
we started off fairly good friends but then she became draining, always gossiping about people’s things going on, not really very interesting to talk to because all she talks about is other people or something negative. She has this way of making herself sound positive but actually is quite negative. If I say for example, I’m going somewhere she will make comments like oh I heard it’s going to rain. Sounds petty but this is years now of always having a comment on something. She makes the same old ‘in jokes’ that aren’t funny and now repetitive. She gets involved in the children’s dramas. Our children are friends so it’s hard to ignore her, she is one of these people that knows everybody’s business because she comes across all nice and helpful but my feeling is that she really needs to know what’s going on, it’s so weird.

what do you make of it? There is more I could add, the sight of her now, gets me tense because I do not want to face a conversation with her.

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 19/06/2024 14:57

Depending on what she says and my mood I'd reply with something like

Well we all need the rain
I don't mind we will be indoors

When she is talking about someone
I dont know x so it doesn't matter to me .
Ohh that's nice for them / you dear ( said as condescending as possible)
I let people get on with their own lives and prefer to keep my nose out of their business ( with a very pointed look )

If I have plenty of time and am feeling mischievous
Her > yak , waffle > gossip
Me > REALLY , then what / who
Her natter > waffle
Me > no you do say , then what
Her > yes and then . . . .
Me > nooooo really then what

And on and on untill she runs dry ,
Me > so nothing interesting happened / was said then ?
It's important that the last line is delivered with a very bored expression planted firmly on you face

Cowey · 19/06/2024 18:21

I have tried the 2nd way a little bit, there is a group of mum friends in the class and I really like chatting with the others but this particular friend is also overbearing and controlling but in a very passive way, I see right through her ways but it’s tricky because she’s a very nice and kind sort of person on the surface levels

OP posts:
80schildhood · 19/06/2024 18:35

You call her friend but you don't like her. You don't need to like her...we can't like everyone. It is unreasonable to pretend to be a friend though. If it's too awkward to avoid her or tell her what you really think, then you need to just grin and bear it. Don't tell her anything personal and don't join with her talking about other people...apart from that just imagine she's a yappy dog.

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