Has anyone learnt to driver after 40?

[InMeMamsCarBrumBrum]

Always been absolutely terrified to drive. Never had a single lesson. Was taken out as a teen to drive manual and was shouted at for 'not getting it'. Never tried again till a few weeks ago when DH took me out in an abandoned carpark.

We have an automatic so was easier but I'm still extremely nervous.

Has anyone overcame their fear and learned?

Two of my friends did after their partners/ husbands were not very encouraging and belittling them. They passed with my instructor (my third, I passed at 34) and got their big prize- their freedom and never looked back. You can do this but, as they say, what doesn't challenge you, doesn't change you!

Not learned but did refresher lessons after 22 years of not driving, aged 42.

Find an instructor you click with.

Time on the road.

Practise parking until you absolutely hate parking.

Include motorway only lessons.

Pay attention to your learning style. I learn by writing so I took notes on my phone when we were pulled up etc. Made flash cards to test myself.

Nerves go - for about 4 months since getting my car I literally clutched the steering wheel to death on the motorway.

First time on the motorway without my instructor I had a small panic attack (I had someone with me) - it was just the lights and disorientation of speed - my brain was thinking oh this is just like normal driving and my body was saying we are going much faster than normal, and sending panic signals to go into freeze mode which of course you don't want to do on a motorway. I found talking out loud to myself quite helpful in those early days I.e. repeating things my instructor had said in the lessons etc.

My husband is lovely so that's no issue. I just have confidence and anxiety issues.

About 15 years ago, a good work buddy of mine a woman in her, almost mid 50's started to learn and drive where her husband was declared medically unfit.
She passed the test the 3rd time and really got used to driving quiet quickly as was able to go everywhere in London and then further afield and she had a manual car

automatics much easier to drive, pass test and now automatics are very common - even the smaller cars lots of then are automatic

Hmm. I might book a single.lesson and see how it goes 😅

I passed in my thirties in an automatic with a female instructor. It was a completely different experience to being shouted at by an aggro BSM instructor when I was 18. Go for it!

Someone I know (mid/late 40s I think). She didn't tell anyone at all (even her DH) which took the pressure right off as no-one was going on about it all the time, and it took as long as it took. Lessons (two, two-hour lessons a week) before work in a manual, passed second time.

My parents both learned when they were about 50 - about the same time as my older brothers, who passed first and took dad out for practice! (Insurance was different back then). It wasn't nerves in his case, just they'd never had need for a car nor opportunity to learn earlier. DM was more nervous but was determined and had loads of lessons. It was useful later when dad had eye problems.

You've nothing to lose by trying, and a lot to gain! Imo starting by driving round an old car park so you're confident about steering and the pedals is a great idea and automatics really are a lot easier, there's a lot less to 'get' than with manuals,

My mother in law passed first time aged 67 with a manual gearbox - and was an excellent driver!

I passed just before I turned 37 on my third attempt. I was very nervous and anxious too and I'm still so proud of myself for passing and happy with the freedom it's given me.

I did at 37 - was similarly terrified. Now it's second nature. Top tip: learn in an automatic - saves a world of pain!

I passed 2 years ago aged 42 but I haven't driven since my test. I'm still terrified. I have to bite the bullet soon as my husband has got a new job with lots of travel so I'll need to drive and I'm considering trying hypnotherapy to help with my anxiety about it.

Agree with the top tip. Ditch the manual - with the advent of electric cars they are on their way out. So much easier!

Yes I started learning automatic at 39 and passed at 41, so nearly 2 years of weekly 2 hr lessons. I didn't practice much between lessons. I was so anxious with little confidence. I passed first time though. Since I passed a few months ago I am a much better driver from driving most days. I think if I can learn to drive anyone can and I think my instructor agrees. It was such a challenge but I couldn't give up because of how much money I spent and glad I didn't now. I would also recommend automatic

In 43 and starting driving lessons on Monday eek! . I had lessons a very long time ago but I suffer depressions and anxiety and I just couldn't handle it at the time. I feel less pressured now and although still anxious I'm in a much better place. So I'm hoping it goes OK. I'm both nervous and excited at the same time.

My mum did.

My brother passed his test at 17 and at first would drive her anywhere. Until he didn't. But she had got used to not having to wait until my dad was home from work.

It took her, I think, 4 attempts.

One of her cousins did too. His work moved and it was something like 2 busses with a half hour wait in between.

Thank you all for this interesting thread that many over time will read to build up, give them more confidence to learn to drive in their 40/50's etc!!

My friend just passed her test this year aged 41.

Currently learning at 43, I started lessons in February. It's a slow process as I'm only able to do 1 lesson a week, but I'm getting there.

Passed at 42 three attempts it's possible don't give up

Yes. Faced the motorway for 2 years, driving with dread and a constant bum twitch. But now, I'm a pro driver (even if I say so myself 😅). 11 years on, with no tickets/ points (touch wood), and absolutely loving it. Find it therapeutic. The journey was not easy, but things that are really worth something special are typically not easy.