I’m claustrophobic and certain kinds of public toilet locks freak me out. Has anyone overcome this, or similar?

[LetsAllOvercomeOurFears]

Hi, I happily traverse my life with confidence (pretty much) apart from when my claustrophobia kicks in. It has ebbed and flowed over the years, sometimes not bothering me at all, but at the moment is in an acute phase. Possibly perimenopause..?

The kind of locks I hate are the ones in complete sealed cubicles which you have to rotate to lock - you can’t see the mechanism, it’s hidden, and therefore if it got stuck you’d be helpless; whereas loos with space above and below the door and a nice simple plastic bolt type lock are fine.

Has anyone managed to free themselves of this kind of phobia? It’s annoying to get rushes of pure adrenalin when I even think about turning and locking a door like that.

Would be very interested to know about any tips to help me move forwards and not care so much about something which is very unlikely to happen.

Many types of public toilet lock that rotate are designed that they can be opened from the outside, so that owners of the building can open it if someone is incapacitated inside. If you look at a lot of them, you'll see a bit under the free/engaged indicator that looks like a screwhead where someone on the outside could use a coin to turn it and open it for you if it got stuck.

I check the lock from outside, and if in any doubt I just push the door to, and rotate the lock so it says engaged. Ready to holler if anybody tries the door! Because I am the same about those cubicles as you! If I do lock it, I practice box breathing to keep me calm.

Thank you both. I will check for the coin/opening from now on @Robotnik That’s really helpful.

@CreakyDormouse I get so frustrated with myself. Well done on being able to use the lock sometimes and control your breathing - I want to build up to that. Sometimes I am able to but at the moment because of some life stresses it seems to feel impossible..!

I am exactly the same and many times have done the pushing the door to thing with the lock showing engaged.. I also don't like lifts for the same reason

I got stuck in a loo on holiday when I was 6/7 so always have a slight fear of being trapped inside. I always triple check the locks, usually only just closing a tiny bit them before committing to the loo.

I'm the same. I now try the lock before closing the door fully to make sure it works, then lock the door properly and then quickly unlock it, so I know it works. Then I lock the door and do what I've got to do but unlock it as soon as I can. Not ideal but saves me asking someone to come to toilet with me!

Thank you guys. Although I’m sorry others feel this way too it makes me feel less alone with it!

I know there’s no other way to move forwards other than to force myself to try locking the doors, as an exposure therapy, and I have been considering hypnotherapy or EMDR. It frustrates me so much to feel controlled by something like this!

Try CBT (therapy). You can get a referral from your GP if your in the UK or possibly even self refer but it was life changing for me

Oh my goodness OP! I am exactly the same. I don't mind locks where the lock is attached externally but get really freaked out by either key locks or integrated locks as you describe. I quite often put a bag in front of the door. I was always claustrophic but it got worse after I was diagnosed with serious illness and had to spend time lying completely flat (no pillows) in hospital for weeks and then having lots of scans etc.. I think it is linked with a lack of control after feeling completely helpless. You are not alone!

Oh that’s heartening @OnHisSweaterAlreadyMomsSpaghetti - were you also dealing with claustrophobia?

@atotalshambles There are a few of us around it seems! I’m sorry to hear about your illness and hope you’re on a path to recovery.

I had the same thing happen to me on holiday once too - somehow it automatically locked itself (these ones had really strange locks) and then it could only be unlocked by a special key that was held by reception. The loo itself was tiny and I was banging for what seemed like hours before someone finally found the key and unlocked the door for me. I was a quivering mess and I've hated enclosed spaces like loos and lifts ever since.

I tend to do what someone before mentioned about trying the lock before properly closing it and only closing it we much as needed. Ironically I suffer from a shy bladder at times and so all enclosed toilets tend to be better for me in that respect, but I do occasionally worry about getting stuck in them at times stilll.

Claustrophobia is such a horrible thing to have to live with!

Oh god @MoonlightMemories how awful. I too was stuck in a small loo once - it was a turn key which snapped in the lock after I turned it! 😱 I banged on the door (I was at work, years ago) and someone had to get a toolkit and free me! Nightmare.

Although I can be claustraphobic I have never felt like that in a loo, but have had trouble with 2 loos in a shopping mall. Both had dodgy locks and one kept moving around without opening, the other one did not have a handle or much of a lock and you actually had to put your feet under the door to draw it to you iyswim!

A couple of years ago, I was in a local, and quite trendy (if that is the word) department store. The loos were designer, high-end toilets. The lock looked like it had been designed by Philippe Starck. I was stuck in there for only 5 or so minutes, but the walls (zig zag design) and floor (black and white tiles) were closing in on me from all angles. I still have nightmares about frantically trying to escape😁

My mums 67 she still won't use public toilets if there is a certain lock.

She won't use lifts. Even when pregnant with twins she climbed 12 lots.

I got stuck in a loo at a Spanish airport. I managed in my mangled Spanish to get someone to let me out.

Triple check loo doors before using them now!

This happened to me - it was a long time ago in the days when you put a penny (pre decimalisation, that's how long ago it was) in a slot to open the door. I had a huge panic attack and for a long time after my mum had to stand outside the door with a spare penny to open the door incase it happened again.

Nowadays I'm more perturbed by doors where the lock is broken and I worry about someone opening it on me while I'm in mid wee.

I'm the same! Can we form a support group?

I've given up trying to cure it and just wedge it shut with my bag and hope for the best.

I also don't use closed in lifts, glass lifts are fine.

Thanks everyone. @NuffSaidSam yes let’s form a support group!

My work toilets are particularly bad. I am thinking of getting a little sign saying ‘engaged’ to put on the outside when I use a cubicle!

Ps I’m fine with glass lifts too but not the enclosed kind. It does seem to go against human nature, to have those awful metal boxes!

Following with interest, as I have this problem too op. Would love to hear if anyone has managed to overcome this. I always double check the lock several times before shutting the door completely. I have a particular fear of the type of toilets on some trains, where the lock is a push button.

I'm exactly the same. So glad to have found this thread and realised that I'm not alone! People in real life look at me as if I'm mad if I mention it. My mum is very sympathetic and will 'guard' doors for me when we're out together, but obviously that isn't very often.
I find myself getting so frustrated in these situations, both with myself for having the problem, and with manufacturers/businesses for installing these types of locks. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned sliding bolt? Or one of those flip bar things that hold the door in place?

I feel sorry for young children using the toilets alone and having difficulties. I was in a small cafe a couple of years ago and a boy around 10 had gone off to the loo. He must have tried to unlock the door and thought he was stuck because he just completely panicked - screaming and banging on the door. His mum and the staff eventually got him out but he was shaking and crying, poor thing. It turned out he had been turning the lock the wrong way and because it was a 'hidden' lock he thought it wasn't working and just panicked.

My issues stemmed from being trapped in a lift, now I'm just wary of all situations where I perceive I can be 'trapped' - so toilets, tube tunnels etc. Its not really the same as claustrophobia for me, as I don't mind small spaces as such, as long as I know I can leave them!

I’ve found my people 🤗

Exactly the same as everyone else. Hate confined spaces of any kind! Hate public toilets and hate lifts - won’t use the latter ever!

@Allthebears Totally relate. God knows why the safer and easier kind of toilets and locks are becoming less common. I get so frustrated with my own phobia and wish I could overcome it. I have had periods where I haven’t been bothered by these things but not for some time.

Hi @Normalnot ! It’s so good to hear about everyone else’s experiences with this although I sorely wish none of us had to feel this way.