I am struggling so much at the moment. I've never felt so lonely in my life. I've had a really difficult few years living with Long COVID. It's changed my life in so many ways. I don't leave the house or see my friends much. I don't have a partner. I don't think I'll ever have children. I'm in my early thirties.
Recently I've been having chronic pain for a few months too. In my back and arm and neck and hands. I was diagnosed with hypermobile EDS. There's not really any treatment and the pain gets me down so much. On top of the fatigue and post-exertional malaise.
It's hard to believe this is my life now. Sometimes it feels like a bad dream. I try really hard to keep my spirits up. But I feel so disconnected to everyone around me. Because it's been this way for 3 years now. I have nothing to look forward to. All my ambitions ruined. Just endless days of managing my health and symptoms. Doctor's appointments. Assessing pain levels. Trying desperately to find new solutions. No achievements. No accomplishments. No interesting weekend plans. Nothing to talk about. Nothing to update anyone on.
My life was relatively good and problem-free before all this. I did well in education, became a solicitor. I now only work 2 days a week and haven't progressed at all since the pandemic. I'd never endured any real hardship beyond the normal things, before getting sick I have supportive parents for which I'm so grateful. But nothing feels like enough anymore. I feel a constant dread upon waking. I rarely feel joy. I feel so, so worthless.
I don't know what I'm asking really. I don't want to spread doom and gloom. I stay away from chronic illness communities because I don't want to believe it'll never get better.
I guess I'm interested to know whether anyone else has any experiences of really struggling with their health for months of years. And then regaining a decent quality of life eventually. I wish I could just feel well. Even just sometimes. Even just half the week.
I'm sorry for my rant. Hope everyone is doing fine.