I don’t think there is a solution to this one. Just venting after the recent round of bt shttery.
SIL has never left home. Works, no partner, MIL has said (unprompted) they are ND. Extremely bothered about cleanliness, to the point it interferes with normal life.
SIL is extremely judgmental, has to comment harshly on everything and is very controlling. To the point they have essentially stopped PIL having much relationship with DGC. Visiting is painful. DH avoids rather than confronting. We have politely left early on some of the few occasions we visited. If you met DH and i, I hope we would come across as uptogether, presentable and professional. Feel like we are treated like lepers when we visit. For example, DGC asked to change clothes before coming in the house (preteen and getting out the car, not toddlers coming in from a muddy walk). Not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen - if we want a glass of water we would have to ask someone to bring it. Etc. etc. Some of it is childish in the attempt to create a difficult situation. Staying at Easter and some of the decorations put up by SIL had been made by DH’s college girlfriend (she studied art, broke up a long time before we met, no feelings on his past from me). One was a picture with her name written in the corner. Not upset, just weirded out a bit. If we visit we have to put up with the reactive stuff, ridiculous rules and what feels like bt sht stirring.
How do the parents not call them out in this case? As PIL get older it seems like they have enabled a bad situation where it will be difficult for SIL in the future.