Using partner/spouses debit/credit card.

[Triangulation]

Morning,

would you use your spouses/partners credit or debit card without asking first?

I would, and wouldn’t need to tell him or replace the money spent.

But given our set up I’m more likely to just transfer money out of his account and into mine (also without telling him) if I needed money and it wasn’t in my account.

I wouldn't, but he'd be fine with it if I did. I'd be annoyed if he used mine though - although I'd probably pretend it was ok unless it was for something very expensive. We have separate finances.

I use DH's debit and credit cards as my main spending methods, with his prior agreement. The debit card is for an account that he doesn't use, we both use the credit card.

I'd only use his other debit/credit cards in an emergency with no other option - I can't think when that might be necessary as I have other debit/credit cards of my own. But if I did need to, he'd have no problem with it (and vice versa).

I always use dh’s cards. I do all of our finances abs move money between accounts. He has no clue and isn’t interested. I’ve just balanced transfers 2k of debt from my card to one in his name- I didn’t ask first as he’s happy for me to just sort it! I suppose every relationship has its own parameters

We have a joint account as well as our own and I can't imagine a set of circumstances that would mean I needed to use DH's card BUT if there was some sort of emergency that meant I had to and was unable to tell him first I doubt he would have an issue with it.
If we weren't married and didn't have joint finances I wouldn't unless it was life or death

This.

@Triangulation Why are you asking, has something happened?

No. But in 30+ years, neither of us have ever needed to use the other's card, so it's very simple.

Yes, it's all the same

We have a joint account and credit card as well as our own. I wouldn't use a card for his personal account without asking. I can't imagine a scenario when I would need to.

Same.

My DH has had my debit card for ages. He taps that on the vending machine at work, and I tap my phone when I need to use it.

I could imagine a situation where I would, and it wouldn't be a problem. I'd try to use his joint account card so it was easier, but I'd just pay him back later if I could only find his personal one. In reality, his wallet lives in his pocket so the chances of me using his card without asking is minimal.

That’s for a spouse situation where I know all his finances. If it were just in a relationship with someone and didn’t share finances or financial info, I would never do it or expect them to do it to me.

Depends on the relationship and financial circumstances and what it was for.
I used my DPs card for deliveroo (it goes through instantly without even seeing the card number) from a previous time he had paid and he wasn't impressed. Genuine error but I can see why he thought it was an invasion of privacy.

I think it’s a little odd that he had sn issue with that in those circumstances

Yes but our finances are completely joint and shared. If we maintained separate finances then I wouldn't and neither would he.

If it was an emergency, yes.

I would always ask out of consideration though - we have separate accounts and finances.