Distancing myself from adult Dd

[Ddagain22]

I feel like I Need to distance myself mentally and emotionally from Dd. I just can't do it anymore . 4+ fucking years its been going on. I can't do it anymore it's fucking me up.

Shes not going to listen she's just going to liar. And do what she chooses even if its wrong.

Physically I will be there I will still babysit. See them almost every day on the school run.

When dd calls me because things have fucked up I will be there.

But I have to distance myself as well because I can't do this anymore I really can't.

Sorry probably makes no sense what so ever

Do you want to talk a little more about what's going on and see if anyone has solutions? Or do you just fancy a vent and some sympathy?

Having adult dc is so tricky to navigate sometimes, nobody really prepares you for it 💐

I distanced myself from adult ds when he was clearly on drugs one Christmas.. Ruined the day and assaulted his small sibling. . Previously declared he had been treated for cancer whilst wresting on the floor with ds... Sometimes it really isn't unreasonable to self preserve..
Well wishes to you op.

What’s been going on?

OP. I know what you mean. I am in a similar position. DD presents us with fait accompli so even if we think her choices are bananas we don't say anything, as there is no point.

Sounds tough @Ddagain22

We're here if you want to vent/shout/cry. Sending you a hug.

I made a thread a few days back. I don't have the emotional energy to explain it all. Or the energy to bring that thread up again. But it does explain some stuff. I think I'm putting things in separate boxes emotionally/mentally and today. Its me being selfish on that side of things.

There's nothing wrong with being selfish op.

Do what you need to do to protect yourself.

You sound absolutely done with the situation, and you can't keep giving more and more of yourself to someone who doesn't appreciate it. You'll have nothing left.

I’ve read the other thread. You absolutely do have to separate from your dd emotionally

If she has got back with her ex you need to contact social service to get ahead of the curve. Focus on your grandchildren because they will take them I’ve seen it happen to two women.

I know . 💐

Yeah. I'm not done with Dd but with the situation. In truth I'm not done with the situation. But I do need to distance myself over something I can't control . And just be there for my grandsons.

I have NC but i need to do the same op before i act on walking away for good.

I hope your OK. I will never actually walk away. But I do need to back of mentally/emotionally. And pray to God Gs di not end up in the care system.

I hope your OK 💐

Thank you im okay no gran children thankfully.
It a mix of things both adults now both still at home just so much going on.
And i do sit and think fuck it ill go and live my life.
I wont do it because i always think they need me.

Yeah I get that. I still have young children at home. Plus adult children not at home and 2 GS. Sometimes I feel like stop the world I want to get off. But then you can't can you . Not really.

I saw dd on school run this morning. When we were on the bus she said I seem quite and off. Thing is i do feel of with her I feel anger and sad at the same time.

I did point out to her that a few days back she had started shouting saying how she has already spoken to social services regarding her ex seeing baby . And they had said he can see baby once he sorts his mental health out as long as Dd supervises the visit. Only she changed it as its meant to be her ex mum supervising not dd. . When I mentioned it this morning dd said she does not know why she said that. She did not realise she did. Must have been an accident due to stress.