Reached my limit with DD17

[Chark99]

I think that’s it, and I have finally had it. DD can be the sweetest and nicest girl in the world but she is absolutely mind bogglingly stupid and impulsive when she drinks and she keeps making horrendous choices.
This is not a new phenomenon, and has been more or less consistent for the last 2 years. I know that this is likely stemmed in low self esteem (and I have tried to help, but she doesn’t want it), but she will do anything to be liked and get attention, and she hurts herself even more as a result of it.

Something again happened last night, and I am not sure what it is. She doesn’t want to tell me or talk to me, so I have left her alone for now. She had told her younger sister something and she is upset because she promised not to tell me. So whatever happened now also causes distress to her sister.
Yes, I know that she is almost an adult and that I need to give her space, but I honestly don’t think that she knows how to keep herself safe and happy. I know that I am ranting and raving now, and that I sound horrible, but I am just at the end of my tether today and I just need to vent. It’s always the same, and it always ends up with her being upset and and regretting her actions until the next time.
Seriously, when does this end!!

She’s not an adult she’s a child. Why did she start drinking at 15 and who is supplying her alcohol now?

Under age drinking is not a new phenomenon
where is she getting the drink from? It’s been going on a while
did her drinking starting coincide with anything traumatic ?

Another one who is wondering how a 17yo has been able to afford a drinking habit?

Where does she get the money from?

She's 17 and been drinking for 2 years? That's not ok!
But regardless she's actually still a child, she's made a stupid decision or maybe done something to put herself in danger because she's a child and her brain isn't fully developed yet.
Maybe it wasn't her fault at all, you sound like you're victim blaming tbh.
Aren't you concerned about what's happened and making sure she's ok?

I assume those fretting about teens drinking don't have teenagers themselves? It's not a new thing, they drink at parties, at each other's houses, they have part time jobs to buy cheap cider. Whatever, that's not the issue here.

Yes thank you. Of course teens find a way to access alcohol if they want to - she did not get any supply at home. All I’m saying is that there is a pattern and that she is very much taking risks to her own health and well-being..

She sounds like a standard teenager to me. Practice some self calming techniques, remember "this too shall pass" and speak with compassion.

It is ok and it is normal. It's how they push their boundaries safely.

And of course I am concerned about what happened. I’m just frustrated

Its not ok for her to involve her sister and then tell her not to tell you, so you could put a boundary in place for her there.