Dyspraxia diagnosis - is there any point?

[WellErrr]

I am fairly certain my 7 year old has dyspraxia. She is incredibly clumsy and accident prone, and really struggles with things like holding a pencil or knife and fork correctly. She also had a neurological condition as an infant which predisposes them to conditions such as dyspraxia.

She is mad keen, like obsessed, with on one particular sport, and puts everything into it. But is not really improving and is becoming frustrated at times. She is a very determined child though, and just keeps going with it.

My dilemma is - is there any point? Apart from giving her a label, what will a diagnosis achieve? She has never had it hinted to her that she is different, and bar a few hazy memories of hospitals she doesn’t know about her neuro condition. It never felt right to tell her and I don’t want her thinking she’s different, or to have a reason in her head that she ‘can’t’ do things. At the moment she thinks she’s fairly invincible and doesn’t lack in confidence in any way.

I just want to do the right thing for her, and I’m not sure what that is.

My son has dyspraxia and dyslexia and for him it offered him more support in school such as a laptop

Personally I would seek diagnosis if it’ll help access help at school, including when she is a teen. Gcses are tonnes of handwriting, for example.

My son is diagnosed dyspraxic. He gets extra time for assessments, use of a computer for extended writing and knows why his progress at sports is slow. His diagnosis helps people be patient and supportive.

I'm not diagnosed. I'm just beyond shit at sport and "lazy".

DS is better off for having the diagnosis.

Extra time, laptop in exams

i am absolutely certain my ds12 is dyspraxic - he ticks every box. However, we’ve been on the waiting list for over 2 years now to get him assessed.

Despite not having a diagnosis his school have assessed him themselves and he has had a scribe and extra time in exams and also is allowed to type longer pieces of work.
School should be working on need rather than diagnosis, especially with waiting lists as they are currently!

I paid £550 for the private assessment after Year5 teacher said he couldn't read my son's handwriting. Up to that point everyone said he would grow out of it which i knew was rubbish. My son got specialist help after diagnosis and his handwriting improved dramatically. He is now doing GCSEs in top sets. Dyspraxic people are often very academic, probably because they are rubbish at sports. I am a proud dyspraxic myself. I don't consider myself disabled, just neuro diverse. Knowledge is power in my books. I know my strong points and my limitations. These is a reason dyspraxic people survived through evolution. Dyspraxic people tend to be very hatdworking, motivated and thinking outside the box. Neither my son nor myself have any medical hx. Amazon has lots of books on dyspraxia. I hope it helps

If she is 'different' though, then she is - and no amount of pretending otherwise will change that. Why does different have to be bad? Just tell her matter of factly one day like it's no big deal and that's the message she will get. Knowing she is dyspraxic might help her to understand why she is finding it more difficult than others to progress in her sport. Praise her effort and determination, but encourage her to enjoy what she is doing.
DS has dyspraxia and has used a laptop during secondary school because of it.

Our DC (8) has only just received a diagnosis but I’m glad we have as the OT report from the assessment has been great in terms of practical suggestions for things we can do to help him and really nailing down what his motor issues are and what could help with these.

Worth it for the extra time in exams, using a computer instead of writing, etc. Better to pre-empt that now than realise it was necessary after a tough exam. Personally I really like having an explanation for my clumsiness and lack of manual dexterity rather than just feeling like I’m shit at everything, which is how I did feel pre-diagnosis.

Internally she may feel incredibly stupid for not " getting it " and lots of us with late diagnosis can confirm we never voiced these frustrations to parents, usually because they were already disparaging us and our attempts.

To me you sound subconsciously abelist and you need to work on why you are holding quite important health information from your child.
Perhaps you can speak to the schools SENCO about finding a pathway forward to help both you and your DD, I'd also look for some therapy to help with your prejudice.

It will help with access to support in school. While that might not be needed right now it may come up later.

But I do think kids have a right to know this stuff. There will be some things they just won't be able to do and having a known reason for it really does help you deal with it. I spent many years secretly worried something was wrong with me even though I never shared my concerns with my parents. Finding out they knew the whole time what was going on but "didn't want to label me" broke a lot of trust and it took over a decade to rebuild it.

Years of beating myself up alone in bed at night for not trying hard enough and believing I was just lazy took a toll on my mental health. When in reality I was trying to do the impossible - I wasn't struggling to pay attention to the teacher and follow instructions because I was lazy. I was deaf and couldn't fucking hear them.

Thank you so much for the helpful replies. I will get her assessed.
We all just want the best for our children, but it can be hard to know what that is when you’ve only the 100000 useless thoughts flying round your own head to sift through.

Much appreciated, thank you.

Just be warned - unless you’re able to go private it will likely be a long wait to get assessed. As I mentioned in my earlier post we’ve been waiting over 2 years now.

I got my fella assessed and it's made a massive difference. We focussed on activities where he focuses on his body like swimming, horse riding and gymnastics. Extra help in school, better understanding of what his brain struggles with. We reframe certain requests. It's helps with our frustration levels. Also his teacher pointed out that at 8 he's keeping up but as writing volumes increase he may struggle so best to be ahead of it. They also suggested that some kids struggle socially because physical play is so important at their stage for friendship building so to be aware of that. I'd say the biggest change with the diagnosis has been our attitudes towards him. I'm ashamed of how we were before. We weren't abusive or anything extreme but so frustrated and impatient with what we perceived as a lack of care. Which in hindsight was the dyspraxia as opposed to laziness.

Would you feel the same about other diagnosis?
Getting a diagnosis is not getting a "label", it's about ensuring they have the support necessary.
My son has dyspraxia and he is now allowed to type work instead of write and have extra time in exams.
It also means the child can understand themselves better and not think that they are stupid, rubbish at stuff etc.

Definitely. The traits will become more evident with age and restrict her ability to learn and write exam. Learning support strategies and exam access arrangements can help.

It really depends on your daughter and her personality. It is possible that having a "label" may not help her much if she isn't affected by the dyspraxia severely, but it also may help her get the support she needs to reach her full potential.

For me, growing up unaware that I had dyspraxia destroyed my confidence. I didn't understand why I was different and finding things more difficult than other children. It felt as though everyone else was just "better" than me and I didn't know why. I still have an inferiority complex to this day. Personally I would get her assessed. But you know your daughter better than me.

I would think when she’s older she’s more likely (obviously maybe not as well) to thank you that she knows where her issues or difficulties with certain things come from. Life is hard when you literally just think you’re behind everyone and feel like everyone find everything easier

Both of mine are dyspraxic. Helped them understand why their writing was crap which gave them more confidence and also the laptops in exams were a godsend - their writing is so much slower than their peers. DS 1 also received a laptop, screen, printer and software through DSA at uni.

Diagnosis was helpful for both my DDs as teens. Gave them an explanation as to why they struggled with things, and also the 'label' helped explain to others.

Can I just ask some of the posters on here if you got a private diagnosis, or if NHS, how long did it take you to get? We got referred in May 2022 and still waiting.

Slightly different but when my son got his diagnosis for dyslexia a couple of years ago, it totally changed him. He went from believing that he was stupid, to finally having a reason for not being able to read / spell etc. and being far behind his peers.
It actually helped him to focus on schoolwork a lot more, with a positive outlook, and he's now a brilliant reader and has improved a lot with his spelling. He's now at 'expected standard' for English in reading, writing and comprehension (minus the actual spelling which he's still behind with) - previously he was 2.5 years behind in all parts of English. His self esteem has sky-rocketed and he now knows he's clever, but just a bit different. Good luck x

Definitely do it. I wish I had done it sooner. I asked for her to be assessed for dyspraxia, it took over 12 months as they referred us to the wrong department initially.

The "label" is the only thing that will get them the help that they need. DD spent years with teachers telling her that she needed to try harder and put more effort in, when she was struggling to comprehend and remember what they were saying.

My DD is 16 now and was officially diagnosed with DCD (Dyspraxia) earlier this year. She had been struggling since primary school and they refused to help, putting it all down to the family breakup. The Consultant has also referred her for an ADHD assessment as well, but there is a huge waiting list for that.

In Y9 I asked for her to be assessed for exam arrangements and she was given extra time and laptop use. She also started showing signs of dyslexia. I am getting an assessment for that shortly.

I wish I had pushed more in primary because she may have got an EHCP .

She is getting extra help at College and could qualify for financial help at Uni with an official diagnosis of both.

yes i believe so, assessed by OT and confirmed by paeds, i believe
helps in all aspects of education, up to university

forgot to say - GP referred to OT, specialist Paediatric physio and Paediatric Consultant. OT or Physio does the DCD assessment, Consultant reads reports and makes diagnosis.