Help me - sofas are minging with wee stains

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We got our sofas second hand from family when we moved as we didn’t have money for new ones. So they were already tatty and (no offence Dad) quite old fashioned and ugly.

DD is ND and potty training is a process. She started in October and can go weeks without an accident and then have weeks where she wees frequently on the sofas.

ive paid to have them cleaned. I’ve tried lining them with incontinence but they slip off. I’ve tried using a mattress protector but it just pooled and spilled the wee across other parts of the sofa. I constantly scrub it with pet cleaner. You can’t sit on them anymore because your clothes will smell like stale piss so we are constantly rotating big blankets on them.

I hate it. I find it triggering as we grew up poor and sometimes smelled and I’m terrified that it’s making us and our house smell. Friends/family assure us they can’t smell it but that’s because I spend ages prepping the sofas in advance with cleaning and blankets.

I avoid having people over because of it and it just makes me hate being home tbh.

i desperately want to buy new sofas but DH says it’s pointless until she’s totally potty trained because the same thing will happen to them. I told him that she may NEVER be completely dry.

what’s the solution here? Even when they were professionally cleaned they couldn’t get all of it out because it’s upholstered and I guess in the stuffing off the sofa.

advice / tips appreciated!

Perhaps get your daughter a 'special' chair to sit on. That is washable, or has washable covers?

Is it just the cushion part you sit on? You can get something cut I'm sure from a foam place, I'm sure my MIL has done this before for making seat cushions where the foam has degraded
Good luck! I think your DH is right though - perhaps also get a
Separate chair for her if she doesn't get dry where you can have something suitable for covering it

Have you thought of puppy pads? They might help.

I have seen shaving foam gets rid of wee stains and smells on mattresses. That might work?
could you get whatever sofa if free from gumtree or FB marketplace for now until you can get a decent one?

try a carpet shampooer machine? Can you borrow one and try it out, then buy one if it works? I have one and it has helped with cat wee on the carpet, which I had trouble with before. The thing is with professional cleaners is they do it once, and that is your lot for your money, but if you have the machine in your hand yourself, you can go over and over the problem area until you are satisfied.

or what happens if you just take your sofa cushions to a laundrette with a really big machine and put them through a wash?

i'm

Usually so many free sofas on market place. So grab one of those

Then get a special chair for dd. With a wee pad on it and that's her seat

Wee does linger so even once cleaned it has so asked through so prob do need to get rid of sofas

But replacing doesn't have to cost

I would skim gumtree or Facebook for free or cheap sofas - you’d be surprised what people give away. Factor in the cost of a van. Set your search area to include posher areas. It’s a less good time of year for sofas but you may well find something. Removable covers a bonus.
I would take the cushion covers off & put the incontinence pads between the cushion and it’s cover.
did you get the towelling mattress protectors? Or just waterproof. IKEA do quite cheap towelling covered ones which help stop the pooling effect.
sympathies.
woild putting her in towelling potty training pants help at all?

You could get a £300 faux leather sofa from Argos?

Does your sofa have removable covers? If so place a bed mat under the cover so it can’t move and any wees only go on the washable cover.

My ds weed on a leather sofa with fixed covers and it soaked into the foam. I did wash it straight away as best I could and redid it on a sunny day had DH help haul it outside to the garden in the hope that helped.

Can you put the cushions out in the sun for a while? We kept a fleecy blanket on sofa with a towel under when DC were potty training. Easier to wash.

You might not be able to afford a new sofa, but secondhand from eBay, gumtree etc might be doable? Leatherette might be easier to keep clean than fabric, or if fabric see if you can get washable covers. Especially if your DC might have ongoing problems with it.

We used fabric cleaning spray and 1001 stain cleaner stuff when DC were potty training, smells never lingered that long. A few drops of tea tree oil can also freshen up smells.

You say your daughter is ND - has she been officially diagnosed? Have you thought about claiming DLA or applying to the Family Fund for a grant? There may also be local charities that give grants for this sort of thing so it maybe worth speaking to your local Children with Disabilities Team (there should be details on your council website).

I'm on team op (not dh) - get new sofas. Life is too short to endure bad smells etc "until she's potty trained".

Get new sofas and ramp up your protective measures. Instead of incontinence pads, use one of those waterproof mattress covers and wrap it all around the sofa seat cushion, then a blanket/throw on top. Alternatively, wrap each sofa seat cushion in a clear bin bag then stick a throw/blanket on top. If necessary, with an old towel in between.

Edit to add - I used to wee on the sofa when I was a kid, even until I was relatively old (say, 4/5yo). So I get it, honestly

The Astonish upholstery cleaner spray is great if you haven’t tried

When DD was going through a weeing on the sofa phase, we used a fitted waterproof undersheet from IKEA on the seat cushions. Because it was fitted, it stayed put. And it could just be chucked in the wash and then tumble dried.

New sofas with washable covers, ikea are good :Compromise

Try a carpet cleaner machine.

I agree with DH, don't get new sofas until it's completely resolved, they'll only get wrecked too.

You can get waterproof sofa protection covers that just slip on over the whole sofa, some for under £30 - might be worth a look?

Thank you SO much for the kind and helpful replies!!! Some really good tips here - THANK YOU!

We used washable bed pads when my disabled son was not quite fully continent. Easy to wash and reasonably cheap.

Have you tried the enzyme sprays used for puppy training? Worked a treated when DD did a wee over an expensive rug when potty training.

This cleaning solution also worked wonders:

Simple Solution Urine Destroyer Enzymatic Cleaner | Pet Stain and Odour Remover with Pro-bacteria Cleaning Power - 1 Ltr https://amzn.eu/d/7RWbn4z

These were good for.spot cleaning:

Dr. Beckmann Pet Stain & Odour Remover, Eliminates stains and odours caused by pets, incl. applicator brush, 650 ml https://amzn.eu/d/5d0ToIv

Simple Solution Pet Stain and Odour Remover | Enzymatic Cleaner with Pro-Bacteria Cleaning Power |Rainforest Fresh 750ml https://amzn.eu/d/hGZTObV

I second the Dr beckmann one. It for pets but frankly, wee is wee. It saved our sofa during potty training!

We have two ND children one in nappies and one partly toilet trained. In the end we have had to get rid of carpets for hard floors and gone for leather/fake leather sofas as we were sick of the urine smell.

Simple Solution Extreme works really well on dog and cat pee and I gave my Mum a bottle but decanted into a clear bottle* to use when my Dad was being diagnosed with prostrate cancer as he kept having little accidents and it worked really well on their mattress and carpet.

*He was very embarrassed by it all and I thought if he saw Mum using the same spray I used when toilet training the dogs he would be offended.

That sounds stressful OP.

As others have said, get some enzyme urine spray. I've just recently had to use one extensively and it absolutely definitely works really well. It will tide you over until you decide on a more permanent solution.

Urine Eliminator - 500ml - Rug Doctor

I don't think washable covers would be the answer, because wouldn't the wee just soak through to the stuffing?
Once you have managed to get the smell out of the furniture with one of those elininator pet sprays how about covering the whole lot with a waterproof mattress cover, then putting a washable throw over that?