Posted in30 days but hardly any activity there and really need feedback.
DH has a shop. A woman has recently started part time. He’s gone to hers after work a few times for 2-3 hours. He says it’s because she’s suffering from anxiety (rape and abuse survivor) and he wants to help. Also he doesn’t want to lose staff.
I suffer from depression too (raped 24 years ago, before I met DH). I feel suicidal pretty regularly: I told DH once 6 years ago- he said if I wasn’t enough to make me happy he’d leave and I didn’t mention if again. But now I’m jealous of his staff member.because she is worth his time and sympathy but I’m not.
He also has customers/ friends going through similar and finds time for them, yet I feel so alone.
I tried talking to him and got told he can’t afford to lose the staff/ business. Why should I be the affordable loss? Or is it just that he knows I won’t leave (I won’t: I love him; we have dc; I can’t admit I’m just not enough for him; I have no one else and am not likeable enough to have friends)
I was just crying I bed (trying not to-but it’s hard) and he woke up and said “I don’t want to sound heartless but could you stop crying- it woke me up and I have work tomorrow “
I don’t have a question, or need a reply . Just needed to get it out and have no one irl (probably with good reason, I just don’t know what it is!)