Teen DS and addiction - terrified

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Apologies posting here for traffic...

I have worried for a few years that DS (18) has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but (clearly incorrectly) just passed it off as standard teen behaviour.

It has spiralled over the last year with binging stealing alcohol, binging and massive changes in his mood.

He went to uni last September and things have spiralled - I had reports of him locking himself in his room for days, crying, threatening to jump out of a window.
He Came home last month and refused to open up to me but agreed to see the GP who put him on low level Fluoxetine.

He has a summer job but I have observed him constantly buying wine/beer and disappearing off to his room. He is erratic and frankly a nightmare to be around. DD can't bear to be around him .

This evening he came out of his room (clearly drunk) and told me he is an alcoholic, that apparently "it's genetic" as FiL was a drinker and there's nothing he can or wants to do about it.
He admitted to also using coke and weed extensively at uni.
He admitted as much to being "totally fucked up" but won't elaborate.

I am beyond terrified and have no clue how to help him. He refuses to talk to anyone or get counselling and says it is what it is. Honestly feel that going back to uni in Sep is the last thing he should be doing but just don't know where to go with this.

Mine and DH's marriage is on the brink of divorce and I'm so worried that this could tio DS right over the edge.

You and your dh need to pull together and get him into rehab. That's if he is willing. I feel for you and hope he agrees..

Uni should have something in place to support students with their mental health/addiction? Have you talked to your son about reaching out to them? Can you persuade him to try getting some help? Can you try spending more time with him to help to bring up his self esteem? Good luck op 💐

So sorry to hear this OP, it sounds worrying for you and sounds like your DS is having a really tough time.
Did the GP offer anything in addition to fluoxetine? Talking therapies referral? It is still worth taking an antidepressant while he is drinking but its effectiveness may be reduced so some talking support would also be helpful.
Your local drug & alcohol service could offer an assessment and help if he is willing, but now he is over 18 he will likely need to seek this himself.
Tbh it could be that the alcohol, coke and weed use is a symptom of him finding life very tough (which would be developmentally understandable), he's covid generation I'm guessing for that key social time in his life and may have missed opportunities to develop other ways of coping with all of the stuff that teenagers have to deal with in mid to late teens.
As others have said, student mental health services should be well practised in dealing with these kinds of issues and many will have link workers with the local drug and alcohol organisation. May be worth exploring over the summer what they could offer to help make the decision about whether he goes back or not.
Good luck.
The Young minds website is helpful if you haven't looked before.

He needs to go to rehab. My bf's 19 year old DD went into a NHS facility for 7 days to detox. Four years later she is sober and happy.

This is him coming to you and seeking your help.
It’s a natural reaction to be terrified. But you need to put that aside and get him some help. With your DH. Join together and you can help him.
if he needs some time off from uni that can be arranged. But rehab first.

Get him into rehab quick smart. Protect his sister.

probably not at the forefront of you mind, but if he is not returning to uni in september, cancel the student finance - so he can pick it up again later- if the fees get paid for a year he doesn't turn up for, he won't get them back, and he will lose a whole year of finance.

Hi OP he's right it runs in families, for him to know this he's been researching it.

Firstly I'm so sorry, for someone as young as this to get addicted to alcohol is horrendous for all you.

There's a couple of good things here. The first is he's realised what he is, he's also been researching it and likely doesn't want to be in this position, no matter what he says.

You need to reach out for help from health care services, well he does. He can start going to AA meetings.

When he says totally fucked up does he mean the drinking and drugs or something else?

The thing is though you can't actually do anything it's all got to be him and that is the worst thing as a parent.

I would provide tough love in this situation if I'm honest. Alcoholics need to hit rock bottom before they finally want help which for him would be better if it was sooner rather than later.