How to get along with groups of strangers on holiday?

[PrettySenior]

This will sound absolutely pathetic but here goes anyway. I've been on 3 organised group holidays for single people and on each one I haven't got along very well with the group. On the first one a strong character took a dislike to me and bullied me. On the second a similar thing happened. On the third a group of the men were talking about cheating on their wives and I told them they should be ashamed of themselves. They avoided me after that 😂.

I don't know whether this is bad luck or whether it's me. I'm usually quiet and soft spoken and quite an anxious person but when someone's behaviour isn't right I tend to say something and it escalates. In my regular life I have quite a few friends and get along well with most of my colleagues also. But it's different somehow with these holidays.

I now want to go on another one. It's an activity holiday and my DH isn't fit enough to be able to go with me, and my friends.either couldn't afford to or wouldn't want to go. I'm obviously worried about the social aspects.

Any tips on how to just get along with everyone for once please?

I don't know but where do you find these holidays?

Thanks for responding.I've found them advertised on line by tour companies.

I would avoid 'singles' group holidays. Something like Exodus or HF holidays you will find a mix of couples, friend groups and singles with a common interest. I don;t know much about Exodus as I've never travelled with them but HF there will normally be around 25 people on the holiday so if you don't get on with one group of people there are always others.

On these holidays if you want to get along it does help to accept that people have different views of manners and what is right.

Can't comment on the first two, but if you say to people they should be ashamed of themselves then they are going to avoid you.

A certain level of diplomacy is required. (I don't really have it either)

Agree with avoiding groups aimed at "singles". I've done a few with a general tour group and paid a single supplement. Worked fine but there will always be one or two who get on your nerves. They probably thought the same of me!

I prefer to travel solo, but some destinations really require a guide IMO of course, to get the best out of the place in a short time.

Thank you. I guess I should have explained these are holidays for solo travellers rather than singles but I take the point. And yes I definitely need to be more diplomatic next time and avoid the ones who annoy me rather than call them out!

I would look at more tailored holidays for a particular interest if you have one? Or just book one on your own and you can choose to interact with people you are drawn to? X

Agree with going with an operator like Exodus or Explore, where it's a mix of solo travellers, couples, friends etc. I've been on several of them and have never seen any bullying, just occasional minor spats. Just be diplomatic - if someone isn't your cup of tea just try and keep out of their way. You are there to be on holiday, not argue.

You describing two very different situations, though — on two holidays, you say a ‘strong character’ took a dislike to you and bullied you, and on another you called out men boasting about being unfaithful, and they subsequently avoided you. The bullying isn’t your fault, obviously — unless your remark about how to ‘get on better’ with people on a future holiday/the calling out cheaters suggests you feel you contributed to someone taking a dislike to you by your own behaviour?

Surely everyone isn’t going to get along with total strangers? It wouldn’t work for me, I know — my SIL and BIL just returned from a group tour of a Vietnam and Cambodia, and while they are friendly, easygoing types who have made lifelong friends on cruises and similar group tours, on this one there were a couple of people they found very difficult . Do you need these group holidays, given that they’ve never worked for you so far? Can you not go alone, and enjoy whatever the activity is without having to worry about other people? I love solo holidays.

I used to do these holidays & they were a mixed bag. Some where the whole group gelled, some where there was an in crowd,& some where individual people could be niggly. You just can’t tell.

There's always going to be people you don't like in a group and vice versa. Can't you do holidays alone instead? I'd find spending time with a bunch of random people hell.

Thanks very much for the responses. It's a relief to know it isn't just me who's had trouble with them. The thing is, the activity is skiing (probably should have daod that from the start!) so it's not the greatest going totally alone.

I used to have friends to go with but they no longer go. And I'm not sure whether on the first two trips it was my behaviour or just that I'm a bit of a target sometimes for bullies as I'm quiet and shy and come across as a bit nervous. I don't want to give up an activity I love so think I'll try one more time.