I'm an open book?

[Ugov]

Is this like "I'm as honest as they come", in that people who feel the need to tell you they're honest rarely are?

I have a friend who says this a lot. He means he's good at talking about how he feels and doesn't hide things. I'm not sure if I believe him. He does share, probably more than is normal/desirable sometimes, but I still think he tells half truths which are somehow worse than saying nothing at all. I.e. he wants me to think I know him well, but actually I'm not sure if I do.

People can have remarkably little self-insight.

Though I always think open books are not terribly interesting in human terms. I'm not sure I'd want to populate my life with people who set out their entire lives on their surfaces, like toppings on pizza.

Yes, I agree. I love people and working out what makes them tick. Actually, I think this one is particularly interesting because what he tells you is not it. Which is probably true of most people, but he's always keen to tell me how open he is.

I think sometimes people who label themselves with any trait are sometimes not being truthful, and sometimes the opposite is true. If it were true it would be obvious to the listener and wouldn’t need pointing out in the first place. And I think for some they define themselves by the quality they keep flagging up to people, or at least they want to be seen as possessing that quality by other people.

I know someone who tells everyone how caring and helpful she is, she isn’t in reality. She prevents other people from helping by SAYING she will help and then doesn’t, and She loves having front row seats at watching someone fail.

he wants me to think I know him well

That to me says he wants you to think you can trust him, especially as feels he needs to keep saying he's an open book (IME open books/over sharers just share, they don't state what they're doing). I'm glad you have doubts about him.

Does he show any interest in what you have to say or is it all about what he wants you to hear?

Interesting. He keeps telling me how much he trusts me and how comfortable he is telling me things, which could all be part of the same thing.

He does show interest and has actually been really supportive in a difficult situation for me, but there's something that feels a bit off.

There's no question of a "relationship", although we are both single, but we seem to have moved to very good friend territory much quicker than is usual for me. It doesn't matter, as such, I don't think I'm about to be scammed or anything and I'd think I'd be alive to it if I were, but it's interesting to think about his motivations as a study of human nature.

He does show interest and has actually been really supportive in a difficult situation for me, but there's something that feels a bit off.

Listen to that feeling. There are people who will get you to share your innermost then use that against you at a later date. Do be careful with this one.

it's interesting to think about his motivations as a study of human nature

I hope that's all it will ever be for you. They can be fascinating. I walked out of an abusive marriage (not realising at the time quite what I'd been through) straight into a job with a boss with a very similar personality. To cut a long story short, I cut ties but 'bumped into' her (she hunted me down 😁) much later after building up strength I didn't know I had. It was brilliant to watch her try every trick in the book to get me on her side and it was even better to watch her walk away having failed.