Would you take longer off work if you were me?

[sooostressed]

Trying to negotiate a house move (in the next two weeks), 18 weeks pregnant and experiencing really high anxiety and have been all pregnancy so far due to a number of reasons outside of my control. It was beginning to have a knock on effect and make me feel exhausted and dizzy, so I have taken a week off work to rest.

I still feel stressed and no better than before, maybe a little less tired which must be a good thing but other than that I just feel like there is so much going on.

DM and DH both think I should take another week or even two. A big part of me would like to - but I’m just not sure if that will help hugely, surely I will only be out the loop at work which will be stressful still when I return.

WWYD?

You shouldn't have to deal with the house move at all - your DH should be, and if his opinion is largely based upon you being off means he won't have to deal with it, he can get to fuck.

That’s a really extreme thing to say! DH is dealing with it but also working all the hours possible so I can have as long off as I would like when our baby arrives. I don’t like moving, it always causes me to feel unsettled. I think most people find a house move stressful. It wasn’t really what I asked.

Where is your dh? he should be handling all aspects of the move really. Why isnt he stepping up?

Do you think you have an underlying health problem that needs investigating?

Did you read my comment above?

And no, why? What a thing to say

Take as long as you need off. However being exhausted and dizzy isn't really 'normal' have you had your blood pressure checked recently? I might mention that to your GP or midwife?

But you are/were working, preparing to move house and growing a baby! He's just doing two of these things! Let him deal with the bulk of all things related to moving house.

Ask to see a mental health midwife for your anxiety. It'll only worsen as you go further into your pregnancy and postpartum.

It was 102/73 so she said a bit low but not too much

That is true. He is doing 60 hour weeks though and I feel it’s pretty brutal, my job is easier I do almost half the hours.

I’m receiving support for my anxiety x

I ask because I was exhaused and felt unwell (very dizzy due to low blood pressure followed later in pregnancy by heart palpitations) in my last pregnancy. my job was high pressured and i felt very unwell at points.
i ended up having to go from work to a&e twice in one week which resulted in me being signed off work and later revealed a serious congenital heart defect which had expressed itself in pregnancy as the body in under extra pressure.
Im going for surgery in a few weeks my youngest is 3m old.

THAT is why I asked if you think you could have an underlying condition.

Do you just want people to say "yeah take 3 weeks extra off to sort out your house move"

If so
yeah take 3 weeks extra off to sort out your house move 👍

I’m sorry, I must have completely misinterpreted your tone in that message and read something that wasn’t there from it. That sounds horrible for you and scary that those conditions can just present in pregnancy. It might be worth getting checked out though I have been told dizziness is normal x

They told me my dizziness was normal too.
And it is for a lot of people.

My point is you have to take care of yourself.

If the house move is causing undue stress your dh needs to buckle down cut his hours or get more efficient with his time.

You need to focus on your own health and managing your anxiety

He needs to reduce his working hours so he can sort the house move and care for his baby.

He’s working more in order to add to the savings so I can have longer off work.

If you are bothe honest he could skip it for 2 or 3 weeks or you can cut costs elsewhere ( buy a 2nd hand pram/nexttome etc or skip babyclasses like hartbeeps and baby yoga)

If you are unwell take the time though...

I’d get checked first to make sure your dizziness isn’t something serious and then see if your GP thinks your symptoms are significant enough to sign you off work. A move, work and a pregnancy are not exactly unusual circumstances.

He's working more hours to enable you to take mat leave. In theory that sounds great. However, as a consequence of his long work hours, you taking on a higher than ideal burden of stress that's causing your health to suffer.

Can't you see that it doesn't make sense? Suggest to him that he slows down for a short period. Meanwhile, if you need to, take another week off. You should both be giving yourself the opportunity to handle known stressful situations calmly as a team.

Thank you