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Think dd is seeing her ex (dv) could loose her kids

9 replies

Ddagain22 · 13/06/2024 07:20

4 years ago dd was in a DV relationship. He got arrested sent to prison whilst he was in prison dd and him had contact. This led to a PLO with social services. Dd almost lost her child. It was an awful time. She had social services around for roughly 3.5 years thru only closed the case 4ish months ago.

She met someone else whilst the above was happening there,was basically a 2 week gap before she met her current partner. So thry have been together 4isj years for the 1st couple of years the relationship was ok. He was there through all that happend and was supportive etc. They have have a baby together. He's 1 years old. Things started to go down hill and he started ti get nasty to dd. And just over a month ago he best her up police had ti be called etc.

This led to a merlin report social services made contact. Dd explained that he's out on bail no contact allowed. Dd started by saying that she would allowed him to see the baby if uts supervised by his mum. The social worker on the phone said she wanted to check with her manager. Social worker got back to her a couple days later and said that was OK. But on the same phone call dd told the social worker about her ex mental health and some of the stuff he's done to himself . The social worker then said now youvjave told me that he cant see the baby until he's sorted his own mental health out.

Few days ago dd found out her ex was sering someone else she sobbed and sobbed got her self into a bad state. To the point she could not be at home on her own . And I was taking her child to school and looking after her baby.

Suddenly yesterday her mood lifts and she meets her friend in the park whos a muteral friend. Apprently the friend said don't worry you don't have any competition she's a horrible person and she's already Been behinde his back. I said " whys he even telling you that why do you need to know if your not getting back together and she said hes just saying it in general.

Dd friend contacted me yesterday telling me dd has been I'm contact with him since the who things started maybe apart from the fust 4 days or so . And to be honest i think I believe her. Dd does not knowcthe friend told me.

Dd told me yesterday the friend had accused her of still seeing her ex and dd said she has not and I said that I'm not sure i believe her (as in dd) and I said I think its a repeat of the E situation. And I told her that he's going to end up hurting her again police will get called and you will grt your kids taken away.

She started shitting saying i spoke to social services ages ago they have already said he can see the baby ad long as I supervise it abd he'd sorted his mental health. I'm not going to lose my fucking kids when it's already been said it's OK. So she's changed her story from his mum supervising to her supervising herself. Which to me is the route she's using to see him and to rekindle things.

So what do I do .

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 13/06/2024 07:50

You call social services yourself

Mouswife · 13/06/2024 07:53

Call social services now and get yourself on the right side of honesty here. Your DD is well on the way to being in court and if you may have to step in and care for your grandchild you will need to show you have been honest with social. If they think you are collaborating with her , they will not allow you to care for children.

beAsensible1 · 13/06/2024 07:58

i Would keep an eye and be ready to call SS for your daughter if she gets back in contact with this guy, she cannot have her kids around him.

he is dangerous. Her kids deserve better.

nobeans · 13/06/2024 08:00

Mouswife · 13/06/2024 07:53

Call social services now and get yourself on the right side of honesty here. Your DD is well on the way to being in court and if you may have to step in and care for your grandchild you will need to show you have been honest with social. If they think you are collaborating with her , they will not allow you to care for children.

This is the best advice e

Sunnysummer24 · 13/06/2024 08:04

Call SS. Some one needs to protect those children.

I also highly doubt she went from one man who was so violent he went to prison for 4 years to a good new relationship which was fine until suddenly it wasn’t a few weeks ago. Thr newer man will have been abusive throughout their relationship. Your daughter needs support with relationships from a donestic violence charity.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/06/2024 09:30

She's in an awful complex trauma bond - I agree get yourself involved with social workers and ensure they bring child straight to you if they need to remove from mum

LakeTiticaca · 13/06/2024 10:58

Ring social services and tell your DD to put her children before her abusive boyfriends

FartSock5000 · 13/06/2024 11:01

@Ddagain22 in many cases where there is a trauma bond through abuse, our brains get addicted to the highs and lows. You DD may not be able to think clearly on the consequences because her brain may be caught in an addiction loop.

Call SS yourself. Tell them she needs help.

If they catch her out then the kids are going anyway. If you can get ahead and ask for help instead, they have a fighting chance.

You can't stop her from doing what she is doing but you can keep the kids safe.

Ddagain22 · 13/06/2024 16:51

Thank you for all the advice
I don't think I have much choice

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