So upset at my Dad

[stressedandupsetx]

I’m not even sure if this is the right place to post this or if anyone is even around at this time in the morning but I need to vent

My Dad (in his 50’s) has what he described as a “sore ankle” this week. I’ve popped round today after work and he couldn’t put weight on it and his ankle is red and twice the size it should be. I suspected it might be broken so after much persuasion I managed to get him to let me take him to the minor injuries unit for an X-ray. The minor injuries unit did said X-ray which showed no break but were concerned he could have septic arthritis/bone infection as there was no obvious injury to have caused the swelling and he also had a fever and the area is very red, swollen and warm to touch so they sent us off to a&e. After 5 hours in a&e he’s left and refused to wait any longer despite the fact there could be something seriously wrong and without his blood test results and then to top it off proceeded to have a go at me on the journey home about how I’ve wasted his evening (like this was top of my evening plans!?!)

I love my dad to bits and he’s the only family I have so it frustrates me so much that he’s a) so cavalier about his health and b) that he doesn’t care about me enough to want to look after himself and keep himself healthy

Currently sitting on my sofa in tears having just got in trying not to imagine the worst and have work to go to in 3 hours 😩

Often when people are afraid they shut down and it's hard to get them to listen.

What can you do next? The blood tests were done, so results will come - could you encourage him to access those tomorrow? Also suggest he gets a GP appointment so there is some follow up.

Sounds a pretty awful evening!

You could let his GP know - they can’t discuss him with you but will also get the test results.

Blood test results will be on his nhs app. He may not be able to read them but once you can confirm, ring GP for results and confirm an appointment.

He sounds very ungrateful. He's lucky to have someone concerned like you.

Septic arthritis would require urgent treatment with a hospital stay and IV antibiotics. Would the hospital not ring him direct if that is a concern?

I'm sorry he was cross with you. If he is suffering from an infection he may not be quite himself. Someone in my family had septic arthritis in an ankle and was very grumpy and not feeling great in the days before it became apparent. But hopefully once he has the results he'll follow whatever recommendation the experts make and will feel better quickly.

Thank you for the replies everyone. I’ve just walked back through the door after checking on him after work.

He’s refusing to follow up his blood test results or contact the GP. I tried calling the surgery myself but they said they couldn’t do anything unless he contacted them. He did say he had a missed call off an unknown number at 6am this morning but no voicemail and they haven’t tried to call back again.

He says it can’t possibly be septic arthritis as he feels fine in himself (he is eating and drinking normally) and that he’s getting no worse and apparently the swelling and pain has been like this for days now and if it was septic arthritis he reckons it would be getting worse. He says he’s googled and reckons it gout 🙄

I just feel so helpless and frustrated. There’s clearly something wrong but I can’t physically drag him to get help so I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.