Please commiserate with me about my horrible morning

[Wowthisisshit]

Took my 2 year old and my 3 month old to a local (tiny) play centre this morning. Baby had a poo explosion on the way, so I need to change her, my toddler screams blue murder at being left in the main bit with my friend who we were meeting there, but in full sight of me with the door open. I need to feed the baby, who is now also screaming, so do that, toddler continues to scream, just out of my arms reach while baby feeds. She won’t be distracted by snacks or by toys, or by me talking to her. I’m scrabbling around trying and failing to feed discretely and stop her from tantruming. Baby stops feeding, and starts screaming again because she’s tired. Toddler still screaming. Baby goes in the sling (screaming), I put the toddler in the buggy (screaming) and walk out.

I cried all the way home.

I don’t want my toddler diagnosed. There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s a bright, chatty little girl who was having a tantrum. I just want some sympathy please, and maybe some similar horror stories. The looks of horror and sympathy on the faces of my friend and the lady who works there will take a while to fade!

ds wasnt screaming but when i had his sister in a pram, he was runnign round the supermarket picking up joint of chicken, or a package of sanitary towels, "for you mummy" the shoppers were amused!

youngest DD (then age 3) once had a huge screaming tantrum at her sister’s sports day because she didn’t want to break off playing at home to go and watch the sports day. She threw her shoes off and tantrumed all the way to the school, we arrived harassed, late and in a taxi. She shut up briefly and sulked in a grump when we arrived and for the first few races but started up again when they announced a toddler race and she saw her pre-school friends heading to line up, I asked her if she wanted to join them and she said yes, took her to the start line and lo and behold she stood there screaming her head off once the race started. Turned out she didn’t want to race, but didn’t want anyone else to either so she was wailing that the other children were having fun that she didn’t want to participate in. When I took her back to her buggy she hurled herself backwards like a board just as I placed her in it, tipping the buggy up (lightweight stroller as it was summer) backwards and kicking me in the face in the process. Then screamed like a banshee some more because I dared to pick the buggy up, causing people to turn around and look. My elder daughter who is 5 years older was watching horrified and embarrassed as usually her little sister was a quiet little thing, all the kids were staring by this point and the parents and teachers, and I wanted the ground to swallow me up. She is 19 now, and considerably more civilised in public.

My DD is 22 now but I still break out in a cold sweat when remember the horror of a screaming tantrum in Sainsbury’s because I wouldn’t buy Shrek on DVD. We already had a copy of it at home.

Screaming, flailing on the floor until she eventually knocked over this whole cardboard stand of DVDs. Luckily the staff were lovely about it, but other customers not so much.

Lots of sympathy from me!

When 2yo my DS had an absolute meltdown about getting dressed 1 hour before our wedding ceremony. (we had a destination wedding in a hotel in Barbados).

Again stiff as a board, wouldn't get dressed, wouldn't put on shoes, red snotty face.

He finally calmed down enough that I could put him in the buggy and I had 15 minutes to get dressed. We were late to our own wedding.

In all the photos he looked like an ethereal bloody angel in his little white linen pants, shirt and waistcoat. 🙄

I looked like a hideous sweaty mess. 😅

I'm divorced now, and his father after a few years of EOW with DS just cut contact and disappeared one day.

My DS is much older now, and with his dark sense of humour once said to me that I should have taken it as a sign not to go through with the ceremony. 😅

Awww, all I can say is, we've all been there! Mine are now teens but i vividly remember trying to get over a railway bridge, at rush hour, at a station with no bloody lift or disabled access, with a newborn in a pram, a stroppy 5y old on a buggy board, carrying a tantrumming 2 year old. It was like that fox and hen over a river logic puzzle. I eventually fell on one of the legs and grazed my shin all the way down the metal stairs. Looks of horror all round from. 100s of commuters. No fucker offered to help until I'd already fallen. Pamper yourself this evening!

Tantrumming toddler is now stroppy teenager btw, it does get (slightly) easier ..

You poor thing OP we've all been there. I do feel after you've had strong willed toddlers/preschoolers there is nothing you can't handle. I think when I came out the other side from it all I was actually a lot more relaxed and confident.

Not sure about the reference to a diagnosis? Any parent knows that toddlers are, literally, challenging. Learning at every opportunity how to behave. Sounds like you are doing a great job, hang in there....

We've all been there, you have my sympathy, understanding and love. Tomorrow is another day, don't beat yourself up.

Really hard when you have two that are really little, I can empathise, but you will get through it. And it does get easier.

Many years ago I left my tantruming toddler laying on the floor screaming in the (small) supermarket aisle, did my shopping, and scooped them up on the way out.
I knew where they were, just exactly where they'd thrown themselves on the floor!

When my DD (who is now 22) was about 2 she didn't want her feet measured for new shoes. She was being increasingly difficult (and loud) and eventually managed to kick out almost catching the woman in the face as she was knelt down at foot level. We were quietly asked to leave Clarks without new shoes!!

Another time DD was 3, we were on an aircraft to go on holiday and she didn't want her seatbelt on. She got louder and louder until we ended up with a member of the crew knelt down face to face with her telling her if she didn't put it on we weren't going on holiday. I remind her of this regularly as she is now cabin crew and sees wilful toddlers most days, I think it's karma!

Oh that sounds really stressful!

I remember when I was taking my two under two to nursery, the youngest did not want to go, climbed on my head with a Thomas trackmaster going around and shoved it in my bun! I was trying to hold his ankles so he didn't fall, while begging the staff to turn the toy off 😂😂 they were bent double laughing, and had to cut it out at the root!
They're not much better now they're 10 and 11 but I remember a few peaceful years inbetween and cherish them 😂

Mine are teens now, but looking back the general rule was that the more effort/expense was put into an activity, the more likely there was to be a tantrum or squabbles or even full on fighting.

Luckily they grew out of it and they are really good company now 😀

Just this from me and a hope that tomorrow morning goes better.

My Grandma came down for the week to see us, when I was little. Probably going back 36 years ago now. The 3 of us went into town. My Mum took me into woolies and my Grandma nipped next door into M&S. She said once she'd finished in there and came to meet us. She didn't even need to bother looking for us. Apparently my screaming and wailing could be heard from outside and I was very easy to find once inside. No idea what I was throwing a tantrum over. Probably my Mum refusing to buy me some ridiculously priced pick and mix 😅 there's also a lovely pic of me laid face down on the floor whilst on holiday having yet another epic tantrum.

I've got two.

First, took my son shopping. Went ballistic in the car (as usual, feel like I've got PTSD about car journeys to this day). Poo explosion. Go to changing rooms. No wipes in changing bag. Use clothes to wipe him, bin them, nappy on. Take him to the clothes section and dress him there and scan the baby. Literally shit show of a morning.

Second, had 2yr 3month old son and 3 months old DD. Went to see a friend with children a similar age. Her toddler played beautifully, her baby was calm. I constantly tried to stop my toddler hitting while baby screamed, flailed and sprayed breast milk all over her tastefully decorated house. We left early (after a comical exchange in which she couldn't hear me saying we were leaving early due to the crescendo of screams from both of my sprogs).

Thank you, all of you, for the virtual tea and sympathy. Just a random bad day, today has been loads better, but you all made me feel better. Love the stories x

Oh bless you Hang on in there, it does get better, I promise. My eldest was an absolute nightmare - tantrum after tantrum after tantrum, day after day after day. He was vile to his baby sister and didn’t care whether it was in the house or in public - I lost count of the number of times I would drive home in tears. He’s now a lovely 27 year old - there is hope!

Think of it as preparation for the teenage years after you’re lulled into a false sense of security in the years between toddlerhood and 12/13 😂

Poor you, OP. Any looks you had would have been the automatic reaction to screaming. People look, they just do. Most then turn around and get on with what they're doing, they can see you have it under control.

As women I think we're hard-wired to people-please and interpret anything other than joy on people's faces as discomfort. We then want to fix it.

There is nothing to fix, nothing that needed doing, you did it all. Hope your day (in spite of the weather) was brighter when you got home.