DP's present buying - A first-world vent.

[EntitledFucker]

I know I sound like an entitled, ungrateful fucker. I'm not. I'm so grateful for the lovely gifts that DP buys me but I need a vent....

Essentially whenever I give DP gift ideas for me, he surpasses himself and buys me the most ridiculous luxury version of the fairly simple things I've asked for. And because the gifts he buys me are so luxurious, I don't use them as freely as intended, I get stressed with the pressure of how bloody lovely they are, and I have to go and buy myself normal versions of the things anyway 😳

As an example:
For my birthday at the weekend, I asked for a few things to ease the pain of a shitty work bollocks residential thing that's coming up this week. I said:
> I've got massive cravings for liquorice so please get some All Sorts for me to munch on in the five hours train journey. He bought me a Lakrids gift box.

> I'd really like a nice bottle of body lotion to slather myself in after a shower before I go to dinner with work bellends. He doesn't use body lotion so I suggested a random bottle from TKMaxx with the biggest reduction from RRP. He got me a bottle of Chanel No5 body oil.

Obviously I'm super pleased to have luxury liquorice and Chanel body oil. Obviously. I'm so grateful. But I'm now in the situation where I've got these ridiculously luxurious things to use up at some point and I'll go and buy myself some cheap liquorice and a mid-range bottle of body lotion anyway 😂

I know this is a massive first world problem. But I need to vent!

Saving stuff for best nuts. I always remember a colleague telling me about all the stuff 'saved for best' she pulled out of her mum's cupboards after she died. 'Best' never came.

And actually I feel sorry for your DP if all you get him is 'mundane' stuff for his birthday. How utterly miserable. What does he get? Jelly Babies and a can of Lynx? Misery

He sounds great

If you don't want him, I'll have him. Bloody love Lakrids and I'd have scoffed them just the same as Allsorts.

Drop the "save for best" mentality if you can afford this stuff and languish in the fact that you can have these lovely things. Don't be like my mum who still has a fucking candle from 1978 just because it's "too expensive to light" 😆

I thought you were going to say the opposite that he bought you basic every day version's as gifts.
We have some family who do that. Buy dove shower gel or sainsbury plain tshirt etc and it seems really odd as gifts. And they buy multiple items so you could get one special thing rather than 6 everyday items.
Eat the liquorice on the train. He bought it so you could have an extra nice liquorice for your trip as a treat.

Perhaps the whole point of this is not that they are luxury versions. The problem is that they are not what the OP asked for. She's told him exactly what she wants and he's gone and bought something he thinks is 'better'.

You're being daft. Just use what he got you. You don't need the body lotion to be a cheaper one. What would you be saving it for. Makes no sense.

He's telling you that you are worth the good stuff - don't do yourself down by thinking you should use mediocre things every day instead of lovely ones.
You can afford the Chanel so enjoy it!

He sounds great and like he’s trying to show his appreciation by going above and beyond. And sounds like he’s has great taste too. I can’t believe it’s driven you to start a thread on TBH. Why not just use it, seeing you know there’s plenty more where that came from?

@EntitledFucker I get you OP. You know what you wanted, and that's what you asked for. He has overridden your request and got you what he thinks you should have instead (albeit with the best intentions).

Life is short. Enjoy the luxury and use it. It is his way of showing he loves you so don't just not use them otherwise they will moulder away in a cupboard. Use the good stuff!

Well it could be worse he could forget or tell you to buy it yourself.. I understand what you were trying to say but let him spoil you dont stress about it.

OP, I used to save things 'for best'. Then my best, oldest friend (same age as me, friends since primary school) died, very suddenly and unexpectedly and I realised that 'for best' day might never come.

So I started using some of my lovely things. It gets easier once you get started. Enjoy the loveliness and don't worry about keeping things - like I said, sometimes there's never time for best.

I grew up with a ‘save it for best’ mum, but…..’best’ never happened. Bought her nice perfume as she liked mine, then found it years later gone stale in the box. ‘I never have occasions to wear perfume’ said mum. My aunt bought mum a jacket that mum actually wanted, but was deemed by mum ‘too expensive’ so it went under a dust cover in her wardrobe only for her to then scour charity shops for an identical jacket cheap enough for her to wear. 🤦🏽‍♀️.

What would stop you just being able to enjoy the luxury versions? I can see that you find it difficult to relax and accept expensive gifts. In mum’s case, it was complex. She did want to be cared for but couldn’t bring herself to feel ok with accepting generosity.

Years ago a now ex bought me Clinique moisturiser. It was about £25 so not cheap. I barely used it. Told my boss and she said I should use it, no point keeping for best. So I always use the nice stuff I get. I think we've all had moments that remind us that best might never come, special occasions might not be often enough. We only have right now.

Did you have a poor upbringing OP?

An acquaintance of mine had quite an impoverished childhood and has a similar mindset.

Oh @EntitledFucker just use and enjoy the nice things. Why not. Chanel body oil sounds lovely. I don't like liquorice but I assume if you do then Lakrids is the bomb?

For best is so ridiculous, sorry. Please don't think like that. NOW is best.

Use them

Don't leave them sat in a cupboard

That does sound satisfying.

It's not laziness at all - DP spends days and days researching the luxury gifts for me and will go miles to get them.

He likes lots of things of top quality 😂😂

It's not the case at all that "all I get him is mundane stuff". I didn't suggest that was the case.

I understand you!

Sometimes you just wish someone would listen to you.

Zombie thread!
But if you’re still there @EntitledFucker please can you give a report of the shitty work bollocks residential thing. Sounds like it could be a great story.

Life is short. Use the nice things.

The special occasion is, you got a nice gift.

Celebrate that by using it right away!