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My lodger isn't working out-I've written notice but do I need to do anything else?

23 replies

LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 16:48

I have had a few issues with her including taking things from the fridge/freezer without asking but we've got through that.

She once didn't pay her rent and pleaded ignorance when I asked why not and asked to pay double the following month instead which I said no to.

She's been here just under 6 months.

I have two spare rooms, and she picked one which also has the unit in it housing the gas/electricity meetings. When she chose that room I said to her that she'd have to read the meters for me, or be okay with me doing it which obviously meant me going into her room. I am not very comfortable with that anyway, it should be her space, but anyway I did go into her room to read the meters while she was out, recently (I'd asked her to and she kept forgetting and eventually she said to me to go and do it myself she didn't mind).

Well for a start, her room is a TIP and this is coming from me who's naturally a messy person, but I'd never seen anything like that. Loads of empty beer cans (probably ones she's taken without asking as they're the same brand DP drinks!), food wrappers, takeaway boxes, cups, plates, rubbish generally. Ash tray-I've told her I don't mind her having one out of the window but it is right next to her bed-and It's not even an actual ash tray-It's one of ramekins. She has the same bedding on as when she moved in and I really don't think she's ever changed/washed it either, a used sanitary pad on the side.

Not really my business I guess? As long as she's not damaging the house but there were also several tiny, clear bags on her bedside unit. I picked one up and it looks to have had cocaine in it.

I am asking really two things 1)she's obviously going through some hard times. She doesn't speak to me about personal things, which is fine but would you approach her to ask if she needs to talk?
2) what are the implications for me, of her doing drugs in the house? As I've said I've served notice but if (for example) within the notice period I don't know, I had to call the police for some reason and they saw something like that? Unlikely I know but I'd just like to know. I am also selling this house soon hopefully and have had a valuaer booked for some time but they've postponed on me twice-what if they'd have seen something like that?

Should I be doing anything else with this situation other than telling her she needs to find somewhere else?
Strangely enough, on the surface she's a lovely friendly person and this is all quite shocking.

I've name-changed obviously.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 09/06/2024 16:54

You are responsible if you allow someone to take illegal drugs on your premises. So if you know she is taking drugs in your house, you have to tell her not to and if you give that as part of the reason for evicting her, then I think you will have done your duty. As far as I know, you don't have to report her to the police at present, but if it was a regular thing you might be seen as "allowing it" if you failed to take steps to prevent it.

LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 17:00

Thank you, that's helpful and the kind of thing I was wondering about.

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LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 18:59

It's probably not the right sort of place to ask this question but, is there anything else that these litttle bags could be? Coud there be an innocent explanation?

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DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 09/06/2024 19:03

You're over thinking. No you don't need to be her friend/counsellor. She needs to move out so you can fumigate clean her room and her life issues are for her to seek support from her friends/family/professional support network, not you. Secondly 99% yes it's drugs but no it won't get you in trouble as how is anyone ever going to know she's using drugs in there!
How much notice have you given her? Is she starting to look? Have you given her a long notice period? If yes, then it's reasonable to reduce it on the basis that you have seen drug paraphernalia in her room, or if you don't want to mention that, the general condition of her room is enough!!

LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 19:18

I've given her a month.

She's not home until tomorrow and I have put it in a letter to her that I've left on her door.

OP posts:
Rubydooby45 · 09/06/2024 19:21

A used sanitary towel 🤢

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 09/06/2024 19:26

LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 19:18

I've given her a month.

She's not home until tomorrow and I have put it in a letter to her that I've left on her door.

Cut it down to 2 weeks. A month is ages.

parttimeweddingplanner · 09/06/2024 19:27

As a lodger she has very few rights. You could tell her to leave tomorrow and she wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on.

A month is very reasonable.

Did you take a deposit? Don't give it back until she's actually left.

Please don't worry about the drugs from a legal point of view. Anyone saying you should is scaremongering or naive.

Drugs are endemic in our society and the police are massively underfunded. They aren't bothering to follow up many actual crimes at the moment.

They really, really don't care about you knowing your lodger might do coke. Please don't give that worry another thought.

LodgerIssues · 09/06/2024 19:33

I know, it was a gross thing to be confronted with!
Thank you @parttimeweddingplanner . I'm not a 'pearl clutcher' about drugs but I just felt a bit alarmed that there had potentially been some going on in my house. And coke? I think I'd have been less bothered if it was weed.

She confuses me because she's often in her room all day. And to get to the loo from her room she has to pass the room I work from. She seldom leaves her room at all-I kept thinking she must be going to the loo in a bucket or something.

OP posts:
NextPhaseOfLife · 09/06/2024 19:40

Just to mention OP, you need to set clear rules next time.

Having a cigarette 'out of the window' means 'it's okay to smoke in your room'.

Either it is or it isn't, so i would suggest being firm.

parttimeweddingplanner · 09/06/2024 19:43

Oh, in terms of issues outside of the legal aspect, yes I'd be concerned at someone taking coke in my house.

I've taken a shit tonne of drugs in my time (pre-DC) and coke heads often are, in my experience, boring, arrogant, self obsessed and in denial that they're addicted to it. Can't stand being around them!

Zebrasinpyjamas · 09/06/2024 19:47

As well as doing it by letter send her a picture or email so you have dated evidence. You can include mention of also giving her a letter too so it is clear you have given her 2 copies. I suspect she will argue she can't move out, needs longer, didn't see the letter etc if she has a chaotic life.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 09/06/2024 19:48

Also be prepared to change the locks the day she is meant to go. Also being a bit paranoid, hide any valuables or your identity proof like passport or licence until then?

Secondguess · 09/06/2024 19:49

You don't need to give her a month's notice, you can reduce it to any amount of time that you're comfortable with. When has she pre-paid until? That could be a good deadline.

Superstoria · 09/06/2024 19:50

I’d take photos of the mess, the ashtrays, the coke and the sanitary towel, cut the notice to two weeks and if she asks why, send her the photos.

And don’t get the valuer round till you’ve sorted it!

CadyEastman · 09/06/2024 19:52

Superstoria · 09/06/2024 19:50

I’d take photos of the mess, the ashtrays, the coke and the sanitary towel, cut the notice to two weeks and if she asks why, send her the photos.

And don’t get the valuer round till you’ve sorted it!

Couldn't agree more. Also agree with changing the locks when she's moved and locking away your valuables till then.

When is her next rent due and is she still in arrears?

LodgerIssues · 10/06/2024 09:55

@NextPhaseOfLife I understand that. I didn't want to be a hypocrite, I have a good friend who visits often and smokes while here, so I felt I couldn't totally ban it as my house is not a completely smoke free zone. I just didn't' want the house to smell of smoke and was worried about the dangers of falling asleep doing it or such. When friend is here he'll only have one or two and I get rid of the scent of it afterwards, which I saw as a bit different to someone who lives here smoking constantly in their bedroom.

She pays at the end of the month and no, she's paid up until now

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LodgerIssues · 11/06/2024 08:08

New twist in the tale is, for the last week she'd told me(& mutuals) that she'd booked the week off work. Apparently not, she's lost her job! So I'd have had to have given her notice anyway. She has a 30 hrs a week job (well, had) but also did some shifts in the local pub. The pub job isn't enough £ for her to live on I am sure. Not sure if she's just not been going in due to drugs, or something else.

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 14/06/2024 16:01

I don't suppose it matters what the reason is, she's still lost her job. Did you end up giving her a whole month in the end?

OMGsamesame · 14/06/2024 16:03

Superstoria · 09/06/2024 19:50

I’d take photos of the mess, the ashtrays, the coke and the sanitary towel, cut the notice to two weeks and if she asks why, send her the photos.

And don’t get the valuer round till you’ve sorted it!

Do not do this

LodgerIssues · 14/06/2024 17:08

No, I won't do that! Even though she was aware I may need to enter her room sometimes.

I did give her a month as I believe that's what is an unwritten 'supposed to do', if someone pays monthly. She has said she'll go sooner however.

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 14/06/2024 17:14

I'd still make sure that you lock away any valuables maybe not DH's beer between now and then and I'd be changing the locks once she's gone if it were me.

LodgerIssues · 14/06/2024 19:12

Ha😂

DP isn't here all the time-so yes,I think I will hide the beer in between visits! I think she takes quite a lot of it based on what I saw. I know It's only beer-but it annoys me, It's not hers! I have always offered her one too, if DP is here and we're having a drink. I'm not tight, but I don't like things just being taken from me.

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