Overcoming reverse bedtime procrastination

[wilteddandelion]

A silly thing, but it's getting me into a mess and it's getting worse. I know my life is objectively very privileged but it feels like a horrid grind and I end up not wanting to go to bed because when I do, I crash out like a light (I have auto immune issues so fatigue/not feeling rested from sleep is an issue) then have to start everything over again tomorrow. Can anyone help me nip this in the bud, please?
Though I will say I can see there's an irony to posting this now, when everyone else in the house is in bed and it's half past midnight....!😅

No answer OP. I hate going to bed and I hate getting up. At 7am I love my bed and I could stay there all day. Yet now, at 12:30 am, I don't want to go there. Go figure!

Same!

It's called sleep procrastination. It's a thing. I suffer too. As you can see. Here I am responding to a thread at 12.50

Melatonin helped me

Well I'm glad it's not just me, at least. I sort of presumed it wouldn't be. Feels ridiculous when I'm exhausted and spend most of the day dreaming of crawling into bed but then it gets round to 'bedtime' and I'll put it off for as long as possible.

I think you NEED to go to bed, Honey. I know it’s hard to feel like you get time for yourself, so maybe you could have a pre-bed ritual that is “me time” like cup of tea, read a book, nice pajamas, night time skincare ritual, foot cream, (with socks) hand cream, (with gloves).

I do this too. I often spend time just sitting in peace downstairs into the small hours of the morning! To try and combat it, I have a kindle paperwhite which I read in bed, with dark mode on, so my calm time can be in bed without disturbing my DH with my phone screen light. I also have wireless earbuds which I use to listen to classic fm and I usually fall asleep with one in (just one so I can lie on the opposite side and not have it dig into my head!) Then partway through the night I wake up, stick the earbud in its case by my bed and go back to sleep.

Btw, I do this because I hate going to bed too. I have ptsd and get nightmares. As well as that, I have serious heart failure and have arrhythmias in my sleep. The two make for a chicken and egg situation sometimes. I can’t get back to sleep after.

Perhaps we're all owls. Perhaps this stupid getting up at 7.00 am (or whenever) thing will never suit us. Perhaps we're made to drift into consciousness at 9.00, spend an hour in bed reading, potter around until 12.00 doing housework and breakfasting, then intensive work between midday and 8.00pm, followed by either socialising or domestic relaxation as suits us. The day my youngest starts secondary is the last day I ever set my alarm I tell you. Owl liberation front 👊🦉

I'm the same. My DP is going to bed now, and ... it's too early.

i have found my people

yeah. cptsd nightmares aren't great....though weirdly I found stopping CBD reduced them. Others I know found the opposite is true - CBD lessens their nightmares. (Just saying in case you've not tried it!)

Plus I'm always very sore and stiff in the morning, it wears off after about an hour but it seems pointless leaving a pain free time to 'time travel' to one where you'll be in pain.

And my natural rhythm has always been something like sleeping 2am - 10am but looks of horror i get when I say I'd happily read by torchlight till the small hours make it sound as if I proposed a murder.

Same 😀

Same here!!

Me too! I love my bed, it's comfy and snuggly, I love sleeping and snoozing but do it much better in the mornings than evenings. I force myself into an early night once a week to catch up.

It takes a lot of willpower to resist the "early to bed, early to rise" posse. Most of us don't work on farms any more. The majority of us don't have small children. Realistically, where your 8 hours of rest, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of play fall in the 24 hour cycle shouldn't have any bearing on what a good little citizen you are. Without us weirdos to keep watch in the wee small hours, you lot would probably have been eaten by bears or proto hyenas by now.

(Have been using my enhanced ability to stay up late to get drunk this evening. Or, strengthening social bonds if you prefer 🤪)

Same

I'm the same, just look at the time! 😆

Treat yourself to some audio books and a headphone headband.

I'm here! Get off your phone! Try to listen to stories rather than look at screen. X

IT'S LIGHT OUTSIDE! I genuinely love the dawn hours ... I just wish I'd already slept by the time it comes around. Last night I went to bed 'early' at 2am and couldn't sleep, so got up again ... and so it continues.

My old shrink told me he had another patient like this. Problem was solved by her career change - she became a croupier. Sounded eminently sensible to me.

This is me as well, 5am and I'm still awake although I did have an accidental 3 hour nap on the sofa in the afternoon which didn't help. I found this thread at the right time as I've been feeling guilty for not sleeping yet despite the fact I don't have anything to do in the morning.

I like the early hours because it's when I feel everyone is safe. They're all at home in bed. DC who has autism and anxiety can be hard to deal with during the day so after bedtime I can finally relax. My other DC works in a shop and is often on early starts leaving at 6am so going to bed early and getting up and enjoying the time then doesn't work for me when I know she'll be out the house. But also, in the early hours there won't be people at the door for deliveries or cold calling which I hate (I did have a sign on the door but they always seem to ignore it). There aren't kids playing outside making noise, there aren't cars going up our road, it's just peaceful and lovely at this time.

I do have a blackout blind in our bedroom so I can sleep during the day if I need to.

I've just finished a degree with the OU (flexible) and the work I'm going into will be 100% flexible for me too, something I need with DC's health as well as my own health issues so there's no reason for me not to enjoy these hours to myself.

You can carve out hours in the quiet mornings if you sleep earlier OP.

I awake about an hour ago I intend on doom scrolling for another half hour, and then have a chill with coffee and a book until the rest of the house gets up, it's Sunday so I reckon I have 3-4 hours peace.

Summer is the time to shift your hours, the mornings are light, warm, quiet.

I used to be an owl, my favourite time to feed the babies was 3-4am when the rest of the world, or so it seemed was sleeping, I used to listen to the radio or more bizarrely watch live sky sports, it's crazy there is live sport going on somewhere on the planet at all time. Just so I felt someone else was awake.

And the other thing to remember is not everyone needs 8 hours sleep at night, some people thrive on less, I think I am a 7 hours type person, and if you can nap in the day you don't have to do a whole block in one go.

Humans aren't robots.

But if you need more sleep and are avoiding it, well there isn't much going on at 2am on the whole, you aren't missing much (unless live cricket from India is your thing).

I understand the wanting some time in the day away from the grind and people wanting stuff off you. But being fatigued throughout the whole day, for me, is worse than trying to get time out.

Saying that I am having time out now I am awake, downstairs but have no intention of doing anything for anyone else for at least 3 hours, I'm looking at how the rising sun is illuminating the garden trees in a different way, making a (very decent) coffee slowly and have a book I want to get firmly established in.

Basically whatever you do, how much and when you sleep, the main advice is to just lean into it and stop overthinking it. If you want to stay up late stay up late.