I hope this is the right place to post this. I just want to share our story in the hope that it can help other families recognise potential problems.
Our family home is next door to a small riding school in a village. My daughter became very keen to ride at a young age, and having had some lessons nearby we decided to try the neighbouring school. At first it was lovely, she was well looked after and seemed to be somewhat of a teachers pet so to speak. We loaned a pony from them and my daughter learned the ropes with a view to getting her own. She worked very hard for the school, and at only 10 and 11 years old she would come home exhausted from the long days of poo picking and mucking out.
As she began to outgrow the loan pony things changed. The other girls started to isolate her, they constantly bullied her and criticised her, even going as far as to tell her one weekend that the pony had passed away. She started to dread going, so I started to accompany her. It was not pleasant. The adults in charge were very different from the early days when we were welcomed and valued. They were difficult to deal with and the atmosphere was often uncomfortable at best.
I tried to address this several times, and promises were made to keep a closer eye etc, but the problems continued. Dd was desperate to stay as she loved the pony, but it started to impact her school and family life. Sadly we have had to cut ties completely and have started afresh with a new pony elsewhere.
The point of this is that bullying doesn't only happen to your children at school. It can be anywhere, even in the clubs where you think they are safe. The adults in charge can be as bad, if not worse, than the children. It can range from subtle undermining, to controlling threatening words and behaviour, or emotional damage.
As a doctor I have dealt with many children with anxiety based issues caused by these exact circumstances.
I hope that anyone reading this will pay extra attention to the care their children receive in these unregulated clubs. Please do not assume that your child is happy, safe and respected. Go along with them, join in, or make friends with the adults running or supporting the activities, and please, please, be bullying aware!