My mum has always painted a terrible picture of my father, granted he was a bit of a bellend, he cheated on her when I was younger so my mum threw him out.
My mum has always told me that my dad beat her up. I have recollections of them screaming at each other and her being violent but not so much him.
When I stayed with him and his partner they never argued and I never saw violence. Violence was never directed at me either. I don't have a relationship with my dad because of the stuff I've been told by her.
My mum has form for creating narratives which aren't true, she was also convinced my dad was a cross dresser but also thinks her current partner is one too. She has bad paranoia and I do suspect Bipolar Disorder because she has other traits (being over sexualised, extreme paranoia, extreme mood swings etc.)
My mum used to smack me about quite a lot to be honest. And I don't just mean on the backs of my legs either. I was genuinely scared of her, she'd hit me around the face and head. I'm now working on myself and I'm questioning my entire upbringing and wanted to know if a man is violent to a woman; what are the chances hed be violent to his child? Because now I've sat with this I'm thinking it was my mother who was the abuser and not him.