Tantrums in public?

[blueberriii]

What do you think when you see this?

Just curious I have a toddler (2 years 6 months) and yesterday he

• had a meltdown as I returned an item because he wanted the snack from my bag
• ran off so I had to chase him as the shop was in a retail park so he could’ve ran out straight to the car park
• cried because I didn’t go into the food shop

I stay firm, I explain (e.g. you need to hold mummy’s hand when we’re out and about/by cars) and he is very good just of course we all have our moments as people so he has his!

I just thought do people think I’m a bad mum ? Because he was ‘running riot’

I have been told I’m a soft touch, I’m not I just don’t want to shout and try to understand him
as much as I can.

I think, "Haha, I've been there!"

I'd give you a sympathetic look.

I just smile in sympathy because every parent has been there! And if they say they haven't then they're lying 🤣 if I get embarrassed or flustered my DD is 10x worse so I try to stay chilled and breezy and either remove her from the situation or try deflect with something.

Have to admit I sometimes look and think I would do some things differently, not judging as such, but my dcs haven't tantrummed as much as other dcs because I've managed to avoid the situation. E.g. I never take them into shops unless they're napping, and keep snacks at arm's reach (often in my pocket) so I can get to them quickly). Mine is a bolter but I keep her on reins near cars.

Stressed a lot about this when it was me, now as the mother of an 8 year old I totally get the smiling or sympathetic looks because I do that now! Normally I look now and think aw I miss those days so most likely would give u a smile 😂

I think "thank fuck it's not me this time".

Once when pregnant with DC2 I was out for a walk by myself and did the sympathetic "we've all been there" smile at two mums struggling with their little boy. They obviously interpreted it as "my unborn precious will never behave like that" and gave me absolute filthies.

Put him on reins

I'm a bit perplexed by this - how do you only shop when your children are napping? How old are they? Do you mean in their pushchairs with you or you leave them at home with someone else and go and do the shop? Just cos I have a 2 year old who naps for half an hour a day and will soon drop it completely I'm sure, so just 'not going into shops with her' isn't really an option if I ever need...you know, anything.

At 2 I definitely wouldn't judge. It's such a typical part of toddler development. I'd feel sorry for you and thank god my kids are older. I struggled with embarrassment in those situations as I felt judged but honestly now looking back I don't think most people judge tantrums.

That's the only time I will admit I sometimes judge. It worries me seeing toddlers racing off. Reins or buggy.

Just regarding the racing, we have worked on hand holding and he’s usually excellent at holding my hand the whole time but again was having a day!

Reins - point blank refuses, if I manage to get them on tries to rip them off or just pulls at them and cries
buggy/pram - hes refused this since 18mo

He’s quite active and strong willed so we’ve worked with this and like I say he’s not usually a runner

I just smile to myself and think I’m glad I’m past that stage with my dc. I would definitely work on reins or pushchair though because at 2 even if you have talked about how important holding hands is etc they still have minds of their own, no sense of danger and no impulse control.

I'm totally on the thank fuck it's not me team.

Yep. Wry smile of deep sympathy.

I’ll never forget the lovely (older) woman who, on a day when DS1 had lost the plot (and couldn’t simply be taken home because there was no food and DH was at work). Said gently to me in the supermarket, ‘never mind, dear, you’re doing really well, we’ve all been there’.

My youngest is just over 2 and I do all our grocery shopping online, I plan it so I don't need any top ups most weeks but if there's something the recipe really needs then I'll shop during her nap (naps in her buggy). When she drops her nap she'll have started preschool so I'd shop then, or use the same-day delivery services. I buy all non-food stuff online - sometime I'll do an order collection while she's with me which usually takes max 10 mins, buy wouldn't spend ages browsing. She gets very antsy stuck in the buggy for too long and can escape the harness, so I just don't put myself through it.

Like most parents, I suspect, I just think "Glad we are past those days" and try to arrange my face into a sympathetic look.

However, I would also be wondering why he wasn't wearing reins, in truth.