Parents judging my work related choices

[tp4645]

My parents think they know better than me. They are asking me, my dh or my dc if I'm going back to work already...

I've never not worked. I have been self employed since having dc. My parents don't understand/ they disregard my little online shop.
Yes, I don't make much money but this is what is right for me on balance at the moment. I'm doing almost all of the childcare (and happy to) and everything around the house. If I worked outside the house after travel + childcare expenses I expect I'd be making the same amount I'm making now.

I obviously keep scrolling for jobs and reviewing my options every now and then and am not saying things won't change soon. But these are my circumstances and these are mine (and dh) decisions we've taken.

My parents' comments can be very hurtful for various reasons, one of them being I was supporting them financially when I was younger+ I have zero childcare or financial support from them (or anybody else).

My dad asked my dc today again 'when is mummy going back to work' and I took the phone (video conversation) and replied (calmly) that I do work and it's a very important work at that.

But he will ask again...

Any communication tips as to how to hold my boundary firm with this without getting into an argument.

I'm too tired from all I do to justify myself to parents who think I don't do anything.

Well you could always say, maybe you like to have your grandchildren xyz days a week so I could work as childcare is to expensive. Unless they would actually do that, would they help in that way. I know ours wouldn't.

We live in different countries @MigGirl

Their idea of parenting is very much based on what they experienced as parents in the eighties, when part of a large community.
Not sure they'll ever understand how much more effort and intention I put in my parenting, how much more intense can it be when it's just your little family unit.

They clearly taught me to be a people (parent) pleaser though. I'd love to not be bothered about their opinion.

My dad asked my dc today again 'when is mummy going back to work' and I took the phone (video conversation) and replied (calmly) that I do work and it's a very important work at that

'Dad, if you have something you want to say to me about my choices can you say it to me and not via my child? thanks.'

In my experience you have to be blunt to the point of borderline rude with people who won't give it a rest. So tell your dad you don't appreciate the question, that you have no childcare help from them or anyone else and childcare is expensive, that you are happy with your job and do work. I would be careful not to overshare details of your finances or moan to them.

Yes, I have tried to explain my decision in simple terms but as the years go on they seem to be more disapproving.
Not sure if it's not understanding e-commerce (they never bought anything online), not believing I'm making some money out of it, or they are disappointed that that's what I'm doing after two degrees (self financed)...

The sceptic in me thinks he needs me to be 'more important' professionally so he can one-up his friends when they are talking about their children...?!