Am I too nice for my own good? Fed up!

[1wokeuplikethis]

Examples:

my daughter is too poorly to attend a show we’d booked as a family tomorrow night, I’m disappointed but ITS OK SHE CANT HELP BEING POORLY AND IM SAD SHE FEELS ROTTEN, plus I’ve got a friend and her son coming instead. Tickets cost £50 and she asked for my bank details but I said JUST SEND ME £30

me and a colleague went for the same job, she did the interview via teams, I went to the big office in person. No notes were allowed. She got one more point than me and therefore got the job BUT SHE IS SO NICE AND IF I CHALLENGE THE UNFAIRNESS OF THE DIFFERENT INTERVIEW SETUPS I WILL LOOK JEALOUS IM SURE SOMETHING GOOD WILL WORK FOR ME SOON

went away with friends the other weekend and a couple got into a huge fight and spoiled one whole evening so the next morning I said UNDERSTAD YOU WERE DRUNK AND ARGUMENTS HAPPEN BUT CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A NICE DAY TODAY AND MOVE ON

like, just always being such a nice, nice person and so reasonable but feel like I squash my feelings for the sake of others all of the time. I’m so vanilla and measured but inside I am raging. Just feeling so tired of being Mrs Nicey Nice. I’ve got lots of friends, but other than that it doesn’t feel like it gets me very far. Friends will prob argue again and didn’t even apologise. I might not get another job. I’m out of pocket. Why am I not putting myself first?

I think all these example seem pretty normal tbh. It’s fine to be annoyed you didn’t get the job, having worked with HR it’s formally down to the points but that’s really just a reflection of how suitable the interviewer thinks you are. You are sensible enough to not complain about it as there is no point and it would make you look bad. That’s not being too nice.

Giving a discount to a friend for a last minute show is what most friends do and isn’t being too nice.

People have a bit too much to drink and argue, most people forget about time next day, it would be odd to hold a grudge especially if you weren’t part of the argument.

I don’t think any of these things make you sound too nice, just things the majority of people would do.

The fact that you are fed up and admit to suppressing your rage would indicate that yes you are indeed too nice. Put yourself first once in a while and stick your head above the parapet.

feel like I squash my feelings for the sake of others all of the time The first step is being honest with yourself. You might not choose to tell anyone any of how you feel, but being honest about things to yourself is important.