Being labelled as defensive at work

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

Today, my manager labelled me as defensive in front of the open plan office and something is really not sitting right with me about it.

Basically there's me, a colleague and my manager in our team. My colleague has only been there since Jan and is coming on well but does make mistakes (which isn't unexpected there is a lot to learn)
What's irritating me at the moment is that when my colleague makes a mistake, my manager talks about it as if I have also made the mistake. She did it again today and when carrying out a task, she thought I had done the same error my colleague has been doing. I said no, I haven't, I did it "x" way and she said she wanted me to check given the last few issues that's happened

I was checking it but at the same time saying I had done it correctly (I had) and then she told me not to get defensive. I said "when I'm being asked a question, it's not defensive to say I hadn't done something wrong!" And then she said "so it's just me and colleague then" insinuating I mean it's only them who make mistakes and she was clearly annoyed at the conversation and said to move on, which we did.

So now I'm pondering about it. I am pretty bloody good at what I do so I don't want to be lumped in the same bucket as someone making mistakes as a blanket as "the team make errors". I am work proud and honestly very very rarely make a mistake and if I do, I own up.
So firstly, I don't want my manager to just ignore the fact my colleague is making mistakes and thinks of it as me and her making mistakes.
I secondly, don't want to be labelled as defensive when I'm trying to defend(!) myself from being wrongly accused of making a mistake.

I understand my whole post is defensive so I'm looking for tips on how to have addressed this without coming across as defensive.... Tricky!

Like, if someone is accused of committing a crime they didn't do, they would hire a defense lawyer and say they didn't do it. So I'm also not sure about why being seen as defensive is such a negative thing.

I honestly don't think I could be bothered trying to justify myself in this situation. Your manager sounds either uninterested, thick, or both - you would be wasting your time.

I think you should carry on working to your high standard, but look for another job where you'll be appreciated. Just be sure to keep a record of your low error rate in case this comes up in appraisals.

You are right that you shouldn't be lumped in with others unless you've genuinely done the same thing. Your manager sounds a bit useless, presumably trying to raise an issue without having a difficult 1-1 conversation.

How you respond though can be 'defensive' in tone - this might not be helpful for you.

I think rather than saying 'I didn't do it' - it might be seen as more positive to say 'oh, I can see how that would happen, what I do to make sure that error doesn't creep in is...'

Offer to share your experience, could you create a flow chart for the team in a bid to lower the error rate? Or offer to run a training session? Or something similar.

I agree it can be frustrating to think people think you're making errors but in a work environment it's better to try and turn it into a positive.

Is she actually saying "you both have made this mistake" or "when you do this, please can you make sure that you...."?

Because I suspect what she's trying to do is correct the mistakes without making a big thing that "SHE" has got it wrong. She's trying to not make a big thing of it - probably because it's not a big thing.

I've done it with the dc, mentioned something that I've known one of them has done in a general way: "Can you make sure you put the toilet roll on the holder, not balanced on top?"
I'm not bothered that much they did it. I certainly don't need to know who did it. I just want to make a quick comment in the hope that they don't do it again.
What I really don't want to get into is a conversation of "It wasn't me" "Ds came out and it was like that..." because that turns a quick "please" into unnecessary confrontation and indignant feelings. They're also far less likely to remember to do it if everyone has got upset, and accused people of doing it.

I agree it can be frustrating to think people think you're making errors but in a work environment it's better to try and turn it into a positive.

My husband said this too.
The issue is the error is so simple that it doesn't need flowcharts etc it just needs time to take things carefully not hap-dash!
I thought about a workaround to stop it from happening which I think I will suggest although I'm loathe to do so as it will create more work for us all.
However if I am going to make the change I will try and incorporate other stuff in to make it more worthwhile.

I'm also annoyed other people in the office heard the conversation and I feel embarrassed.

My husband also said this and to a degree I think it's right. She is a new manager and my colleague is new so I'm sure she knows fine well who is making the mistake but it seems unjust that I don't make the error and she's asking me to double check my work.

If my colleague keeps making mistakes though, I'd hope my manager pulls her up on it rather than this "cover all" to chicken out of a difficult situation.

What I really don't want to get into is a conversation of "It wasn't me" "Ds came out and it was like that..." because that turns a quick "please" into unnecessary confrontation and indignant feelings.

That's exactly what you'd get if you tried that approach with me, and I'm 50! I'm surprised your DC tolerate this from you.

I'm also annoyed other people in the office heard the conversation and I feel embarrassed. In these circs, I think defend away!

Manager sounds useless.

You could just say something dead flat like 'I don't feel comfortable discussing this with an audience, it makes it necessary to explain I haven't made the error'.

I can understand why this is frustrating but if you hadn’t made a fuss about it in the open plan office in front of others then you wouldn’t have had to check your work and got embarrassed.
I would find a way to have a private conversation with your manager to try and clear up why this bothers you and to see what her take on it really is.
I agree that this was probably a way to try and make your new colleague feel less bad.

Your manager should have pulled you both aside in private. I don't care if its easier for her to suggest you both are to blame rather than have a difficult conversation. It isn't fair on you / the person who isn't making the mistake. And it doesn't hold accountable the person who is making the mistake. Tell her how you're feeling and suggest what you'd prefer her to do next time. I'd be pissed off and embarrassed too.