Views on this?

[RLGx]

So I just seen a comment on a video, it was a video about keep your kids safe from predators etc. this comment said

”protect your daughters from their brothers. Better safe than sorry. Don’t let them be alone together.”

I feel so awful for this person and their experience. My heart breaks for them that someone they trusted and loved did this to them.

Reading it I’m a bit upset and it’s made me think personally as I have a 3yo son and my daughter is 1. They love eachother so much and really play together now watching their bond is amazing. I didn’t think that leaving them alone is an issue, I mean DH shared a room with his sister growing up, his brothers kids (boy and girl) do also.

So is it okay to leave them alone? I didn’t think it would be a bad thing

of course understand the commenters POV it’s horrifying what happened to her x

I don’t understand why you’re taking the opinion of an internet random, as expressed in the comments to a video, so seriously. People online think The Matrix is real, the earth is flat, Genesis is literally true, and that the desires of people with gender body dysmorphia or autogynophilia should trump women’s hard-fought rights.

I have a son (27) and a daughter (25). They have been alone together thousands of times, shared rooms on holiday etc. Nothing bad has EVER happened!

Sounds like the person who wrote that comment has had a bad thing happen to them, but please don't think about it anymore, it's not common!

Name changed for this.
I was sexually abused by my brother from a young age , my mother eventually found out I think because he tried to involve ndn children. My mother blamed me. I was treated like dog shit on their shoes for ever afterwards. He was the golden child.
He even tried twice more, once when I was a teen and thankfully an aunt stepped in before anything happened ( my mother was prepared to leave us alone at night in an isolated caravan) Much later he tried to persuade, even bully me to send my dd, alone, as “granny wanted her to stay”.( he still lived with parents at 40) Needless to say she never went near him.
Would I be at all suspicious of my grandson being alone with younger granddaughter? Not at all. They’ve been brought up completely differently to how I was dragged up. I’d trust him with her life and I speak as a woman who is still wary and cautious of men.
It’s down to individuals, knowing the children and how they’ve been brought up.
Just my experience, I’m not an expert or a psychologist, and where there is the slightest doubt ir concern error on the side of caution.

Yes, of course, it's okay to leave them alone together. This person's experience is awful and I do feel for them. But the reality is that abusers are everywhere - truly in places you would never guess. You absolutely have people close to you who are abusing children and your dc will absolutely have friends who are being abused by people they trust. Until it happened to people all around me, I never would have guessed we could have people 'like that' in our inner circle either.

But because they are truly everywhere and hiding in plain sight, the reality is that if you want your children to have a normal life, you can't wrap them in bubble wrap and prevent them from having playdates or eventually sleepovers just because of some nameless faceless fear. What you do need to do is to (a) trust your intuition, if something or someone doesn't feel right, listen to your gut and (b) keep communication open with your child, so they know they can talk to you about anyone or anything that makes them uncomfortable, and (c) model appropriate boundary setting for them - if someone is pushing boundaries, speak up, push back, tell them it's inappropriate and let your dc see you do this. So often we try to tell kids they need to speak up about things, but then they see us just play nice and not speak up ourselves when other adults don't respect our boundaries. If you model that expectation of safety and respect for them, they'll find it a lot easier to stand up for themselves.