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School didn’t call me about a broken bone

266 replies

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 19:31

DS (8) fell at school this morning around 10am, witnessed by a teacher and TA. Was in a lot of pain, couldn’t wiggle fingers let alone write. They don’t contact me at all. We are in an and e and it’s broken and he may need surgery. I’m fuming he’s been in agony all day with no pain relief, and potentially made it worse.

what on earth do I say to school? I’m absolutely livid. He only started there in January due to physical violence from classmates at his old school. We were both so happy with the new school and now I’m fucking furious! Is there someone I should be informing, council maybe?

OP posts:
FairFuming · 03/06/2024 20:00

You need to find out what's happened to him first and try to calm down enough to be rational. (I know this isn't easy) Then right a very polite but clearly angry email requesting a full account of how they treated him and why no one thought a 8 year old who was no longer able to write or use his arm was just left in his class. And then take it as high as you need to yo get answers. I'd be beyond furious in your situation. Your poor child, I hope he's ok and you get seen quickly.

WappityWabbit · 03/06/2024 20:03

HcbSS · 03/06/2024 19:42

What do you hope to achieve by raving at the council/school. You can’t turn back time and undo what’s happened. What do you expect to get out of it? Focus on your child and don’t become that parent and mess up his chances in what you call a good school. Politely enquire about what’s happened but fgs don’t make a fool of yourself.

Bloody hell. I sincerely hope you don't teach or have young children because you clearly lack empathy. 😮

OP: find out if they've completed an accident report and go from there. If they haven't, I'd be taking the matter much further as this is a basic safe guarding failure.

I hope your poor boy feels better soon.

greengreyblue · 03/06/2024 20:04

I’m a first aider at school. The level of pain and lack of use would warrant a call home. We can’t know if it’s broken of course but would describe to the parent and leave the decision to them. If they could not get to school we would try to alleviate pain by using support/sling but they wouldn’t be able to write obviously. Definitely worth an email to the HT in the morning. However, the outcome probably wouldn’t have been different. Hope they recover quickly.

Smartiepants79 · 03/06/2024 20:04

But they haven’t deliberately left him with a broken bone. And they didn’t keep it from you either.
You must know that even a experienced doctor can’t always tell if a bone is broken.
Some children also have a tendency towards the dramatic. I’m not suggesting that this is true for your son but it does happen.
Go and calmly inform them of the outcome and ask them to review their first aid procedures. Who saw him, what did he tell them, what was done for him.

greengreyblue · 03/06/2024 20:05

They did keep the accident from her. At the very least there should’ve been a chat at home time.

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 20:07

Smartiepants79 · 03/06/2024 20:04

But they haven’t deliberately left him with a broken bone. And they didn’t keep it from you either.
You must know that even a experienced doctor can’t always tell if a bone is broken.
Some children also have a tendency towards the dramatic. I’m not suggesting that this is true for your son but it does happen.
Go and calmly inform them of the outcome and ask them to review their first aid procedures. Who saw him, what did he tell them, what was done for him.

There was zero communication about an accident or injury. Ok they might not have 100% known it was broken but someone in enough pain to not be able to wiggle fingers or carry a bag after a witnessed fall would surely raise suspicion

OP posts:
FuckTheClubUp · 03/06/2024 20:07

HcbSS · 03/06/2024 19:42

What do you hope to achieve by raving at the council/school. You can’t turn back time and undo what’s happened. What do you expect to get out of it? Focus on your child and don’t become that parent and mess up his chances in what you call a good school. Politely enquire about what’s happened but fgs don’t make a fool of yourself.

Don’t become ‘that parent’ yet OP’s child may need surgery? And she wasn’t informed of this? So when do you think is a suitable time to become that parent?

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowItHaveAGin · 03/06/2024 20:08

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 20:00

I think I’m just upset how much pain he’s been in and I was completely unaware. The old school would always call and let us know if there was an accident they weren’t sure about so we could collect or speak to child. But it wasn’t even mentioned it when I collected him

Op, send an email to the school now explaining that he won't be in and needs an operation.

Then go and pack bags, sort out work, and do all the practical stuff that needs doing, make sure you pack snacks and things for yourself too.

The school stuff will still be there to deal with in a few days once he's had his operation and is settled back at home.

Hope it all goes well and he gets home soon 💐

jannier · 03/06/2024 20:12

HcbSS · 03/06/2024 19:42

What do you hope to achieve by raving at the council/school. You can’t turn back time and undo what’s happened. What do you expect to get out of it? Focus on your child and don’t become that parent and mess up his chances in what you call a good school. Politely enquire about what’s happened but fgs don’t make a fool of yourself.

Improve things for other children

Tumbleweed101 · 03/06/2024 20:12

Talk to the school. Tell them it is broken and that you want full details about the incident. They should do an investigation and tell you what happened and as it is a broken bone they will need to inform ofsted themselves.

If you are happy with how it is handled after you speak to them then do nothing. If they seem to be brushing it off you can inform ofsted.

It can be tricky to know how badly injured a child is unless they really talk to a teacher about it. Some children are good at hiding things from adults. I'd see what the school says first and take it from there.

jannier · 03/06/2024 20:13

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 20:00

I think I’m just upset how much pain he’s been in and I was completely unaware. The old school would always call and let us know if there was an accident they weren’t sure about so we could collect or speak to child. But it wasn’t even mentioned it when I collected him

Head, governors and Ofsted ...the school should report broken bones but often don't

MargaretThursday · 03/06/2024 20:14

Is he a quiet get on with it type?

Because ds broke his arm playing football aged 15yo in PE. He came out, and I spotted from across the car park that I knew immediately it was broken.

By 9:30 the next morning I'd had two phone calls from teachers, both horrified, but also surprised in equal measures. They said they'd done all the normal tests for broken arms and he'd been fine with them all. He'd told them it didn't really hurt and he finished the football match (playing goalie). And he'd done the last two lessons of school, and said he didn't need to go to medical.
I told them that. Firstly ds will avoid medical attention if he can get away with it. Secondly he has a high pain threshold (with appendicitis his pain out of 10 varied between 2 and 4, and he was nearly sent home again) and thirdly he wouldn't want to miss any football so wouldn't want to stop and he will deny any injuries in front of others.
I am totally confident that the teachers did all they could and it was not their fault at all.
And apparently it was a very good save too.... that's the main thing he cared about.

He would actively go out of his way to prevent a teacher (or anyone) realising (as dd1 would. Dd2 would be more likely to be at medical and suggesting she was better at home for a paper cut...) So it can be hard for a teacher to know.

You can say the teachers knew he wasn't writing. But was it in a "I'm in far too much pain to write" or a "quietly doing anything except getting on with work" because that's what ds does more often than when he's broken his arm!

And there's an aspect of knowing the child. The PE teachers then knew that if they were in any doubt with ds he needed to be checked out - even so he managed to hide from them a gash from a stud a few weeks after he was able to play again. (according to him it didn't need cleaning as it was "clean mud"), but he was quite disgusted to be sent for a check up another time when he said "it hardly touched me". They wouldn't have sent him to be checked if they hadn't been aware of this.

It's also from seeing it in ds, he did get worse. So what initially looked like a brief "ouch", then started swelling and he would have found convincing the teacher later that it wasn't a problem a lot harder.

What I suggest you do, rather than getting stressed is start off by factually informing them that his arm was broken at school.
See their reaction.
If they brush it off, then ask to meet with the teacher and find out what happened from their point of view.

Accidents happen, things are missed by parents as well as teachers. A positive relationship between you and the teacher looking at how to move forward so such a thing isn't missed another time is a good thing.
Sometimes lessons do need to be learnt, but going in with a "work it out together" attitude is far more likely to get the right lessons learnt than going in aggressively.

neilyoungismyhero · 03/06/2024 20:18

It's probably my age but I sometimes feel I'm in a parallel universe on here..a PP saying don't go in to school complaining - you'll compromise your child and dont make a fool of yourself..wtf? The child was crying on and off all day, his friend sat with him at lunch time due to his injury. He was unable to wiggle his fingers and couldn't write after the incident. No one advised the parents and just ignored the situation. The school have a duty of care to their pupils. If they aren't prepared to or are unable to deal with the issue then parents should be called. It's why they have chapter and verse regarding parental contact details surely?
No, the OP shouldn't go raging in obviously but if it were me I would certainly be offering my opinion on the matter that's for sure.

rainbowstardrops · 03/06/2024 20:19

If the situation is exactly as you've described and your son cried, couldn't wiggle his fingers or write then of course you should have been informed. At my school we would have definitely contacted you.
We have to document every incident/injury and I'd be surprised if this school doesn't. We only have to contact parent/carer for every head injury or obviously, more serious injuries.
We obviously don't know the full circumstances but I can only hazard a guess that your son masked his pain and the staff didn't realise. I hope your boy feels better soon but I'd definitely be asking to speak to the HT and find out what the teacher and TA did in the situation and how things unfolded.

LondonFox · 03/06/2024 20:41

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 20:00

I think I’m just upset how much pain he’s been in and I was completely unaware. The old school would always call and let us know if there was an accident they weren’t sure about so we could collect or speak to child. But it wasn’t even mentioned it when I collected him

That.
School could have missed broken bone but they should 100% notified you about your childs injury and him rying in pain on multiple occassions.
Hope the surgery goes well tomorrow!

Dryplate · 03/06/2024 20:45

I think you don't know what happened. Obviously something's gone wrong and they may need to review their policies and procedures, butnita highly unlikely anyone deliberately left him in pain. IME schools are over cautious about these things, if anything.

You need to tell the school what's happened Calmy ask them to investigate why you weren't contacted.

Fwiw, I was the first aid lady who missed something at school and I should have done better, but the child, who was old enough to tell me properly. was really minimising.

NancyJoan · 03/06/2024 20:47

It’s seems hugely unlikely they knew it was broken and just didn't bother to call you. Why would they keep it secret?

Don’t approach this by charging innraging/furious/fuming; tell them he’s got a broken bone, ask them to explain what happened.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 03/06/2024 20:51

Teacher here. I'm.100% sure you weren't informed on purpose. A million and one things happen on yard and in a classroom.
I remember something similar happened to me. I literally spend any minute I have to spare writing emails to inform parents of any issues.
One boy (who was needy&always complaining of something) told me he hurt his foot on yard. I got distracted and it completely, completely slipped my mind to tell parent. She gave me a telling off but when you have 30 children, it's hard to know what's a serious injury and what's not.

idontknowaboutyou · 03/06/2024 20:59

School missed a broken bone with my son. Head teacher called me in for a meeting where she handed me her arse, apologised profusely and spoke about where they went wrong and how they would rectify that going forwards.

They were very attentive to him from that point on.

Chersfrozenface · 03/06/2024 21:00

OP, I'm sure you will when you get a chance, but do tell his friend how much you appreciate him trying to help and comfort your son.

hardyloveit · 03/06/2024 21:04

This is a safeguarding!

The fact they didn't even call you when he was crying in pain and couldn't write - alarm bells are going off.

Most schools so accident forms for all accidents not just head injuries.

StMarieforme · 03/06/2024 21:14

Tigerbreadbum · 03/06/2024 19:35

They only do accident forms for head injuries.

apparently he cried a few times and his teacher was aware he could t write for the rest of the day

If this is actually true then you need to report them to the HSE as it's illegal.

sprigatito · 03/06/2024 21:18

BoundaryGirl3939 · 03/06/2024 20:51

Teacher here. I'm.100% sure you weren't informed on purpose. A million and one things happen on yard and in a classroom.
I remember something similar happened to me. I literally spend any minute I have to spare writing emails to inform parents of any issues.
One boy (who was needy&always complaining of something) told me he hurt his foot on yard. I got distracted and it completely, completely slipped my mind to tell parent. She gave me a telling off but when you have 30 children, it's hard to know what's a serious injury and what's not.

Nah. Teacher here, too. I get so fed up of the "30 children" line being trotted out to justify negligent, slovenly practice. This school managed to miss a child in visible distress all day, unable to play or do schoolwork because he was in pain. His friend supported him because the staff in loco parentis dropped the ball. This school isn't even completing accident forms! There are no excuses for that. OP should be furious.

Februaryfeels · 03/06/2024 21:18

SwordToFlamethrower · 03/06/2024 19:43

Sue the bastards to oblivion.

Is this a joke that's gone over my head?

Spirallingdownwards · 03/06/2024 21:19

HcbSS · 03/06/2024 19:42

What do you hope to achieve by raving at the council/school. You can’t turn back time and undo what’s happened. What do you expect to get out of it? Focus on your child and don’t become that parent and mess up his chances in what you call a good school. Politely enquire about what’s happened but fgs don’t make a fool of yourself.

Maybe she expects them to up their game next time and not ignore a child who is clearly in pain and unable to use their hand due to a broken bone. Maybe she expects them to record accidents properly next time.
Maybe she expects them to actually speak to the parent at the time. Maybe she expects them to speak to the parent on collection.

Maybe she expects them to act accordingly. I would be raising with the head and following their complaints procedure.

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