To inspire us all!
Tell me about a time where you successfully asserted your boundaries.
Mine was a few years ago with a (now former) friend who had 2 DDs. I have 1 DD and a DS. This friend was bursting with pride about being a ‘girl mum’ - which is fine. But she spoke about boys in very low terms to her kids, very much had a “girls are way better than boys” attitude and her DDs were very hostile to my DS. Her DDs would say all boys are smelly and would tell my DS (who would have been 3/4 at the time) that he smelt. Once when he was 4 he played inside her youngest DD’s (also 4) cosy coupe and she said “I’m never ever getting inside it again because it’s had a boy’s smelly bum on it”. My friend thought this was hilarious. It was also little things like if her DDs were handing out sweets they’d have to be forced to give one to my DS because “I’m not giving a sweet to a boy!”
Anyway we took the kids to Center Parcs for 3 nights, and at this point I was really getting fed up of the low level ‘smelly boys’ attitude but we’d booked it ages ago at this point. I’d spoken to my friend saying it’s not my DS’s fault he’s a boy and the comments have to stop to which she agreed
Anyway on the first day we’d bought a pack of 4 watermelon lollies for the freezer. The girls had all eaten theirs and my DS (4 at the time) was saving his for later. My friend’s 8yo came through after dinner and asked her mum “is there another ice lolly I can have?” and she said yes, there’s ones more. My DS was actually outside eating the lolly at this point and I told her this. The 8yo was furious and started moaning and stamping her feet about my son, saying “Well mum just said that ice lolly was mine”! I said no it’s not yours, there’s 4 lollies and 4 kids, so 1 each and you wouldn’t like it if someone stole your ice lolly when they’d already had one. The 8yo said my DS didn’t deserve an ice lolly.
Perhaps to break the tension, I don’t know, but my friend then said to her DD “He’s outside, just go and hit him until he pukes it up then it can be yours” then immediately turned to me and said “Joking joking it’s just a joke!”
I packed up, took my kids home and blocked her. Didn’t even listen to her apologies or explanations, it was a hard line she crossed. She tried to make up by messaging my DH passing an apology on but I’ve never spoken to her since. It’s a shame as she was a lifelong friend but no way was I going to tolerate that toxic attitude around my son.