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What’s the worst thing you have done to someone?

3 replies

Fireflyfly · 01/06/2024 18:12

A dark one . Have you ever done something that haunts you , made a mistake that eats you up ?

Do you believe in karma ? Has karma got you ?

I’ll start …

When I was 17 me and my friend found a new group of friends and in that group was a boy who we both liked. We both flirted but ultimately it was her and him who got together . Me and him got on really well and I did originally feed myself the narrative that we were meant to be and we fell in love . But , what actually happened was that he had no problems cheating on her and I convinced myself that we were star crossed lovers and she was a horrible girlfriend. That wasn’t true , looking back I liked the attention and I tried to convince myself I was living some kind of soap opera. I didn’t think of her I was selfish and only thought of myself . We cheated on her , on and off for about 3 months . We never actually slept together - I was still a virgin - but we would sneak off at the end of the night , usually back to his and just kiss and tell each other how much we wanted to be together . I had drifted away from his girlfriend and she wasn’t really a part of the group any more . I then met someone else and that was that . A few years later , after a relationship and a child I was single again and so was he ( or so I thought ) . In my defence at this point I I was older and wiser and would never have knowingly cheated , his friends told me that they had split up . It was before Facebook so I had no way of knowing what she was up to we had completely lost contact . We slept together twice and I thought it may lead somewhere but then I found out that he was actually still with her ( also seeing someone else ) . I cut him off as soon as I knew . I sent him a barrage of abuse and told him he didn’t deserve her and he didn’t deserve anyone . He simply ignored me . At this point it wasn’t a teen relationship - they were still together so it would have been 10 years they had been together and it wasn’t just kissing. I considered telling her but I had no idea how I would get in touch and as we had got up to stuff when we were younger , when I was completely guilty , I decided to save my own skin . A few years later I heard they had had 2 children , I saw her with her children whilst I was out with mine - she didn’t talk to me just looked at me and away and I knew from her eyes that she knew .

Fast forward a few years after that - I’m happily married with the love of my life and he cheated on me, a fling not a one off , I already felt guilt but at that point , feeling that pain where I felt like someone had ripped my heart out and stamped all over it …. Well the guilt I felt . I felt disgusting . That I had done that to someone else . Admittedly when I slept with him as far as I were aware , they weren’t together , but they were when we were younger and we cheated and I just honestly felt like the worst person ever . To think that I have caused that pain to another person will never leave me . I genuinely believe that was my karma . The universe repaid me and I do believe I deserved it . In fact ever since that happened I have done everything I can to try and be a good person - I don’t believe I’m a bad person , but I sometimes can’t deal with the thought that I was responsible for that level of pain for another human being and someone who was my friend and never did anything to me to deserve it . I honestly believe I had to experience that pain , I had to reap what I sowed so to speak . I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself .

OP posts:
Gazelda · 01/06/2024 18:44

Are you still with 'the love of your life'? I'd strongly recommend focussing on your recovery from his cheating rather than on why you might have deserved it.

I don't believe in karma. You were a teen when you first betrayed your friend. You should have known better, but you were young and naive. You were older the second time, but didn't know he was in a relationship. I think you need to acknowledge you made a mistake with someone who caused hurt to his partner. That's all. Nothing else to feel guilt over.

As I said, focus on your own situation. I know how much it hurts to be cheated on. Take care of yourself, stop beating yourself up.

LizTruss · 01/06/2024 18:53

Told the world that Boris' dog had infected 10 Downing Street with fleas...
...actually was pretty sure at the time that it was Larry the Cat!

Still haunts me, but at least it's the only misjudgement I made. 🙏

Fireflyfly · 02/06/2024 12:25

Gazelda · 01/06/2024 18:44

Are you still with 'the love of your life'? I'd strongly recommend focussing on your recovery from his cheating rather than on why you might have deserved it.

I don't believe in karma. You were a teen when you first betrayed your friend. You should have known better, but you were young and naive. You were older the second time, but didn't know he was in a relationship. I think you need to acknowledge you made a mistake with someone who caused hurt to his partner. That's all. Nothing else to feel guilt over.

As I said, focus on your own situation. I know how much it hurts to be cheated on. Take care of yourself, stop beating yourself up.

Thank you .

Yes , we are still together . It was a few years ago now and we went through marriage counselling etc . I don’t believe I deserved it in terms of it was my fault or anything like that and I have never spoke to my husband about this or about feeling it was karma . I know that I was a good, supportive wife and there is no excuse for what he did to me.

However , I do feel that the pain I felt was a form of karma for what I inflicted on her . I know that I I didn’t consciously cheat the second time , but I did when younger and that really does haunt me x

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