Total self pity - son moving out

[SelfpityIncoming321]

I know this is how things should be, I am so, so proud of the man that my baby boy has become, I really am, but I need a little minute to just wallow.

He was badly bullied at school, so I home schooled from 13, he went to college to get qualifications, has completed 4 years and has got himself onto a brilliant uni course, I am actually amazed at what he's pulled himself through, including nursing me through cancer, looking after his siblings, working and college at the same time.

He is my absolute hero and an inspiration to his siblings.

What am I going to do without him though?

It's so hard to imagine a day without seeing him.

It's going to be amazing for him to get away from here and start fresh, he is going to smash his course, and do brilliantly in life, but, I am going to miss him so very much.

I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling just now, and I can't think about his room being empty without bursting into tears.

Man this parenting adults thing is hard and confusing and heartbreaking and exciting and full of pride all at once.

Any tips from seasoned pros of this adult kid malarkey?

Give yourself a pat on the back OP. You'll be okay, its hard but you bring them up to fly the nest. You did good.

It's his time.
To be brilliant and to some extent carefree
He will be back holidays
You aren't losing him he sounds like a devoted son

But it's his turn for him to love laugh grow

Enjoy his next chapter for him just as he has done so much for you

He is an amazing son, and he absolutely deserves every good thing life has to offer him. He's done so well in spite of me, not because of me, I wish I could rewind time and be a better mum, he really deserves so much more.

He's got himself a flat rather than student accommodation, and a job, so he won't be back for all the holidays, which is going to be amazing for him. Fresh start, new life, and the world is his oyster.

I'm so excited to see where his life takes him.

It just goes by so damned fast.

Sounds like you’ve done a great job OP! You will adjust. There will be so many exciting and wonderful things that he is going to be telling you about and sharing with you - it will be fine. I wondered how I’d cope when my DD left home for uni, I wallowed for a while but she was so excited about life that it just rubbed off on me too! I live a great life myself but also live vicariously through her and my DS. Like I said you will adjust but accept it’ll take a bit of time. Feel the sadness and let that joy in too.

I've spoken to a couple of people irl who's kids moved to uni, and they both looked at me like I was mad and said they were delighted to have the house back/extra space, and I just don't feel like that at all.

I am so excited for him, he is going to thrive in a new area, and on his course, and in his new job.

It's just a weird transition period from being a Mum seeing my boy daily, into whatever happens next for him.

Regardless, I'll be his biggest cheerleader, and I'll be there whenever he needs me (well, within 6 hours anyway).

Its just so odd to think that it will be weekly messages or whatever he has time for now, when I'm so used to a daily gossip session 🤣

Millions of parents do this every year, so clearly there's some way of wrapping my head around it, it's just hard to see how atm.

I guess it will hit me in a couple of months when he actually goes.

It is hard. I found the first few weeks I couldn't go in my daughter's room without feeling upset and it felt like time went so slowly.

But after her first visit home it got easier and now it feels normal. We message every day, chat on the phone regularly and I love sending the odd treat through the post.
We're still close in a lot of ways, it's just different.
You'll be fine xxx

Ah it's tough. We put on a brave face and of course we are happy that they have grown up and are moving on but it's hard.
You will be sad but you'll get over it. When he comes home you'll be thrilled and then when he leaves again it's just as hard. Took me ages to reach the point of getting used to it but it does get easier especially once you see him being happy and achieving success.