How much validation do you need?

[Holluschickie]

I have come to the conclusion that I need more validation in my life. But I don't think I am alone. For many people I know, it takes the form of posting rather excessively- I think- on social media. Stuff with #blessed#thrilled#overcometrauma.

I have so far resisted that temptation. though occasionally I feel the need to do the same.

My job is ok, but doesn't give me much validation. It's a sort of invisible job. Ditto, my family, all with very busy lives..

How do you get validation?

Do you mean that you feel your efforts go unappreciated or that you are looking for people to support your choices?

I don't know really. A bit of both. I feel menopause, DC growing up,WFH and the pandemic has something to do with this all. A sort of nebulous feeling?

If by "validation" you mean you need to get other people to confirm what you already think about your life, then one of the few good things about aging is that you start to care less and less for the opinion of others as regards your own daily life.

Hmm.... I agree I don't care about what people think of me that much. I am not anxious when public speaking ( I used to be) or attending a party where I know no one. But I think that's a different thing?

Personally I don't really need to seek validation from other people, I have a great life with my husband, friends and family

I think the people that constantly seek it through social media are rather transparent and sad to be honest - your happiness shouldn't be dependent on others liking and commenting

I deleted everyone off my social media (I keep it for groups I am on) so don't need validation that way.
I get mine via doing a good job at work and being recognised for it.
I've also recovered from heavy drinking (now don't drink at all) and lost 6 stone. I also get validation from others saying I've inspired them.

I had some lovely feedback recently at work, that was very much appreciated. I don't seek validation about me/my choices/my lifestyle because I don't care what people think. The opinions of others is irrelevant in making my decisions. I think, if anything, posting a selfie or a holiday photo and not having 50 people fawn over you would be more hurtful than not trying to get that recognition in the first place.

I'm not someone who needs validation from other people, I never have been.

The people who turn their nose up at social media are full of crap. Everyone seeks validation somehow, it's human nature. Just because they don't do it through Facebook doesn't make them better or different to anyone else. They still do things like gardening so the neighbours will compliment their flowers. The list of examples is endless.

I hear you OP. I think it stems from being all about the kids for so long and when they need you less it leaves you a bit lost. Connecting with friends and establishing hobbies will help.

I don't think I do, as long as I believe I come across ad I mean I don't care what people think of me, others opinions of me is none of my business

I agree with this. Some seek it through social media, others in other ways like cooking elaborate meals ( my MIL) or dressing in expensive clothes. I am just wondering what might be the appropriate way to seek it.

I am probably not explaining myself very well.