Mother’s intuition

[Darkmodelight]

I’ve been listening to a podcast and they’ve been talking about how mothers can always tell if something is wrong and almost have a sixth sense about things being wrong with their children.

Now, i would consider myself a good parent and have a good relationship with my children but I don’t think i have any kind of any ESP when it comes to them.

just wondering if you do and if I’m weird for not having it.

I always know when mine's ill - plus she smells ill. And I always know when she's lying or feeling anxious or sad etc. I don't think it's ESP, I just know her.

I think I do. With illness I usually know something’s up before anyone else including DH would notice anything. I had a strong feeling last week that DD, who was at school, was upset about something. Like a pulling feeling in my chest. They’d had the first fire alarm since she started at school at that time and she was very scared.

It's not some magical connection it's simply being observant and noticing patterns of behaviour and anomalies about your own children who mothers tend to spend a lot of time with.

A bit, I think. It's probably just knowing him really well combined with coincidence.

I know when he's getting ill because he smells different (which DP can't detect) and behaves differently. I think that's pretty common though.

I did have a weird experience recently where he suddenly popped into my head while I was working, and I thought he was upset. It was school pick up time. A couple of minutes later my phone rang - it was the childminder to say he'd burst into tears when she picked him up, and said he felt ill. I knew my phone was going to ring. All very odd, but of course I wouldn't have thought of it again if she hadn't rung.

Mine are older, late teens.

So, this was more if you were away from them and something happened you'd have a hunch or feel something rather than something physical when you're with them. I'd know if they were going to get ill etc and I understand their feelings and emotions. The way they described it was something different.

I think it's partly just knowing them really well, so noticing things that are off. And then a huge amount of confirmation bias on top. People don't remember the times they've thought "hmm I've got a feeling there might be something wrong/DC might be getting ill" and it turns out to be nothing. They do remember the times they were right.

This ^^ absolutely.

If the mother was absent a lot from the child's life, she'd be very unlikely to notice any of that and intuition wouldn't help.

So, this was more if you were away from them and something happened you'd have a hunch or feel something rather than something physical when you're with them. I'd know if they were going to get ill etc and I understand their feelings and emotions. The way they described it was something different.

Yeah I’m not sure I agree with that.

Which to me is very different to noticing your dc is “off” in some way.

I remember I used to wake up in the night and think why’s that and then a few seconds later one of the babies would start crying

Depends on their examples. If they mean just randomly having a gut feeling out of nowhere that something is wrong and it happens to be true, that's one thing and a matter of opening.

If it's a matter of being able to tell something is wrong, I'm a nanny and can often pick up if a child is teething/unwell before a parent might, but that's down to experience and nothing else.

I'm 40 and this is definitely true about my mum re me. That woman knows me inside out.

My DC are still little, so it's a bit different.

My late OH was a GP - he always said one should believe the mother as a starting point - they know their own child best.

I always used to wake a few minutes before my kids would start crying in the night. I do it not only with my own children, but children I've fostered and the current baby I'm taking care of who's not blood related.

I can tell instantly from looking or talking to them that something is off but no I can't sense it from a distance. My own dm really believes she has some sort of psychic ability like this and whatever I do or say will be met with 'I knew you were ill', 'I knew you were going to ring' etc. I usually think it's actually logic e.g I normally ring her on that day at that time or she knew I had a busy week and forgot to call her /ignored messages so highly likely I would be ill.

As a baby I never had any idea whatsoever of what was wrong with mine when he cried. Didn't recognise any different cries. Now he's older and still i don't think I have any kind of sixth sense about these things. I didn't have any idea that he was autistic either even though I'd worked in special schools. I would certainly have no idea if he was away somewhere and hurt himself.

Behavioural changes I would notice. My son's are naughtier day before illness. Same goes with teen DD but she tends to look tired, be argumentative or cry over things. This is something I've noticed over the years. If I've gone to sleep anxious about them, the next day has been fine. So there is no intuition on my part.

This is so interesting to me. I have always been the same but also have always had a feeling my child had autism. I read that in mice studies, mothers cant differentiate mice with autism different cries and dont know what is wrong. Who knew mice could get autism? But interesting that you say you couldn't tell and your child has autism
I have never been able to tell what is wrong with my child even though they are frequently upset. It is one of my biggest upsets as a parent to be honest

Way to shame mothers of children being bullied or abused who did not know. I can see for some things mothers may be so familiar with their children and so observant of them that they pick up on minute differences very quickly. But there is no such thing as intuition, just rapid cognitive processing, and it is not infallible.

Definitely with my two.
I knew they were pregnant before they did..
I know when they are not well.. physically or mentally.
They are age 40 and 32 .. l knew things from them being born .