Would you diagnose - autism

[Unsuretoday]

My DS is age 10 and I've wondered if he is autistic for a number of years. He is happy, doing well at school and we are super proud of him.

He does seem to struggle socially, but often doesn't seem to notice or mind being left out.

I'm not sure if it's useful for me to list the traits which make me think he may be autistic. When I've asked his school before (he was age 7) they said lots of people have traits of autism.

Is it worth getting a diagnosis? Or since he seems totally fine, should we just leave him be?

Please get him assessed. I was 35 when I got my diagnosis. My dd 12 has been on the waiting list 3 years.

A lot of autistic children are happy enough at age 7 but find the struggles get more significant as time progresses.

Ours was happy enough and just a little quirky at 7. The struggles began to get more apparent by age 9, by age 11 they were even stronger and now at 14 I think we would be in real trouble if we hadn't sought a diagnosis 5 years ago. A diagnosis doesn't solve anything but it gives you a starting point and a toolkit to learn how to deal with the many and various challenges.

Don't assume that a child who is coping right now will continue to cope. Diagnosis pathways can take 2 years these days and 2 years is long enough for a "coping" child to become one who is totally not coping at all.

I would say start the process now as things get harder as children get older, especially socially.

I’m in Ireland so the process for getting a diagnosis will be different, but in your shoes, I’d start making enquiries now.

We’ve recently paid €700 for 2 sessions with a specialist paediatrician for my DS 15yrs who has been diagnosed with Autism. He had originally been referred by our GP 3 years ago but the referral got lost so I rang the secretary of the Hospital dept. in April and asked about arranging a private appointment to speed up the process.

He was ok in primary (early reader and excellent at Maths) but definitely has dyspraxia and couldn’t ride a bike or catch a ball. He’s just finished 2nd year of Secondary school and has struggled with his mental health really badly as he has no friends and the ones from Primary have all drifted away.

School were not bothered as in their mind, he appeared to be coping despite the fact they knew he’d suffered from some low level bullying. He really wasn’t coping and was desperate not to attend school at all and although he found the schoolwork easy, he struggled to get homework done because he found the whole thing overwhelming.

He’s like a changed person since the diagnosis as he feels it’s given him permission to just be himself. The school has acknowledged the Report and agreed to review his support arrangements for next September because he’s broken up for the summer today, thank goodness!

We’ve now got 12 weeks to get him into a better headspace by September and then hopefully ready to start his Junior Cycle exams (GCSE equiv) next June.

This does sound typically autistic. DS has ASD and used to explain jokes to us. I don't have a diagnosis but I used to write out lists of CVC words before I started school and think I am probably ND.
I wouldn't rely on school to recognise it though, ds's school were pretty clueless (apart from one teacher) they filled out his form basically saying he was completely normal. Despite this he was diagnosed in 45 minutes as it was so obvious to the assessor.
Secondary school can be very tough when you're autistic but if he is happy in his own company then it really, really helps IME. It's the kids that are desperate for friends that find it toughest I think. DS spends a lot of time reading in the library and has thrived academically.

I've asked teachers twice in the past what their thoughts were and they thought it was just his personality. Is it worth asking again? I think they are going to start thinking I'm paranoid about it.

Teachers have no qualifications on assessing children for ND. I really would encourage an assessment reading your posts. At the very least itay sign post some supports which your child may need in the teen years.

Teachers often have surprisingly out of date views of autism. Not to mention some kids can mask completely in school - this is what contributes to them having major issues once they step out of school/get home to their safe spaces.

Don't worry about seeming paranoid - you are being a great parent by advocating for your child!

I'm autistic and am also a primary school teacher.

Sometimes, when I'm completing my part of the form when a child is being put on the assessment pathway, I have a gut instinct that a child is ND but I can only record what I see and that's not always the same as a parent sees.

A child might find that the structure of a school day helps them to regulate their behaviour. Another child might mask well at school but all the pent up stress and anxiety comes out ay home and the child might have meltdowns which I don't see.

Definitely worth pushing for an assessment even if the teachers don't think there's a problem.

I wouldn't.

If he is functioning ok and has your support, see him into adulthood without it on his records.

I have super high anxiety, adhd and autism - but I will never get diagnosed. I don't want to be, I'm aware I have these problems and issues, I'm aware of my struggles but there's no way I want to be labelled. I am who I am and I have coped.

i think it would be a positive step op

@Unsuretoday

I have no idea if these are traits of autism, however just a big flag wave here.

Schools and Senco are not in any way shape or form medical people who can comment on or know the slightest thing about sen or autism.

Most teachers don't cover sen in the pgce or Senco even get trained in sen.

So perhaps doctor maybe a better call.

Ps I work in education and the staggering ignorance over sen is mind blowing, it really is.