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"Just do what normal people do..."

30 replies

Ratfinkstinkypink · 31/05/2024 12:13

This is what got shouted at me in a car park yesterday as I put my little one into the car.

We got back to our blue badge bay, I opened the tailgate and lowered the ramp, maneuvered his buggy to the foot of the ramp, attached the straps to his buggy and pushed him in and secured him down. As I came out, put the ramp away and went to close the tailgate a voice shouted at me "Can't you just do what normal people do? All that faffing about, it would be easier to just put him in a car seat like everyone else does!"

I guess it would be easier and quicker but his buggy is specialist, it's his wheelchair, it maintains his position something he cannot do on his own. I felt like telling him (the person was a man) to fuck off but I didn't I simple explained that my child is disabled and unable to use a car seat. There was no apology, no acknowledgement.

I am feeling pretty fragile at the moment, we've had a couple of really tough days, LO is unhappy about something but can't tell me what, all he can do is cry. He can't answer yes/no questions and can't tell me if he's in pain or bored or hungry or thirsty or just plain sad. I've had him checked out and there is no obvious source of pain but all he wants to do is cry or sleep. I feel bloody useless and like I am failing at life sometimes and yesterday's comment really rankled.

OP posts:
Brie2001 · 31/05/2024 12:16

Some people are just out to intimidate and belittle others who seem more vulnerable. A woman on her own caring for her disabled child. Bullseye.

NachoHat · 31/05/2024 12:17

Some people are 24 carat bastards. Don't let this twat get you down, OP. Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job with your little one, in such difficult circumstances.

I hope you get to the bottom of the crying soon, and your little one feels better. Massive virtual hug x

Blackcats7 · 31/05/2024 12:22

If you have the energy and there is cctv in the car park which might have caught this and his car number plate I would consider speaking to the police. It could well constitute a hate crime.
I am not in the camp of the permanently offended over minor things but this man approached you a woman with her child for no reason other than to shout ableist abuse. I think a stand needs taking on this behaviour.

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Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 31/05/2024 12:26

Did he not your child is disabled? Ffs, either he is a nasty scumbag or an idiot.

annabofana · 31/05/2024 12:34

Oh my goodness, what a twat, I'm so sorry.

Well done you for managing all that by yourself and doing your best for your son.

That man is a bellend, don't give him another thought.

Glittertwins · 31/05/2024 12:37

"What normal people do" is not be so bloody rude to others, what a charmer.

BoobyDazzler · 31/05/2024 12:38

You wouldn’t have been unreasonable to have told him to fuck off tbh.

ginasevern · 31/05/2024 12:41

Just when you thought men couldn't get any lower. I'm so sorry my lovely. This must have really shaken you. All I can do is send love to you and your son.

Anabella321 · 31/05/2024 12:42

What an absolute moronic gobshite. Why can't ableist idiots like him just mind their own business.

I'm so sorry that his ignorant comments have upset you. You sound like you're doing a wonderful job and your little one is lucky to have you. I hope they feel better soon and that whatever is causing the crying can be addressed. That sounds so incredibly tough for both of you, I'm so sorry :(

Simonjt · 31/05/2024 13:06

Sometimes it is okay to tell someone to fuck off.

FortunataTagnips · 31/05/2024 13:09

I’d have told him to fuck off.

CuttingMeOpenthenHealingMeFine · 31/05/2024 13:13

Brie2001 · 31/05/2024 12:16

Some people are just out to intimidate and belittle others who seem more vulnerable. A woman on her own caring for her disabled child. Bullseye.

Agree with this, some people just see someone vulnerable and can’t wait to make themselves look big and clever by sticking the boot in.

Agree a stern fuck off would shut people like this up, they won’t expect you to answer back.

saraclara · 31/05/2024 13:13

If I'd have thought quickly enough I'd have asked him why he can't do what normal people do and keep his thoughts to himself.

But if course I wouldn't have thought quickly enough. That riposte would have come to me ten minutes later.

LongIslander · 31/05/2024 13:14

You were unfortunate enough to cross the path of a pig.

Doormatnomore · 31/05/2024 14:35

People just love to share their thoughts don’t they. In darker moments I wish their life changed to the point they have to use assistive technology and the shit that goes with it. I’m sure you’re a better person than I am though.

I am sorry your son is not well, I hope you get to the bottom of it soon. That’s all that matters.

Choochoo21 · 31/05/2024 15:45

I felt like telling him (the person was a man) to fuck off but I didn't I simple explained that my child is disabled and unable to use a car seat. There was no apology, no acknowledgement.

There’s nothing these men like more than to know they’ve worked a woman up or their comments were justified.

Telling him to fuck off would have played right into his hands.

The fact that you calmly gave him the facts is absolutely amazing and not something he would have been expecting.
Go you!

I’m sorry some random man had nothing better to do than to judge a mum with a young child.
Try not to let it upset you, he’s obviously a very sad little man.

maryberryslayers · 31/05/2024 16:29

Some men literally cannot walk past something mildly out of the ordinary without making a fucking pointless random comment. See a crying child 'oooohh someone's not happy'.

I have taken to shouting 'thanks for your pointless comment random man' or 'mind your own fucking business you absolute arsehole' if my children aren't in earshot.

Keepingongoing · 31/05/2024 16:36

Oh that’s just awful OP, I’m not surprised you were shaken by that. What business of his was it, anyway, how you transport your LO? Would you really ramp a child into a car if you had a choice?

Picking on a disabled child, or their carer, really is the lowest of the low, isn’t it. I hope your LO feels better soon x

scrapsontheside · 31/05/2024 16:39

Say whilst smiling ....
Can
U
Not
Thanks
It's appears polite but makes me feel much better when ppl are being rude ;)

Whatineed · 31/05/2024 16:41

Normal people don't comment on the actions of people dealing with disabilities.

Ignore and do what's best for you OP.

gano · 31/05/2024 16:44

I'd have been tempted to retort "Can't you just do what normal people do, and mind your own fucking business".

DrunkenKoala · 31/05/2024 16:44

I'd have been tempted to ask him why he was so interested in your life? How does what you were doing affect him? Why does he need to comment on it?

elliejjtiny · 31/05/2024 16:47

So sorry OP. I've got disabled children too and I've had my share of idiot encounters.

Sue152 · 31/05/2024 16:51

He was a complete dick, you were amazing (patient, calm, polite) - obviously.

I can't imagine how hard it is for your child not to be able to tell you what's wrong - it was what I found the very hardest thing about the baby stage. Are you able to give him some calpol or similar to see if it helps a bit? I really hope he is feeling better soon.

millymoo1202 · 31/05/2024 17:00

You are most definitely not useless, you are a caring Mum to a disabled child and you should’ve told him to F off, I know you shouldn’t have to but sometimes it needs to be said. Hope your child is ok sending love