To Never Look Forward To Anything….

[Tickytocky]

I’ve realised that I have been like this a long time.
Big occasions, far flung holidays, social events, etc, I just dread them. I worry about what will happen, who will not have a nice time, all the stuff that will go wrong, what I’ll wear, what I’ll eat, what if it’s the last one, the pressure just ruins it all.
I’ve tried to keep my life simple but I now worry about stupid stuff like not getting a table, the right table at a restaurant, the meal I like being sold out, the place being overly noisy, not getting a parking place, etc.
I stay home. Life is exhausting. Anyone else like this ?
PS - I promise I’m not a moaner 😂 And I use to be really outgoing!

Do you live with anxiety or depression? I have constant anxiety, no rhyme or reason most of the time. It can ruin even the most amazing experiences.

@comedycentral it does ruin everything. People ask if I’m looking forward to x,y,z and I lie and say I am, and all I want to do is get through stuff. And this can be bucket list things.

I look at photos after and i look fine, but I hated it at the time. Then I’ll agree to do something else and instantly regret having to go through with it 🙈

Yes, I'm exactly the same. Feels like nothing is worth the hassle so I don't do lots of things or plan them but then feel like I have nothing to look forward to!

You just describe me, i am happiest just not doing much

Described i meant

I'm not sure how old you are but peri menopause & menopause, basically the whole menopause family can be responsible for making you feel numb too 😔

I have to say, this sounds like something that some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy could help with. You can get referred via your GP. There will be wait though (NHS) so if you can go privately that would be a lot faster.

I am not a fan of CBT for a lot of mental health issues but it can be very effective with the sort of anxiety you're describing. You are basically 'borrowing trouble from the future' and catastrophising (taking every & any small thing that could possibly go wrong and taking it to the worst case scenario). It's a form of intrusive thoughts and at it's worse can really incapacitate people.

I'd strongly recommend you get help now as it does seem you might be on that downwards spiral You don't have to live like this.