Please can anyone help me? My mental health is in pieces

[Everybodystalkingallthisstuffaboutme]

Please don't call me names or mock me, I'm feeling incredibly vulnerable and having worrying thoughts.

I'm 33 but apparently men only want me for sex, not to date. I've got friends of this age who've been married for 5 years.

I'm the woman they fancy, but they don't get feelings for.
I think I'm physically attractive, I'm a size 8, I'm quite tall, I have a nice figure, I have nice skin etc. And I feel like I dress well.
I seem to be generally likeable, I've got friends, everyone says I'm nice, people say I'm funny, smart, interesting and so on.
I've got plenty of hobbies and passions, I own a flat, I like to travel.
I don't seem to have any massive dealbreakers.
I'm not absolutely desperate to have someone, it's really not that. Being single has many advantages, it's more that I am sick of never being enough for them.
A lot of the men I fancy are already taken, too.
I'm not unhinged, I've no issues with approaching a man or anything but I don't declare love after 2 dates or send 59 million texts or anything crazy.

It just all seems to be luck. People will likely say I give off a vibe, but I don't even think it's that. I don't go round talking about how I'm desperate to find the man of my dreams and immediately marry and have babies, or anything like that.
I just talk about hobbies, travel and stuff.

Anyway, I'm just fed up. I'm never good enough for these men apparently.

you sound fab I had this happen to a friend of mine and also myself. First things first don’t give them any sex make them wait - guys like the chase. Second the way you dress can attract the wrong type of bloke too! I challenged my friend who liked short skirts and tops. She had a great figure but always picked up the wrong bloke. I chose her clothes for a change. Completely covered her arms and legs and she ended up in a long term relationship.

actually you sound too good for these men being very attractive can have disadvantages too ordinary men will think they have no chance as punching above their weight and very attractive men who can get a woman easily will behave that way with you too , just be yourself but yes dont give them easy sex as that is what they will see you as

Thank you, I did think that but they still rejected me even if they knew I liked them so I just don't understand :(

You sound attractive and lovely !
I’m pretty sure what you’ve experienced from men so far is just unusually bad luck.
You will in all likelihood meet someone whom you hit it off with, who appreciates all your good qualities before too long.

Thank you. It just seems like everyone else has someone who loves them. Granted, I don't find any of their husbands attractive in looks or personality, and would not want to be with them but I doubt they care, they've gotten married.
I broke up with my ex of 4 years in December because of his lack of commitment, it sucks.

I'm so sorry that you have had these bad experiences.

In your shoes i'd just try and focus on doing things you enjoy and hopefully meeting some nicer guys who can see you for the whole person you are.

I think you've just had a run of bad luck in meeting men who aren't interested in any kind of committed relationship.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Hold your head high and continue to know your worth.

Please don't let this affect your mental health or self esteem.

I've found that most men on dating sites are not looking for a relationship. They are content with casual hookups and can get emotional support with casual relationships as well. There are women as well that just want hookups.
Nothing wrong with that, no judgement.

If you look at it that way then there is nothing wrong with you. You are just trying to find the right man who wants a relationship in a pond of men who mostly don't

They've gone on to have committed relationships afterwards, they just didn't want one with me.
They all claimed to find me very attractive and that I was a lovely, fun, interesting person etc. They just didn't want to be with me.

It sucks because I'd like a family one day and I can't afford to do IVF/go it alone.

I work with some very attractive men, the problem is our paths don't usually cross as it's an enormous office. Also I feel I'd look desperate to just start talking to them, I just don't know how to go about it or even if they're single.

Well you sound lovely, I don't know much about dating app's but are there any that are more geared towards longer term relationships than hook up type dating?
I think it's hard to find people on nights out who maybe want more, perhaps better to look at a hobby group for something slowly to develop?
Or those single holidays but interesting travel not the sex/boozy ones!
I hope you feel better soon you have plenty of time to find someone.

Could it be that you are competent and independent, and a lot of men can't cope with that. They can't cope with the competition.

Maybe you need to change the sort of men you meet. Change OLD platform to a chargeable one. Change your social environments.

Suggest after work drinks on Friday? For everyone, not just you and the attractive men obviously