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When is reasonable to allow babies dad to take him?

4 replies

ArtfulFatball · 29/05/2024 19:01

I have a 5 week old baby, his dad and I separated during the pregnancy (he cheated) and he has been visiting him at my house. He said he wanted to be able to take baby by himself for a little bit instead of having to be at my house (we don't get along so this is understandable). So I agreed for him to take him for an hour. But now that that is happening I feel so on edge and uncomfortable and anxious. Baby is breastfed (I pumped some for their outing) and because of how difficult feeding has been, he and I haven't really left the house since he arrived. But he's taken him to the restaurant where he works so baby can meet everyone he works with and it just makes me feel so uncomfortable. The thought of germs and random people holding him is making me worried, but it's his time with his baby so I guess he can take him where he wants to. Have I done the right thing letting him take him so soon? Please don't bash, I have a lot of new mum anxiety.

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BurbageBrook · 29/05/2024 19:10

It's completely up to you but as a breastfeeding mum I would have struggled with that so early. It is really personal though. Is he generally good with the baby? At least you can pump milk -- I struggled with expressing so it was maybe different.

Beautifulbythebay · 29/05/2024 19:13

Maybe see him wanting to show off your dc as him having acknowledged he is now a df... And proud. If he didn't want to engage with the baby would that be better? Grab a nap or a long bath. Do something you can't with a newborn attached to you!

ArtfulFatball · 29/05/2024 19:16

Beautifulbythebay · 29/05/2024 19:13

Maybe see him wanting to show off your dc as him having acknowledged he is now a df... And proud. If he didn't want to engage with the baby would that be better? Grab a nap or a long bath. Do something you can't with a newborn attached to you!

Definitely understandable that he wants to show off his baby. He's only visited for an hour on his way home from work most days but I suppose that's because he's not wanted to visit too much at my house, which I do get.

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Brbreeze · 29/05/2024 19:17

My LO is a similar age and EBF and I'm not sure my husband would be up for taking her away from me for an hour! But we haven't introduced a bottle yet.

Personally I think it's a bit soon but all babies are different. I would have set some ground rules re. anyone who wants a hold to wash hands and not to be held by any smokers.

That said I'm sure they will be fine, and if baby dies get upset, maybe he won't want to repeat for a while.
Try to relax and make the most of the break if you can!

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