Am I a binge eater or a sugar addict?

[clearglassball]

So for many years now possibly much of my life I have tended to overeat, especially sweet foods, full sugar fizzy drinks, chocolate, cakes etc. I am about 85 lbs over weight and have battled my weight since my teenage years I am now 45.

I did lose a lot of weight in my mid 20's which involved daily gym sessions, eating very little and using some shady diet supplement that used to be on sale in holland and barrett.

Since then I have regained all that weight and more. I think as long as 17 years ago I have been buying and eating excess food most days so things like cola, chocolate bars, ice cream, crisps, cake etc to the tune of about 1200 calories a day and the cost of about £120 a month. Over all calories in a day are about 3000 on at least 4 days of the week. This extra eating is of course hidden from my partner and involves me carefully hiding my food packaging in the household waste and having to frequently buy replacement items so he doesn't know how much I am eating. I think he probably does know to some degree but not the full extent of my extra eating.

I don't always eat until I am full to burst and I don't eat just anything nor do I make myself sick. I do very much overeat to the point where I can hardly eat my evening meal at times. It is a wonder I am not bigger given this habit I am currently 240lbs at 5 foot 5, which is at the border between obese and morbidly obese. I where a size 20 to 22. I do go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week. My blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol are all fine perhaps as I don't drink and am a vegetarian, my main meals are all homecooked and fairly healthy. I do know that my luck won't hold out forever on that front.

Is this binge eating? I think the way I eat the food isn't like how I imagine a binge but the secrecy isn't a good sign. In addition so much of my time is taken up thinking about food, craving sugar, planning ways to go out and get food, switching between different local shops because I am so ashamed of my habit.

Is this binge eating or is it more like a sugar addiction? I do use food as a way to reward myself, cheer myself up, for an energy boost etc. I grew up poor and sweets and cola where often a wonderful but rare treat from my parents and I have lots of happy memories connected to this, I know for a fact that recreating this feeling is a big part of why I do this.

I cannot stop this alone but when I tried to talk to my GP about it she was fairly dismissive as I didn't purge and she just advised me to cut down to one chocolate bar and one can of cola a day but I just can't do that as I feel like I am crawling out of my skin with the cravings that I can't focus on anything else.

@clearglassball Hi! Before I start, I just want to say that I am a Binge Eater in recovery. From what you have said on your post, it is most likely that you are a Binge Eater. I would really go back to your GP, and seek support. Some Binge Eaters do not make themselves sick, and I am under that category. The foods/drinks you mention are common for Binge Eaters. The daily exercise you once did to lose weight is a sign, and then putting the weight back on. I did similar myself in the past. The eating in secret is another sure sign of this eating disorder. Overthinking about food, and eating as a reward/or whatever you're feeling is a key part of it also. Hope this helps to hear.

@Needingacoffee Thank you that is helpful to hear. I will try my GP again.

Please do speak to your GP again. With that level of sugar and carbs, you could be at high risk of developing type 2 diabetes, and they should arrange a blood test to find out asap.

@clearglassball Just keep going back to them until they listen. I have a fatty liver because of my Binge Eating, and quite often have higher blood pressure more often than not. I was in an online support group ran by therapists for a few months. They based their help on CBT.

I am sure I am at high risk, a parent and sibling are already Type 2 diabetic, however a recent HbA1c was in the normal range. My GP previously said that I would only be eligible for help with my weight once I develop high blood pressure or Type 2. However I don't want to get to that stage if I can help it.

@Needingacoffee Thank you, yes I have worried about my liver, I was very ill with my Gallbladder a couple of years ago and needed emergency surgery and I am sure my eating was the cause.

@clearglassball I am at risk of Type 2 Diabetes. My Dad had it.
Ah, I had gallbladder issues before my liver ones. I have had the operation to remove my gallbladder in 2015. Binge Eating can cause gallbladder issues.

@Needingacoffee I really appreciate your candour, it is making me see I do need to seek help again and not be fobbed off.

@clearglassball I will always be honest about how it is with Binge Eating. It's not easy to gain control over, but possible. I have lost weight as a result, and my health has improved. Definitely don't let any doctor fob you off. The consequences of Binge Eating are numerous.

Can you remember what your score was?

CBT is really helpful for binge eating, currently having it now and it's been amazing. Would have to be specific CBT for weight issues and not usually available through NHS talking therapies. There's a book that's really useful too called overcoming binge eating by drinking Christopher Fairborn that I would recommend

@clearglassball I agree about Dr. Christopher G. Fairburn's book. It's an excellent read, and most helpful. My online therapy group used this book.

This sounds like me. So much.

@AGlinnerOfHope Look into the symptoms of Binge Eating more. If things seem to fit what you're like, then I recommend a visit to your GP. Get them to refer you for further support.

@zoo18 Well done for seeking help with your Binge Eating Disorder. I really hope things improve for you with the CBT you're having.

I have mentally admitted Binge Eating Disorder to myself and mentioned it to one or two close friends.

It’s just so tiring trying to stay in check all the time.

It could be binge eating, but to me this sounds like an addiction to sugar, and the more sugar you eat, the more you crave.

@DrJonesIpresume I wasn't told I was just informed it was normal and not to worry.

I think it is probably a bit of both to be honest.

@zoo18 Thanks I have ordered that book now.

I have this too. Managed to lose 2stone with weight loss meds, they were incredible. All the food noise disappeared and I just ate good food when I was actually hungry. I've had a couple of months off to try to continue to lose weight in my own, completely unsuccessfully.

Binge eaters tend to eat high fat, sugary foods. It's because of the temporary 'feel good' feelings you get from the hormones that are released. That makes you want to eat more to feel 'happy' again.

From experience, to lose weight successfully you should never go on any 'diet'. Also, it's not recommended that you go and exercise to try and lose weight, or use weight loss pills. These things add to the cycle of Binge Eating. Foods shouldn't be restricted. I have to eat 3 meals a day, with 3 snacks spaced out in between those meals. I have to eat every 2 and a half to 4 hours, and that helps stop blood sugar highs and lows. I can pretty much eat anything I like, but I stop eating what's on my plate if I feel full. I don't always eat the lot. I eat foods high in protein, so I feel more full for longer, and not hungry all the time. A lot of it is all about your mindset. It's about the 'unhelpful thinking styles' you have, that can cause you to binge. It's about not weighing yourself more than once a week, but also not avoiding scales completely. You need to work through what 'fear foods' you have - The ones you believe will make you fat if you eat them. It's learning to be happy, whatever shape and size you are. Plus, you need to become comfortable at looking at your whole self in a mirror, and not avoid mirrors, or focus on things you don't like about yourself. It's also about being more social, and finding things you enjoy doing in life, instead of just eating.
I am so fortunate that near where I live there's an eating disorder charity. Their support was amazing. I am discharged from there now, but can go back to them if things ever start getting out of control due to life events or whatever. I now have the CBT tools to manage alone.

I could have written your post OP. I have been eating this way since my early 20s, and eating has consumed so many of my thoughts for so many years.
Personally, I feel like it is more like an addiction (not necessarily to sugar, but the feeling of the food in general), because the binges are constant, not necessarily huge (obviously huge to normal people, but one packet of biscuits, not multiple iykwim) and there is no purge. I have tried thinking of it as binge eating disorder, and I tried working through the book Overcoming Binge Eating, which didn't really resonate well with me.
I struggle to identify my reasons for binging, I do it all the time, happy, sad, whatever, it's been an absolute constant in my life, except for a couple of years in my mid-twenties when I obsessively lost 4stone, but I really think of that as the other side of the same coin.
I too have had my gallbladder removed, had GD in my second pregnancy, and am 5stone overweight. I feel like crap with it.

Recently, I decided to try Mounjaro. I cannot tell you how eye-opening this drug has been. For the first time in my adult life, I can walk into a shop without panicking about what I'm going to buy. I have not sat in my car alone eating whole packets of cakes and I have not had to hide packaging in the bottom of the outside bin once. The children's Easter eggs were bought in March and I didn't eat them and have to replace them once.
This is how normal people feel! I've had chocolate in the house and just eaten a square, and not woken up obsessing over the thought of eating the whole bar before breakfast! The feeling of constant thoughts of food just disappeared overnight.
I feel uncomfortable recommending medication to people, because lots of people don't like the thought of it, but for me, it was not possible to just stop overeating, I've been trying to do that unsuccessfully for 20 years.

@clearglassball How was your childhood? Were you rewarded or soothed with sweet food?