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Original poster

Trauma and ASD

16 replies

NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 19:59

Hi, I’m hoping to get some input re this situation today. My high school child was a sudden school refuser after a successful first year at high school. No idea what happened. Fine one day, not fine the next. We thought something had happened in school/on the school bus but nothing disclosed by my child despite many attempts to support her and her school has no idea. 18 months on progress is being made but there was an issue on public transport today that made me think something significant did happen back when the school refusal started. A group of shouty teenage girls were hovering around our bus and then got on. My child was safe but I could tell she was anxious. I asked her and she said she was scared but couldn’t explain why. I’m pleased she could tell me she was scared but I’m worried about what happened to trigger this initial reaction and whether this was the trigger for her (now formally diagnosed) ASD. My child is 12 so the youngest in year 8. Could an issue one day trigger complete school refusal and be exacerbated by loud teenage girls when she was in a safe environment with her family? I asked and she doesn’t know these girls. They were just very loud and shouty.

OP posts:
Sunnysidegold · 28/05/2024 20:07

Could it be PTSD?

I had this (successfully treated now) and the perceived threat was enough to make me feel similar feelings to my actual trauma. That's a very simplistic way for me to put it, but it might be worth looking into.

Original poster
NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 20:15

Thank you, I actually think this might be what happened to my DD today. Reliving the buried trauma. If so, I am so upset for her about the initial trauma we have never got to the bottom of, but she was comfortable enough to say she felt afraid today when asked. And I’m so proud of her for this.

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GeckoFeet · 28/05/2024 20:19

You might want to read this...

https://www.awesomebooks.com/book/9781787750500/living-with-ptsd-on-the-autism-spectrum/used

I'd also suggest finding a counsellor who specializes in trauma and neurodiversity. They are definitely out there.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Secondary education SEN
Original poster
NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 20:22

Thank you, she has had CBT but not re trauma. I will definitely read this as I think something has happened she can’t process or tell me about yet. Something happened on the bus today that triggered an earlier event. I really want to know what it was to help her, but I actually don’t want to know as I can’t bear to think anything awful has happened and I wasn’t there to protect her.

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GeckoFeet · 28/05/2024 20:26

CBT is not great for trauma and not great for autistic people either.

Yeah you don't need to be her therapist.

It might not even be trauma it could be that she is sensitive to noise and her reaction is literally to the noise in the moment. A lot of autistic people find noise cancelling headphones help. You can get discreet little ones that go in your ear.

Original poster
NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 20:33

Thank you. This is all new to me. One point noted re the ASD diagnosis was noise sensitivity. That could be the issue and I will look at noise cancelling headphones but that then masks the danger issue. If there is a genuine danger issue there, that is. I’m just a completely new parent to this situation and understand my concerns/issues may be an overreaction to what other parents/children experience.

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GeckoFeet · 28/05/2024 20:39

Well it's good to talk her through how to use them assess her environment and then put them on. They don't block out noise completely they just reduce it...that's the beauty of them.

But make sure you talk to her about it, ask if she thinks they would be helpful and if so then choose them together. Then you can discuss when is good and not so good to use them.

Original poster
NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 20:52

Thank you. I will look at the FB links now. I’ll support her as best I can.

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Original poster
NewASDMum · 28/05/2024 20:55

Absolutely. Thank you. It was an unfortunate situation. I learned so much but my DD was so scared. I think we can help each other with this.

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GeckoFeet · 29/05/2024 16:03

You sound lovely and caring. It will be tough but I'm sure you'll get through it. 💐💐

Original poster
NewASDMum · 29/05/2024 17:36

GeckoFeet · 29/05/2024 16:03

You sound lovely and caring. It will be tough but I'm sure you'll get through it. 💐💐

Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. It is tough but the more I learn the more I am understanding, and being more understanding with her. She puts on a brave face/masks but I’m becoming more aware of subtle distress signs when she’s not completely in control.

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drspouse · 29/05/2024 17:40

Obviously trauma can exist without ASD, and anxiety is more common in ASD, but it sounds like you are saying in your OP that something traumatic triggered the ASD? I think I may have misread or that's a typo.

You do sound caring, as others have said, but being there to protect her is simply not possible with children as they grow up. In fact it isn't even best for them. If you are there and you protect them, what happens when you aren't? I am sure she's also been in scary situations when you weren't there but she managed it; and the more she does that, the more confident she can feel about doing things on her own.

Original poster
NewASDMum · 29/05/2024 18:32

I think something happened that stopped her being able to mask/hide any longer and it all got too much for her. Everything became a danger to her and she was constantly in flight mode. This has settled somewhat and we have an ASD diagnosis now. I know I need to let fight her own battles, but I was with her yesterday and could talk her through her concerns and explain how to help herself if I wasn’t there so she had more confidence if a similar situation arose. I guess I am just trying to help her deal with situations independently but I know I can’t cover everything, and I am sure she will be perfectly capable of standing up for herself in the moment. It’s just the knock on effect once the adrenaline has worn off. I’m just over-protective and I know I need to take a step back for her own sake. It’s so hard being a parent. The worry never stops - it just changes!

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IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 29/05/2024 19:07

It's the other way around really. Nothing triggered the autism. She is autistic and as a result has sensory issues which make it harder for her to cope with things other people don't notice. That day could have been a build up of little stressors until that bus noise is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

You could look up autistic burnout and see if any of that chimes with how she was when she was refusing to go to school.

Original poster
NewASDMum · 29/05/2024 21:19

Yes I agree. I’m just not dealing with the explanations/terminology very well. I know ASD will have always been there. I just meant her coping strategies had been exhausted leading to further issues we never anticipated. She was literally fine one day, and not the next. I will research autistic burnout and link it in with what has happened. It was just odd to get a straight answer when she was safe and nothing would have happened. But she knows what to do now.

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