Give a time when you were resilient.

[Happytimes123456]

What happened and how did you show resilience?
Looking for inspiration!

Yes and it's every fucking day. I have an abusive ex. 3 kids with SEN who Im the residential parent for and several chronic illnesses involving untreatable pain that's been sitting at an 8-9/10 for at least a year. Its finding a way to get up and get on with things when you have nothing left and you do it because the alternative is worse.

I think there's different kinds of resilience and the worst one to have to experience is when the trauma is chronic or reoccuring or massive or all 3. Sometimes surviving is resilience. Its not the buzz phrase type of resilience, it takes a lot from you and you don't necessarily recover fully. I think I've as successfully adjusted to being in horrific levels of constant pain as you can be, resilience is relative to what you've been or are going through. Some things you adjust and come out stronger, somethings are so bad or go on so long that surviving them and eventually recovering a bit, even if not completely is s type of resilience. Its just not the fairy tale version where you can go on about how it made you stronger and how worthwhile it was.

Put into care due to young drug addicted parents. Dad died in my teens of an overdose Childhood sexual abuse survivor.

I am the oldest of three, and the first to not have addiction issues.

I have an AMAZING life. I've somehow created this incredible life with my beautiful son.

I think the early years made me very independent. I was on my own at 17.

I hope I show my resiliency in gratitude for my life. Caring for others. I think I'm good at loving people.

My son is adopted and has early childhood trauma. I think parenting him with patience, compassion, and hopefully integrity is my greatest accomplishment given I had to find my own role models.

That said by first world standards I've been spoiled senseless. It's all relative I suppose.

I'd say my teen years.
I was diagnosed with ME at 15, left school with no GCSEs because I couldn't attend school (or indeed the private tutoring offered by the LHA enough to make much of a difference) I fell pregnant at a similar time, I went into my pregnancy thinking that I would need a lot of support because I was barely able to function a full day.
Anyway, DDs father buggered off, my mum chucked me out of her house because she didn't really want any of us when she wasn't receiving benefits for us kids. I was the eldest so wasn't really prepared and didn't know it was going to be like that.
At 17, I had no support system at all. One of my siblings went off the rails and kept disappearing, eventually it meant the police were turning up at my flat every couple of days to look for her as part of their search efforts because she had run away.
Then I found out that DDs father had been sexually abusing all of my siblings during our relationship, which he was arrested for, and the case dropped by CPS, I tried to protect DD from him, but the courts said I needed to allow contact between him and DD. In fact they were told by him that I'd concocted the story to get back at him...except my siblings told the police what had happened to them before I even knew.
I was cast out even further. But went to college to try and get some education.
I was groomed by a paedophile, though luckily I found out before he had chance to be around DD unsupervised.

Somehow, I just kept going.

By the time I was 20 I was in an abusive relationship and by 22 I'd pretty much had a full on break down, but for a good 4 or 5 years I just carried on carrying on. I seemed happy, I took the good in my stride with the bad, I never really spoke about my problems, I just did my best to get through them.

10 years on, I'm not nearly as resilient. I still don't talk about myself or my problems to people but I don't have the time for people complicating my life anymore. I'm careful to avoid stressors myself.

My DM was killed in a car accident at 69. My DF had already died years before at 54. I had to liaise with police, organise a funeral, wind up her estate and clear and sell the family home of fifty years whilst raising two DC. I was back at work nursing within three weeks.

When my mum and brother died within 6 weeks of each other. Mum from cancer and brother in Afghanistan.

I'm so sorry for your losses. That's heartbreaking. 💔

Many times.

I have survived abuse at the hands of my parent, strangers, various partners. I have pushed through education on my own with a child without the help of family, friends or a partner. I have, and am, pushing through single parenthood as a full-time working mum. I have pushed through my family abandoning me, making it out like I don't exist because I refused to put up with their abuse any longer. I have pushed through living in a different country (the UK) and re-establishing myself.

All that and I am now successful at my job, have a great relationship with my kids, own a modest house even though no one close to me in my life has ever believed in me.

I've had to be resilient every day for the last 18months after finding out what my teenage sd was doing, saying and involved in.
It's tested my marriage beyond anything I ever expected and I've had to manage my emotions and feelings whilst supporting my husband and other two young people.
I know I'm resilient by nature because I've been through an awful divorce and am still standing but this has tested me x100.
I managed it by finding a little bit of joy in every day even if it were just my train was on time, and throwing myself into work and the things i enjoyed like my family

Something I often wonder about is that I seem to have the capacity for a lot of resilience in situations most people would consider very challenging (e.g., illness, accident, bereavement) - yet very little for what you might call the everyday persistent chronic common and garden challenge of just getting on with life. The groundhog experience of ordinary life can feel unbearable.

Pregnant. An 8 year old. Doing a degree. Partner drinking. Mum diagnosed with cancer.

@Acinonyx2 Same. I’m good in a crisis but melt with everyday random challenges

I don't really know what people mean by resilience. Aren't we all resilient by still being alive? I could say I was resilient when I was sexually assaulted and kept trying to push him off me, then went through the whole police shite and being examined straight after the assault - and didn't speak about it again for about 10 years but continued trying to live life. Was I resilient because I didn't kill myself?

Older people seem to accuse younger people of lacking resilience these days, but what do they mean? Young people are extremely resilient to still be alive despite having so much stacked against them. They've been brought into a miserable world with the climate crisis being shoved in their faces constantly, knowing that old people won't be around to face the suffering, they're financially worse off than their parents and grandparents, can barely afford to start their adult lives. What would make them resilient? 60-70 year olds have lived a life with everything in their favour, being the most fortunate generation in history. They're hardly advertisements for resilience!

60-70 year olds have lived a life with everything in their favour, being the most fortunate generation in history. They're hardly advertisements for resilience!

Well, that didn't take long, did it? still, we were about due a 'let's have a go at the boomers' post being shoved in somewhere regardless of context.

I used to really suffer from anxiety at work but also wanted to succeed. Once I had a job I wasn't entirely suited to and a highly intelligent, popular boss at director level who started getting really frustrated. No training or support was offered. Eventually he started shouting at me including when I was right, I'd often cry in the toilets. I tried so hard to improve at the job. He then asked for me to be moved to another role. In my 20s I was nervous and embarrassed - would people think of me as a failure?

However the very next day I went to work and started my new role in the same office with a smile on my face. I decided to imagine it was all fine and no one would know I'd effectively been sacked at the request of someone I admired. I just tried my best and the new role was actually much better for me. I didn't hold a grudge against the director (after all he'd helped me find something better) and our working relationship really improved. It also turned out hardly anyone knew why I'd moved. After just over a year I got promoted. I'm still proud of how I handled the situation. And another lesson I take from it is no one is good at everything and that's OK.

Just to add that what people have overcome here is amazing. I'm so sorry people went through such difficult times but in awe of how you handled it.

Diagnosed with cancer in my parotid gland (just near the ear) in my 30s just after seeing an aunt die of brain cancer 6 months before. Luckily was operable, but told very high chance that right side of my face would be permanently paralysed as a result of the operation needed - no guarantee that the nerves that would have to be cut would recover and work again. Took a deep breath, had the op, and was paralysed as expected. My then husband (now ex of course) left me shortly after because "he couldn't bear to look at me". Persevered with various kinds of physio and treatments and did start to recover some feeling and a fair amount of movement. Got through the divorce, moved countries and built myself a great life. Finally met some who loved me for me (warts and all) when I was 44 and have been together ever since.

Sometimes you just have to push through, grit your teeth in the shitty bits and celebrate all the little victories *

*(like the first time I managed to eat cereal after my op without dribbling it all down my chin 🤣)

Most people who have chronic illnesses are resilient because they have no other choice. The world revolves but life still goes on.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain please don't characterise a whole generation or trivialise individuals suffering because of their age. Although on average the generation have been financially fortunate there are still people who have suffered through medical conditions, abuse, discrimination, bankruptcy and other tragedies. My mum in her 70s is one of the most resilient people I know.

Questions like this are complicated. People have such different experiences and react differently to things. It is like comparing a broken leg to a sprained ankle. A broken leg is obviously worse but to a person who has never broken anything and they sprain their ankle that sprain is the worst pain they have had and it doesn't hurt less because someone else has broken theirs.

I had a fairly traumatic childhood (put into care age 5, then adopted age 7 but adoptive mum not the best so NC for a lot of my adulthood). I would say that has made me resilient in that I just get on with life as the 'worst' has already happened.

Horrifically I can’t think of one instance but I wade (methaphorically) through shit quite regularly and continue the house routine with a smile on my face. Not sure this answer would work in an interview 😅😅😅

60-70 year olds have lived a life with everything in their favour, being the most fortunate generation in history. They're hardly advertisements for resilience!

They hand washed and line dried, cooked from scratch. if someone was abroad they couldn’t contact them except by post or possibly irregular phone calls. A lot never left the country due to cost and it was legal to hit your wife. You should check your own privledge!!!

In the last six months I have had to agree to switch off life support for my Dad after a massive heart attack, watch him pass away and deal with his estate on my own, been made redundant and sold our house to move 200 miles away.

another way of looking at it is that I was with my lovely Dad as he passed and was able to give him a truly personal farewell, I've got a big redundancy pay out and an exciting new job starting next week and have found a beautiful house in an area we've dreamed of living in for 5 years.

I'm not going to pretend it's been easy but sometimes the only thing to do is keep faith in yourself and keep going. In my experience of this and adversities before there will come a time when you can look back and are able to reframe the story of the adversity into resilience and what you took from the experience, that has what has kept me going, through what has been a punishing and anxious 6 months.

When I was continually in and out of hospital as a teenager, had the year of my GCSEs off school due to illness and was left with permanent damage due to late diagnosis.

Expectations of me went from being those of a top pupil with a bright future to seeing me a massive inconvenience and no one expected me to do anything with my life.

I worked extremely hard to get back as much strength and stamina as I could, completed my A levels over 3 years and went to university graduating with a 1st class degree. Now have a great career, life and wonderful husband although still deal with chronic illness.

Looking back, I’m not entirely sure how I did it other than I had the determination that I was going to get away, take control and make something of my life if it killed me.

Supporting my elderly Dad through serious illness. It was tough, went on for 3 months. He is now doing great!

Are you the interviewer or interviewee? What sector? Or a journalist or writing a book?

For myself, would 1 January 2012 to the present day do? Don't know how long you've got but there's all sorts in there - multiple bereavement, events that caused PTSD, family fall outs, a difficult menopause, near fatal car accidents, chronic illness, partner becoming disabled, employment issues including insane managers - take your pick. And they're just the ones I can remember and don't even include Brexit fallout or COVID or the cost of living or the impact of the Ukraine and Gaza conflicts. :)

You might get more usable answers if you specify a setting.