Wine etiquette: serve wine people bring to your house - yes or no?

[OMGitsnotgood]

I’ve just commented on a thread I started asking for wine recommendations. Rather than asking the question on there, thought I’d start a new thread with a more specific title
I recall a discussion on this with a group of friends a while back and there were mixed, but fairly strong views.
I have no strong feelings about this either way, just interested in your thoughts:
If oeople come for a meal at your home and bring wine, do you always serve or at least offer it, or do you serve what you have bought yourself? (let’s assume that the wine guests have brought goes with the food you are serving).
Some of the people discussing it felt it rude to serve the wine brought, as it looks like you haven’t provided enough yourself. Plus it’s awkward if it’s not nice. Others feel offended if the wine they take isn’t offered as they often spend more on wine to take somewhere than they would at home. As said, makes no difference to me either way. Sometimes we don’t use the wine brought if we have matched wine to the food, which is what happened at the meal at someone else’s recently. Didn’t bother me at all, we were kept well watered! But if people want wine before or after the meal I’ll offer what they’ve brought or alternatives that we have available.
Appreciate it’s a first world problem, asking purely out of interest.

I would offer it as the second bottle, not the first, if it goes with the food.

I'd open it.

It really varies to be honest. Normally I pick my wine to go with the food and my friends know this (they do the same) but I will say that I will save their wine as a special treat. There are a couple of my friends who have sadly lost their partners and both like wine but do not want to drink on their own. They will often bring a special bottle that they want to try and we will share it.

I ask what they want. So they’d get a choice of the wine I’ve chosen or what they brought. Tastes do vary, after all, and I’m no wine guru.

A dinner or birthday or event then wine and chocolates brought by guests are gifts for the host which you put away and enjoy another time (or subtly regift).

Friends over for a casual get together, fine and expected to serve the drinks etc. that everyone has brought.

I open theirs so we can all enjoy it together.

Plus after time it makes them bring better wine because they will be judged 😄

If white, judge by whether it's given chilled or not.

With red I'd normally offer it. I've been brought up to offer red or white irrespective of the meal. If people want to drink red with fish or whatever that is totally up to them.

Depends on a few things. If its white wine - is it cold when they arrive? (Warm wine is vile). Is it oaked? (no no for me). Is it one of the ‘not so nice’ supermarket brands (Gallo etc - I would politely accept and put in the cupboard 🙈). Anything else decent and cold, I would happily crack open!

I used to work in the wine trade, so I pair wine very closely with food: the wine on the table will have been chosen to complement the menu.

My friends know this (and like it - I'm quite good at it!) so there's an unspoken agreement that any wine they bring over will probably go in the rack for that night and we'll have it at some point. I do NOT stint on booze when I'm hosting, so there's always more than enough to go around!

The exception would be something like a pre-chilled bottle of fizz, which we would most likely open straight away, especially if it was a celebration.

Many years ago, pre-kids, when we had a bit of money, DH would buy quite decent wine and we'd take a bottle to my parents when we visited for lunch/dinner. It always got whisked away and a far inferior wine was served. After a few years of this, DH said very politely to my dad that he'd quite like to drink the wine he had brought. Apologies all round, and that's what happened from then on. Tbh was never quite sure whether my parents were being rude or polite 😀

I think the proper old fashioned etiquette was not to serve wine brought by your guests/expect the bottle you brought to be opened, because the host will have chosen the wine specifically to complement their food. Thus they should accept your wine and put it away.

However this is probably more flexible today. For example we often take good bottles we want to try to certain friends' houses as we like to share and taste wine with them.

If it was nice wine I would open it although not always with the meal depending on food.

I nearly died of shame once when my husband - presented with a blush wine- said we will open that later as our palette will deteriorate after food.
i did give him a kick up the arse for being really rude!

No, I would treat it as a gift. Serving it seems a bit studenty.

Yes. I'd say "Would you like a glass of the fine, chilled wine that I have or some of that other stuff you found?"

I would ask. However much people like to pair food with wine, people have different tastes and I'd prefer to give the guest the option to drink what they would like. If they've bought it as a gift they'll say. If they've bought it because that's what they prefer to drink, it gives them the option without them having to feel rude if they don't fancy what I've chosen.

I always thought it was rude not to open wine the guests brought. But I'd also open a bottle of our own, so there's a choice.

I only drink red so il have one breathing ready to go but would still offer them the Choice to have their own one that they brought.

I would anyway but especially if they brought white.

anyone I’d have over though I’d check beforehand if they wanted white because it’s never in the house.

In general it goes in the wine pile and if it gets drunk that night it gets drunk.

If it’s friends and they’d specifically like to drink it, or would like me to open / not open it for some reason then they’d say so and we’d do that.

If its acquaintances then I’m not judging whether they open mine or not and I don’t expect them to judge me.

I ask people what they would like to drink, offering the red, white and possibly (probably) rose I had bought, g&t, soft drinks etc or what they have brought.

I'd open red with the meal. Champagne or white, if cold I'd open but if not I'd assume they'd brought as a gift (I take ice packs to keep bubbly super chilled for serving, or I deliberately take it warm and say it's for them later).

Serve my own, we aren’t students where it’s bring your own.

If you said to me would you like me to open it and give you a glass or have some of mine, I’d think you didn’t have enough wine and I’d offer to drink my own to save you embarrassment.

Agreed, I’d ask if they want the bottle they bought or the bottle I already had.

Agree with this!

We assume the bottle we take is put to one side as a gift for the hosts, I always buy a lovely red and don't actually drink red..

I did take my own wine once and ask for it to be opened as it was a zero wine and I was on antibiotics but wanted to feel like I was drinking. That may have been a whole new level of CF who knows!