I think it was last year, maybe around September it hit me. I am able to function and get up and go to work. I enjoy working on my laundry and haircare every week. However there's so much happening.
-I can go weeks between showers
- I used to love cooking and receipes and healthy eating. Now I buy foods and most of the fresh stuff goes to waste.
- I used to live looking after my teeth and now I go to bed every night without brushing my teeth.
I am not in a good place.
- I was getting harassed for a long time and the police never took it seriously. Solicitors bounced me back to the police when I tried to sort this through civil law. I got nowhere and the person who's doing it still raised her ugly head and right now the abuse she's doing is about once a month. It's all demands focusing on an arguement from 10 years ago while she threatens to wreck havoc on my life. It's been years of punishments and revenges from her. If she just kept it to her bad words, I could handle that but she's desperate for attention she went down the route of my partner, my work, my family, - there was no end to her and she still continues to this and likely until I have nothing left. I am not responding to her.
- my mother is behaving erratically with some intense behaviours, moods and outbursts and I strongly suspect a behavioural variant of dementia. She's so odd. Often she's spaced out in her own world and she looks confused. This week she spent all week dragging the same pieces of furniture all around the house.
- I am weeks and weeks behind on work and paperwork. The load is unreal.
- then is all hit me very hard in April - everyone was after me while I was trying to help my partner through surgery.
- then I have another bad realisation about our relationship and I don't think me and him will ever be sharing any sexual intimacy together any more. It's been off the table for years from him.
All of this is too much for me.