How unusual is it for year 8s to be drinking alcohol?

[Ikeatears]

Having issues with my youngest (y8). Normal teenage stuff like being in his phone too late/bit of attitude etc.
have addressed it all. His phone limits and he has to hand it to me at bedtime. He's been grounded.
I've been checking his phone regularly and in his deleted photos there are videos (sent by other kids his age) of them drinking alcohol. I don't know the parents.
He's been invited to a few 'parties', which so far, he hasn't been allowed to go to (mainly because he's been grounded) but I'm now finding out these parties are unsupervised and there's clearly alcohol flying about.
How do I handle this? Do I just not let him socialise outside of school with kids I don't know.
I can't believe at 12 and 13, these kids are already drinking!
Never had this with the older dc. They were still riding their bikes and kicking a football about on the park at this age. Help!

Mine didn't start having booze at parties until aged about 16. Definitely no booze in Yr 8.

I hear you about the 'cool kids' having selective parties earlier - I'm sure that happened.

When I was at school a girl had a bring a bottle party aged 14. Her mum supervised it ! God knows why she sanctioned that Isuspect she wanted her daughter to be one of the popular kids.

Our guidance from school was that most kids don’t drink until later but that parties from y8-9 may feature drink (and drugs!) so parents should always be on the premises and children need guidance at both home and school- don’t assume that this is an issue for later.

My eldest is in his 20's now. He didn't drink until year 10 and even then hardly ever. I have a child in year 8 now he definitely hasn't had alcohol yet - he doesn't go anywhere that he would get it. He only goes out in the evening during summer, he's on his bike and has to be home by 9.
I was definitely drinking Cider on the odd occasion with friends in year 9 - no idea if my parents knew or not.

I think you can't really shield him from all that as it will eventually happen and he will just get upset that you deleted things from his phone. I would just talk things out.

Twelve?
My 16 and 18 year olds have zero interest in alcohol. My 20 year old drinks a little but can take it or leave it. I'm told they see it very differently than my generation did/does.

Drinking at twelve is just insane.

I would report to the school. Send them the deleted videos and my DC wouldn't be going to any of the parties. Year 8 is far too young and they're not old enough to make sensible decisions without alcohol never mind with it.

There are peer groups at my DC's school that have been using cannabis and alcohol from Y8, but I wouldn't describe this as the norm.

My elder DC was at the same school, and among her peers parties where parents provided a limited amount of alcohol were common in Y11 when they were turning 16, most often with the parents around to keep on eye on things.

I went to a rough school in east London and the only kids drinking at that age had serious issues/family problems/were in the care system etc, late y9 yr 10 up more common

Y7 is the first year in secondary, yes?

if so, not at all unusual. We were warned at the parents meeting start of 2nd year (which I think is Y8 equivalent) that most teens start experimenting that year. In our case, dd had already told us quite a few were already drinking regularly. But there was also a group in her year who had no interest, and most of those played a LOT of sport, and most still had very little interest leaving school. They still went to most of the parties, just stayed on minerals or Kombuchas, and came home before it got messy.

We had open conversations, let her know we’d be prefer for her to have the odd beer or glass of wine at home first to learn how to handle it (an approach my DGPs took and my DPs), and to be 16 when we started that. But in reality, she’s been too focussed on serious sport - at 19, she’s had a few glasses of champagne over the years at celebrations but is not interested in drinking for itself.

If he is doing this now and you don’t stop it, you are in for trouble ahead. Of course it’s unusual. Well done for checking his phone, lots of parents don’t bother. I’d let him know you know, and I’d stop him going to any more parties. His new friendship group are trouble.