Why do I feel anxious/guilty about last day in toxic workplace?

[sm5667]

Today is my last day in my toxic workplace, been there less than 6 months, I have had many panic attacks on the way into work, nearly cried at work multiple times. But yet today is my last day and I feel anxious, sad it hasn't worked out and guilty for leaving. Why?!

I don't think there is any logic to our anxiety. I am glad it is your last day and happy for you that in a few hours you will be free of this toxic situation in your life. I hope that the anxiety lifts once this job is behind you.

I think it's quite normal to have a mixture of emotions running side-by-side. Especially when things haven't worked out as you had hoped. You need to get through this final day and then pat yourself on the back for making it through an emotional time.

If I was in that situation, I would take the day off to be honest. If you have personal items there, or any work equipment at home, meaning you can't avoid it, could you go in as early as possible then just go home ill?

It's not worth it to try and get through the whole day.

Thanks all, work in nhs, so it's gonna be a case of pushing through and I think reminding myself why I am leaving.

Well presumably you started a new job thinking/ hoping for the best, expecting it to be a new chapter in your life, etc.

It's pretty normal to feel disappointed if that hasn't worked out.

But it's good you are drawing a line under it and moving on.

Thank you @Bringbackthebeaver that's exactly summed up it!

I think it’s because you are having to confront a reality that you had planned out very differently in your mind. So, not to sound over-dramatic, but you are in a kind of mourning for what you had hoped this job would be, and perhaps the opportunities it would bring to you, when the reality has turned out very differently. And it’s inevitable that you worry about your own part in this, even though the organisation turned out to be toxic and not a good fit. And of course in a way you feel a sort of rejection, even though it’s a very good thing that you don’t fit in to a work culture that is toxic.

Also, change and uncertainty is really hard! I am reading a book about grief atm and a very simple summary of some of the points made is that apparently those of us with the best mental health are the ones who can accept, adapt and change to life’s circumstances the most readily. And those with poor mental health stay stuck in denial, and wishing things were different and are unable to move on and cope with new circumstances.

When it comes to employment I think it helps to take a step back and think that there are thousands of jobs in the world and thousands of people and this one was just a mismatch. It doesn’t mean you are a failure in any way. You have probably learned one or two things from the experience and you are now better equipped to know what you do want professionally speaking. And as soon as you are out of the stress of that awful environment you will start to feel more peaceful and confident within yourself and ready to tackle the world again!

Hold your head up high today op! You haven’t done anything wrong. Your standards and values do not align with those of your workplace that’s all.

X posts!

Bringbackthebeaver has said exactly what I was trying to say but much more succinctly 😀😀

Op, if it’s an NHS job, then please don’t feel badly. It’s the system, not you 💐

I'm with the person who has been bullying me the worst, Tuesday she basically reduced me to tears and I could hear her bitching about me to other members of staff, so far she has been okay to me, but I hope the rest of the day goes okay!

Please, please ask for an exit interview with HR. I left a job because of bullying (NHS too) but did get an exit interview - I think because of the extremely high turnover of staff. It really helped me.