Advice for FTM returning to work with a 9M old baby?

[user666555]

Hello,

So as the title suggests, I'll be returning to work as a FTM when my baby turns 9M (she's currently 6M) what should I start doing to help myself for when I have to go back? DD will be going to nursery the days I go back to work (part time)
Would it be better to move DD into her own room before I return to work?

Thanks

i went back FT when babies were 6mth. Do settle sessions. batch cook & freeze in advance.familiarise self with journey. Find out what nursery prep you need to do in advance. Eg change bags, write list about baby routine & preferences
Get your best smile on for ignoring the naysayers when the are disparaging , and for sure you’ll encounter the head tilt and disapproval
My kids all slept own room from birth. If you’re going to initiate a room change do it now to settle and familiarise both of you

finally good luck. You’ll both be just fine

Start her at childcare a bit before you go back to work. Nothing more stressful than having to leave them unsettled and try to concentrate on work, or get called to collect them midway through the day.

If driving to work, see if you can come work flexibly to dodge traffic.

If bf, have a plan for what to do with full boobs!

Accept that starting nursery often means a period of catching every bug going for a while, which can mean you have to stay off work - check work policy, agree approach with your other half, see if any support network could step in (eg my parents help with non-vomiting slightly I'll kids, but not sick or properly poorly ones).

As for her own room, up to you really. Do you get enough sleep? That's all that matters.

@NoCloudsAllowed
Thank you for your tips.

Funnily enough I discussed taking a week's leave the week she's supposed to be starting nursery as I'm apprehensive as to how she may get on as it's just me and DP and he's always at work so she's only really had me around properly.

The bug thing - yes I've been told. I used to work at a nursery part-time whilst at uni and when I caught everything going round 😂 I don't really have anyone that can help as such. Just DP can, but he's the main breadwinner here so he needs to work as he's self-employed so if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid. However, I do think my work is flexible with family related leave.

She's quite a light sleeper so I do wonder if having her sleep in her own room will be better for us both as she won't be woken up by the smallest of sounds and I won't keep waking up to check why she's stirring every two mins?

@Zone2NorthLondon thank you so much.

I've got leave the first week she goes to nursery (I'll be going back the next week) and I've already thought I'll batch cook then as she won't be home (as much as I love her, cooking around her is a difficult - I have to cook one meal in instalments throughout the day 😂). So when she's going for her settling in sessions I think it's the perfect time for me to get started on batch cooking.

She's currently 6M and will be 9M when starting so I imagine the routine will be different then.

I feel anxious as there's been a lot on the news recently about nurseries and it worries me but I guess they highlight the bad things that happen. X

Do you guys believe nursery benefited your babies? I feel so anxious.

Both of mine went to nursery. First at 10m and second at 9m. I would say it's done them the world of good. Built up a skill set of how to interact with other children from an early age. Also hugely helped build immune system.

From a rtw perspective. I went back the second time too early 6m. Whilst my little one was fine, I was not.

I found it had to concentrate and get work done. I was still emotional and hormones all over the place.

My advice would be check in with yourself every so often. Hormones make you feel irrational and crazy. Mum guilt is so real. Be kind to yourself.

@Beckknowsbest85 I 100% agree. Mum guilt is so difficult.

I was speaking to my manager about the plan with childcare and he was talking about how his LO went to the childminders instead and he said it's a better environment over a nursery (for his family anyway) which made me think is a childminder what she needs or will she be fine with a nursery? I don't like the idea of one person being 'in charge' of my child. I feel as though there's more room for things to go wrong and things to be concealed. I like the fact that with a nursery there's more than one member of staff to help and to have oversight.

Yes 6M would be too early for me too I've bravely agreed to 9 months. I hope she'll be fine. The rational side of me knows she'll be fine but I can't help but worry

My dd went at 9 months and is now in reception. She absolutely thrived at nursery, it was such a special time. My ds went at 7 months, he is 18 months now and loves his little routine.

My advice is more for you than baby ....

Be prepared for sickness. Have a plan for backup childcare. I found the work transition hard with my first and really hard with my second (I went back 5 weeks ago). Go easy on yourself, don't make too many social plans those first few weeks back. Remember you are actually good at what you do, it just takes time to get back into the swing of it. Life feels much faster when you go back to work. I love the break from my kids though and I love the time with my kids more.

Lose the mum guilt and handwringing. you’ll be in pieces if you don’t get yourself together.
My kids are flourishing at nursery, they have little friends, like the staff, have a fun filled day
Youll need to leap back into work. You learn to compartmentalise. You work baby goes to nursery.

Re the Illnesses, yes initially there will be brief episodes but they’ll build an immunity and get supercharged
Mozart HR anticipate this, you’ll have carer leave,your partner will have carer leave
What I will recommend Is you and your partner assign who’ll go off when you get the call so it’s not an unplanned drama. Between us We know who’ll spring into action if we get the nursery call
Make sure everything to do with baby doesn’t fall upon you by default. Your partner needs to step up and step in too

Lol,I meant most HR, autocorrected to Mozart