Majority of dads not helping out at school events

[FrenchFries2024]

Only have two schools to judge by but I think it’s really unfair that virtually all primary school events/ activities seem to be organised exclusively by women. Why can’t the dads organise a raffle, help out at the disco, go in and read with the kids etc…? Surely it can’t be just that all dads work full time. At my DCs’ school, only one dad has helped supervise at a school disco in 8 years to my knowledge! I am not surprised but expect more really.

Well, women don't have to do it either.

When I was growing up, all my friends' parents worked and none of them ever arranged anything like this. Now as an adult I know very, very few people who work part-time and none who stay at home (unless with pre-schoolers).

At gc’s school the pta seems to be run by the mums with fairly demanding jobs, some ft some pt. Few dads and practically no mums who aren’t working.

The chair of the PTA at my DC's secondary school is a man.

My DH has helped at a few discos and made tea at the summer open day, I haven’t done anything.

They don’t have or feel a social pressure. I would happily pay a significant sum to the ptfa for them to leave me alone. Life is busy enough without the expectation that I should give my time and money to them. I would happily just cut to the chase.

I don’t know if it’s being in East London with lots of parents in more creative wfh jobs but I’ve been really pleased to see how many dads are volunteering at school events. The PTA does seem very mum dominated though.

This is so true.
Weve had a few dads help at the school fair. But because their wives have asked them to.

A few dads chip in but predominantly the women here helping also. And they mostly have demanding jobs.
some of the dads with part time jobs don’t help out at the schools at all. Womins work ennit.

Ours is very evenly balanced - even things like school trips are a pretty equal split of mums and dads. There are some very enthusiastic men in our class WhatsApp chat.

DD's used to go to an all girls school. The Dad's were shamed into being good role models for their daughters by the PTA [all the mums] in the vein of demonstrating what a good dad looks like/equal opportunities/girls can do anything style. They did mostly man the bbq and run the annual camp out but it definitely shifted mindsets.
Sadly we had to move and co-ed was the only viable option. It's all Mum's on the PTA and organising everything as far as I can see.

Tbh the only men I see doing pickup are grandads or men who are self employed eg tradesmen.

I don’t know any men who have reduced working hours or work flexitime after kids where as most mums I know changed their hours or working pattern.

It's just at your schools op....

People used to say that to me all the time, but none of them ever actually gave us money!! They did all come to the Christmas fair and the school disco though. If your PTFA is anything like ours I'm sure they'd happily take you off their potential volunteer list if you hand over some cash!

I have sent them money. I know their most financially successful event (by a very large margin) since covid as when they sent out a link to donate money for the school library.

We've just had a new PTA and there are loads of men on it! It's changed things up with events too, more barbeques and fewer bake sales... I think if you can get one or two influential men on there, it changes the perception of it being a mums thing.

A lot of dad's help at our school. But they tend to run the BBQ, bottle tombola, sports games etc. So it still does seem a little sexist. Need to get dad's on the facepainting next time!
We've got some celebrities at our school, a lot of cool parents who want to be seen to be helping, which is great!

Sadly,men volunteering with things, especially with younger children, are viewed with suspicion by some.

I've not noticed with our Scouts... mums are more likely to volunteer for a regular meeting. The men volunteer when we get the fire and tools out.

Could not they instead be good role models by showing their daughters that you don't have to respond to people trying to shame or guilt-trip you into doing (mostly unnecessary) things that you don't want to do or have time to do? It's not always good to be a people pleaser. As PP said, in many cases men just don't feel the social pressure - good for them.

I never volunteered for anything! Also my children only ever went to film night. I have no interest in wasting my hard earned money on rubbish, be that cakes or barbecue food 🤢.
I’m glad mine have left school because can think of anything worse than a class WhatsApp group. I wouldn’t join.
Don’t have WhatsApp.