More money longer commute

[Charl1991]

I’ve an interview for a job with a higher salary (plus yearly increments), the role and employer appeals to me massively. However it’s further away and my commute would go from 45 mins to maybe 1:15 hours?

I’d also need to use trains rather than drive, as the city (Manc) is apparently dreadful to drive around? The last time I commuted by rail they were so unreliable it made my week a living nightmare. I also have a 2 year old who need to be dropped off and picked up from nursery, his dad could do some of that and has agreed to me dropping off and him picking up, but he works away sometimes so I’d need to ask for flexibility to finish early at those times. Also what if he’s away and the train is delayed and I can’t get to my child??

I’m quite stressed about this as I want the job, but I’m considering dropping out of the process as I’m not sure the commute would be feasible.

I’m not sure what advice I’m hoping for but appreciate any views on whether similar situations have worked for you/ whether you think I’m right to withdraw?

To answer the Manchester drive question.
In my own experience, if you need to drive in between 7am and 9pm and drive out between 3pm and 6pm, don't do it!

I'm lucky in that I can choose the hours I work, I only drive and avoid these hours like the plague.
Plus, if your work is city centre based, it can take forever to drive a quarter of a mile at rush hour.

Personally, I couldn't stand a commute as long as you estimate every day

7am and 9am 🙃

I could interview and they don’t even offer it to me of course, but why do that if I wouldn’t even accept the job?

@Justleaveitblankthen the nursery hours limit my commute times too, I couldn’t leave until after 7:30am

Driving non starter depends on train/tram

I’d take a 90 minute train over a 45 minute drive
does depend how easy train is mine was direct and just over an hour

Driving in to Manchester is shocking, any time after about 7:30 is insanely bad.
When I used to drive I used to start at 8:30 but leave at about 6:45 and get in at half 7 and sit in the office with a book for an hour but, if I left at 7 I would be late for work. It was ridiculous.
Depending on the line you’d be on I don’t find the trains as bad as they used to be but when they are bad they are awful.

Is there scope for hybrid working?

I used to drive into Manchester and you're right the traffic is horrendous - I now get the train which is generally faster and more relaxed. However some train routes are better than others. Mine is quite quiet, always get a seat and reasonably reliable.
I know from bitter past experience though that some routes are chaos.

Can you research the specific train route first? That plus hybrid working might make it OK?

@Shudacudawuda there are direct trains that would be fine, considering there are no delays or cancellations at all. But I can’t stop thinking what if my child was at nursery and my train was delayed! I have nobody else to pick them up.

I think if there's a risk your child could be at nursery with no back up for collection if there are train issues, that's kind of the answer right there.

Longer term, they will also be on much more restrictive hours at school Vs nursery, even with wrap around. Holiday clubs are also notoriously not the full working day.

When my husband is away with work, I have no plan b for pick up if there's an issue with transport. Which limits how far away I can work, and the hours I work.

Would you relocate if the job worked out? If not, I'd think hard about the impact of that commute and be realistic about what happens in a worst case scenario if you get stuck in Manchester.

Unfortunately it is guaranteed that there will be some days when trains are delayed or cancelled.

Can you move house? Manchester is a great city. Taking the job and living 30 mins away from work would be the best of all worlds

How much more money? Work it out net of deductions.

@Greenbike we wouldn’t move. We only
moved house a year ago and have 4 years left on the term

The usual rule of thumb is max commute 45 mins. After that it gets very dreary very quickly.

I'd definitely interview

Ask about WFH

But I can’t stop thinking what if my child was at nursery and my train was delayed! I have nobody else to pick them up

Isn't that a show-stopper right there?

Unless you can travel outside peak hours or do mainly hybrid, how will you cope with a demanding role that's at distance from where you live and where your childcare is located.

You can port a mortgage (subject to your t's and ''s) if this was the only limiting factor preventing relocation. Otherwise given how unreliable trains are, this is going to be a tricky one to make work. Even hybrid would be hard, dependent on how predictable your husband working away is.

I don’t find the drive into Manchester too bad but at 7.30 it still takes me 30 mins to go 5 miles. The issue now is parking. Not as many car parks left and the prices have gone up

Is there a nursery near the workplace? Would it be possible to take your child on the train and then the nursery is near your work?

But that would be a long commute for the child too.

I think in reality this is a non-starter.

Or could you change to a child minder rather than nursery who might be a bit more flexible?

you need to sit down and discuss with child's dad
if in long term the higher salary, better job, which could lead to better job, etc etc, is of absolute benefit to the family and household you need to share collections until you are either established in new work place you can be flexible or child can be picked up by others, friends perhaps in an emergency or you can share with dad.

This is a household decision with repercussions and benefits for all.

Definitely agree with pp about avoiding driving into Manc, it's completely ridiculous. The roads seem designed to block and there's so many diversions and roadworks it's a shitshow, particularly during rush hour or match days. Is there anywhere on the outskirts you could get to, then get a tram in? Don't even bother with trains, they are too expensive and so unreliable. Trams are usually regular and on time.

My '1hr15' drive is actually 1hr30-2hrs in real life, depending on the traffic. So unpredictable, and the trains will be too. I'd only consider it if the money was significantly better as it will be constantly stressful not knowing if you'll be back in time for the nursery pick up.

Would you struggle to get a similar job? If so, I'd try and make it work if I were you, whether it be by getting partner to change working pattern, moving, changing childcare settings, asking for flexibility, etc whichever is the more realistic in your case.

My life improved considerable when I went from a 45 minute drive 5 days a week to 10 minutes 4 days a week

It's just not worth the stress.

Unless it's like double?
Can you calculate you work hours so from leaving the house to returning to the house in the old and new salary and see if computes- plus also factoring additional travel cost.

Are there any other benefits to this move
Beside financial Eg toxic workplace, career progression, threat of redundancy,

Which rail company would you be reliant on? Transpennine Express can be horrifically bad, and Northern is not much better